Should I go to Human Resources or just quit?

Question

So I have been working for this company for two full years, and I became a manager after fighting for a year. In that year I was told I was to young, to small, to nice, and I couldn’t handle myself that that’s why no one would promote me. So fast forward to three months in I get a new manager and she off the bat doesn’t like me at all.  This manager has yelled at me because  I can’t move as quickly as the other employees. I have bin diagnosed with hip and knee dysplasia and scoliosis. On top of a plethora of other medical stuff. I am also dyslexic so I don’t grasp stuff the first time it takes me a second to get threw everything. I process things differently. I have bin very open with everything. My boss as told me numerous times that I need to “grow up”, that the other associates are “better sales men” Then  me in-front of the entire staff, I have bin trying to go up in the company for a year but can’t do that with this manager. I have gone from having 40 hours a week to having 11 witch has caused a financial hardship for me and my family. I have  also have asked  the manager about my boss if I could do a transfer and he told me I need to “figure my shit out”.  Is the company worth staying with a and fighting and go to Human Resources with all this or do I cut my losses?

EliseChristina · Answer

Whoa, I’m a bit blown away at “the list” you have provided here. As a managing lead, a consultant and someone who also has a medical condition that impacts my performance level on occasion( I self manage and it works for me). 
A- the moment you were told you’re “too young” to be promoted, the gloves are off. This is discrimination. 
B- because your too “small” and too “nice”- this is inappropriate language and again- size comments is discrimination. 
C- disclosing your condition(s) is optional, and a company has a right to decline an accommodation if it puts “undue hardship” on the company. So, have a learning challenge and physical challenges do impact you, if you have chosen a physical and high pressure field. 
D- A company/ organization cannot deny your a promotion because of the afore mentioned situations if you hit the same goals at the same or better rate as your co workers. They Can decline a promotion on your attitude, lack of competitive education and professional behavior. Some even decline due to personal, such what is posted in your media and socially or if you have a second job, ect. 
This doesn’t sound like a good fit for you at all. If you enjoy sales and need a more tailored environment, consider remote and in office flexible positions, or even taking some business management courses to help reach your goal of a management position in the future. 
I also agree with Samantha, being in management takes a heavy toll on a person and if you are struggling and frustrated now, it would only exacerbate these issues, having more responsibility on you. 
Back up, reconsider and start looking at what you see yourself doing in the future, try other fields out on an “audit” 
I am an ex social worker, changed to business management & development. I’ve done it all and close to probably seeing it all, I’ve turned those experiences into working with companies and organizations and private entrepreneurs, teaching “best practice” as well as  a business analyst to best support whatever the business needs in being successful.
I wish you lots of luck in your future endeavors.

Ariana Nunez · Answer

Don't waste your time with HR. Pack up your skills and dignity and leave.

Melanie · Answer

Go see you HR department.  Make sure you have a timeline of dates and times of what has happened to you.  Also, you may be eligible for an ADA accommodation depending on the size of the company.

Vivi-Lou · Answer

Wow, this thread is a handful... The situations you have been in, some comments pushing you even further down...
So I think Gina Diamante has the most valid point here, report and run. 
Even though your company may has valid reasons not to promote you (which we cannot know) it is under no circumstances valid to treat you like this.

ANDREA HERRERA · Answer

Without knowing what state you are in and the size of the company: 
1. Document everything.  Start collecting emails, etc. 
2. Start looking for a new job, you'll feel better that you're taking the steps. So update your resume and get out there.  Search for companies that proactively hire disabled workers (https://www.monster.com/career-advice/article/disability-friendly-companies). 
3. Go to HR and ensure you have registered your disabilities, physical and learning. The ADA defines a person with a disability as a person who has a physical or mental impairment that substantially limits one or more major life activity.
go on line to the eeoc and file a complaint.
4. File a discrimination claim on the EEOC web site.   Again depending on where you live the state may have a local commission.

Mostly find ways to manage the stress of the situation.  Only  you can determine if the job is worth the battle.

Jennifer Elliott · Answer

Get out of there ASAP.  It sounds like an extremely toxic environment.   You will find a job that's a fit for you and a manager that will embrace you and everything that you bring to the table.  Good luck!

Nia-Alyese Rae Boyd · Answer

I am so sorry that you have had to deal with such inappropriate behavior at work.  My advice would be to create an exit plan. Use your part time status to find a job that is a better fit and  that will help you support yourself and your family. It is also important to report this behavior to HR.  List days and times (past and ongoing) of his problematic behavior. Women must create paper trails to document what amounts to abuse in the work place.  HR should support you in this and your manager should  be held accountable for age and gender discrimination!  While it is necessary to be self reflective about your performance, your skill set development, and your interpersonal communication style, nothing about the way you described the situation, nor the fact that there are typos in your text, suggests that you deserved to be treated disrespectfully whether you earned a promotion or not.  
Wishing you the best with your next steps.

LEANNE TOBIAS · Answer

I agree that your company is legally required to be making reasonable accommodations for your disability, and that “too young to be promoted” is age discrimination.  Your rights have been violated.

What I would suggest is negotiating a financial settlement for the discrimination that you have suffered, and moving on.  This is not a good environment for you.

You will be taken more seriously and be able to work out a financial settlement more readily by working through a reputable lawyer who specializes in employment law.  These lawyers often work on contingency— they will be paid approximately one-third of any financial settlement that you receive.
 
As well, I hope that you’ll take action to improve your writing— this will benefit you professionally.

Kathleen Beeman · Answer

The most important thing to do is to formally confront your manager, which if you feel like you can't do that because of the situation then contact HR or most companies now have an integrity line that you can submit and they will investigate. You have a responsibility to report any ADA or discrimination that you experience not just for your own well being but imagine all of the other people out there that also are feeling the same thing! If you would like to be a manager this is a great stretch for you to speak up and stand up when the situation is hard and awkward. I had to do it a few times and I not only got support but it made me grow as a person and learn to speak for myself. If the company doesn't stand behind you then you definitely should leave and find something else but try to leave on good terms. You deserve better!

Anonymous · Answer

So here are your options: Move on because that is incredibly unhealthy or contact HR and try to make it better for the next person. You are not obligated to help the company by alerting them of their issues in management, but this might be a really hard way of paying it forward. Another option would be to alert HR, write a letter to the tippy-top of the organization AND get yourself out of there. Do what is best for yourself and your career.

Should I go to Human Resources or just quit?

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