I have worked at my current job for about a year and a half now as an administrative assistant and I've reached a personal boiling point. I work for a nonprofit, and although I am assigned to help a project on the program side of the organization, I report to my office manager, who is also our HR manager. There is also an admin lead, who although does not review or accept my timecard, has become the right hand of my office manager.
It's no secret at my job that the team I assist stress me out. Everyone knows. It's mainly the projects manager, but there are other team members that also stress me out. I sometimes receive tasks that go past the deadline I requested, and sometimes the turnaround time on tasks can be unrealistic. We've been doing a lot of virtual events, and although I am now getting the hang of things, it was a pretty stressful learning curve. Despite the stress, I do like my team. They mean well, I think they're just overworked.
I had a check in with my office manager and the admin lead about a few weeks ago, and they've asked me to compile a task list of everything I do, who assigns me these tasks, and how long it takes me. I have already submitted a task list over a month ago to them, but that list didn't ask for specifics. I'm always being encouraged to "manage up" at my job, so I had directly discussed with my admin lead that I did not want to submit this list if it was a matter of needing to manage up to my team. (Did I mention we had three people quit within a three month span, and one of them was the director of the project? Yeah... ha) I have a new team, and I'd like the opportunity to work things out with them. The admin lead's response was that this was something I could discuss with my office manager and her. I didn't respond because, well, to be honest I was annoyed. I'd rather just speak to my office manager; the admin lead's insistence in this makes me uncomfortable, because it feels to me like I have another boss. I'm sorry, but I answer to so many people already (team is currently at 12 people), and I am not comfortable with having another boss. Because I didn't reply, at our admin weekly meeting our CFO asked us to complete the task list for allocation purposes and used the example of "if it looks like you're spending more time on a project than before, we would want to allocate that time to you". From my point of view, she or my office manager asked the CFO to make this request. I'm at 90% allocation to my project right now, so my first thought was that they were trying to review my tasks to give to another admin. Although I've been told I'm not the only person they've requested for this task list, I know they're not asking all the admins.
I completed the task list on Friday, and was told yesterday I needed to be more specific about how long I spend on things a week. We had our weekly meeting yesterday as well, where we were told allocations have been completed and sent to the project directors. Learning that has made me confirm my anxiety about this not being able allocations. I don't know for sure what this is about anymore, but it feels shady.
I want to quit so bad. I go back and forth between putting in two weeks to a month notice, but I am equally scared of this job market. I've never left a job without securing a job first; this would be the first time doing so. I've been applying, but there's no telling how long this could take. I don't know what to do; the stress is effecting my sleep, and I'm crying pretty often now.
Update: I am
My question is: any advice?
I am overwhelmed by the amount of responses I received, thank you so much. I appreciate the insight and advice, quite a few of you helped me shift perspective. This job is stressful during a stressful time. I have been applying to more jobs, and I will continue to do so.