My subordinate resigned

Question

My subordinate resigned. At first I did not accepted her resignation and she agreed to stay, however a week after that she said that she will leave. Now she says I do not supported her enough and did not appreciated her contributions.

BansheeBailey · Answer

It sounds as if your team was not a good fit for her.

Do you think she made contributions that she might have thought you didn’t appreciate? As a manager, you can’t be all things to all people. Do you think you did anything wrong?  Only you can answer that.   If you don’t think so, let it go.

It can be unnerving when a subordinate leaves and then blames you for it.  But it doesn’t sound as if this happens to you all the time. If it does, you might want to get some coaching. If it doesn’t, just let it go.

LEANNE TOBIAS · Answer

My thought is that if your subordinate wants to leave, let her go,  Better to hire a new, more enthusiastic person for the role.

Don’t let your departing employee get you down.  Not every boss-employee relationship is made in heaven. Wish her well, offer to give her a reference if you think she’s earned one, and— if you wish— say you look forward to stay in touch.

What you might want to think about for managing your next employee: 
   -Are your performance expectations clear and achievable?
   -Does your employee have the training s/he needs?
   -Is your employee getting regular feedback— both positive and corrective— *in addition* to  formal performance reviews?
  -If your employee is doing a good job, how will you let him/her know, and what kind of reinforcement and rewards are available?  (Do you have budget and approval for raises or promotions?  Does your company have other ways of showing appreciation to employees?)
   -What are your preferred methods of communicating with your employees? Have they worked well?  If you need more management or communications training, how can you get it?

Maggie B · Answer

I think this is a very good opportunity for you to take a personal inventory of your relationship with this employee.  Start with offering them an exit luncheon.  Cover their meal and be open to their feedback.  Be there to listen.
At a former role, two friends of mine submitted their resignations to the same manager on the same day.  Said manager responded to this by lashing out, and saying in a meeting that they were both making a huge mistake and they'll be back some day.  I had encouraged them to bring up their concerns and, if they weren't happy, to move on, and my communication with them was used in the case to fire me.  Don't be that guy.
Treat it as a learning opportunity.  I know people say 'employees don't leave bad jobs - they leave bad managers' but you have a chance here to make sure you are not the reason people leave.  Make sure that future employees are moving on because they've learned a ton from the role and they're looking to grow beyond what your company can offer, and be excited to see that.

Jennifer Swayne Njuguna · Answer

Was there an opportunity for an exit interview with HR before she left? Perhaps that can be a way to learn more specifics. You can't be everything to everyone, and at the same time there are perhaps opportunities to learn here. I would maybe spend some time reflecting on the relationship and answering the following questions:

1. Do you think you supported her? Why or why not and what evidence supports your answer? 
2. In what specific ways did you show appreciation for her contributions? What was her response when you did those things? 
3. Did you take occasional trainings on successful management practices and implement them?

Answering these questions can help you think about your management style with respect to other direct reports and your management going forward.  Wishing you all the best going forward.

Catie Hargrove · Answer

I 100% agree with A.N.'s advice above. If you have other people that report to you (and, if/when the departing employee is backfilled), consider conducting 'stay interviews.' A quick google search will yield you some great background here, but essentially it's the opposite of an exit interview. As a manager, you want to keep on top of why people stay in your organization and how to keep them. Be open to conversations about their development, where they want to grow/go in their careers, etc. It helps you to build trust, rapport, and ultimately keep great people or support them as they grow in their careers (and not be blindsided when they resign). Best of luck!

My subordinate resigned

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