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Anonymous
04/26/19 at 1:48PM UTC
in
Career

Networking Anxiety

I have a really hard time whenever I go networking events. Specifically, I feel like I don't know how to a) start / enter a conversation with someone, or b) how/when to stop the conversation. The other issue I always face is that if there is someone I KNOW I want to talk to and he/she is in another convo already, should I stand there and wait till he/ she is done? should I intrude and join? Any advice is greatly appreciated.

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Head Bookworm
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52
Head Bookworm
05/14/19 at 8:33PM UTC
Lots of good advice here. I gave a presentation on networking to a group of introverts a couple of years ago: https://www.slideshare.net/kellyschrank/engineering-your-networking-experiences. Some of it repeats what people have posted above, but there mightbe some new information for you.
Francesca Vanderwall
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610
05/06/19 at 11:15PM UTC
First of all, kudos that you keep trying! It can be daunting trying to meet new people. In regard to your first question, I'd suggest a simple approach. Look for someone by themselves. Then go make small talk for a few minutes. If that isn't an option, find a small group (e.g. less than 4.) In these environments, few people are going to "dismiss" you for joining in a conversation. In regard to your second question, I think you have to assess the situation. You know you want to talk to someone, you've found them in the crowd. If they're having a deep conversation with someone, I'd linger close by. If things seem casual (or if your VIP looks bored) then consider trying to join them. You might be doing your VIP a favor.
Alyson Garrido, Career Coach
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447
Job Search and Career Advancement
05/02/19 at 8:58AM UTC
I think it's important to remember that networking events aren't the only way to expand your reach, connections and influence. There are many types of professional events and social events that you may enjoy more, then meeting people is a bonus and you'll increase your chances of being comfortable because there will be people like you who were attracted to the event, speaker, etc. For those events that you do go to, I think it's a great idea to catch the eye of the person you know. Hopefully they will introduce you and fold you into the conversation. That's typically the case. I also recommend asking lots of questions. People enjoy talking about themselves and you'll probably find a point of interest or introduction for them. If it's time to get out of the conversation, try saying something about how you should both be mingling and meeting people at the event. If applicable, share your contact info for later. Finally, when in a pair or group, try to keep yourself pointed slightly outward so as to not close the circle and exclude others. This will make it easier for others to join you. It's also good karma for people to bring you in when you're outside of a circle. You've totally got this!
BeckyB_25
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178
Release Train Engineer. Mom of 2.
05/01/19 at 12:48PM UTC
I too find group networking to be somewhat useless. My best advice would be to find a way to schedule a 10-minute conversation outside of the event with the individual you are "targeting." You'd be surprised what an e-mail with a bit of praise/admiration will get you, especially if it's coming from an authentic place. Good luck!
Sandra Diaz
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764
I leverage data and systems to deliver results.
04/30/19 at 10PM UTC
In addition to what Nancy Jensen suggested, I'd say scan the room and look for people who are not talking to others. They will welcome having a conversation with you. Approach them, and say "Hello, I'm [your name]. Nice to meet you." (they should respond). Then ask "What brings you here today?" (listen to their response). Then you can ask the "I've been wondering about X" (and listen again to their response). Once you're done, then you can say, "It was nice to meet you, hope you are able to get what you were hoping to get from this event" and move on.
Nancy McSharry Jensen
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204
CEO of The Swing Shift. Badass mother of two.
04/30/19 at 8:36PM UTC
I always go with three questions I'd love answers to - it can be career or job focused, or even about what happened last night on GoT ;) if that's super timely. It makes it much easier to talk to people, because all you have to say is "Hey I've been wondering about X - what do you think?" At the end of the night, you've got your own little market research on whatever the topics might be. Also, ask people about why they're at the event - seems obvious but people have different reasons. Finally, ask people about themselves - what do they do for work? how did they get into that? what do they like about it?
Olivia Oz
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846
04/30/19 at 3:06PM UTC
Practice and prepare! The more talks and interviews you have — the more confidence and less anxious you'll become!
lauramsmall
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10
Working Mom, HR Professional
04/27/19 at 2:43PM UTC
This is a really hard one. I have trouble with this, too, and I've been doing it for years! I actually wrote an article on it (attaching it here: https://www.ragan.com/networking-for-people-who-hate-networking/). My suggestion? Don't go to the events that you don't like! I hate the stereotypical "networking event" so I try to focus more on other ways to meet new people and strengthen existing relationships. Let me know what you think!
Anonymous
04/28/19 at 12:29PM UTC
Thanks, Laura. For what it's worth, I have the same issue at parties!
Anonymous
04/26/19 at 4:37PM UTC
I don't have great advice for you because I feel the same exact way... Would love to hear what others have to say on this!
Kate Solomon
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627
04/26/19 at 3:46PM UTC
Not sure I have great advice on this but I can certainly relate! I feel the same way - I get very anxious at networking events. And also feel like I'm awkwardly lurking when there's someone I want to make a connection with but they're already in another convo. Hopefully someone else in this community can give us advice!! :)

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