26
© 2022 Fairygodboss. All rights reserved.
How soon is too soon to combine finances with your partner?
My boyfriend and I have been living together for about 3 years and we are getting to the point where we split pretty much everything evenly. He brought up the option of combining our finances completely, but i'm not sure if this is a smart move before marriage?
I found this article that was super helpful. It covers different scenarios (right now we are doing the “I Got You Next Time” approach lol) https://havenlife.com/blog/combining-finances-with-your-partner/
But I was wondering if anyone had advice/insight into merging finances before marriage?
Thanks!
Alice JohnsonComputer nerd-ish, travel lover, connector
649
11/01/19 at 8:53PM UTC (Edited)
Same!! My partner and I, when we got engaged we figured it would be easier to just combine our finances, but I honestly didnt feel 100% comfortable with it. I trust him, but I've been handling my own money without anyone else looking over my shoulder for so long. I felt a little weird about giving that up. SO we came up with the idea of both of us keeping our separate accounts, but opening both a joint savings and checkings account. That way we still have our separate things, but also make it easy on ourselves for when we split the cost of something (which is very often). We also tested the whole thing by having a joint credit card first. (He was the real owner, but added me as an authorized user so I got my own card). We did this for about a year and a half and I felt like this built a foundation of trust for the both of us as far as financials go. We were able to see each other's spending habits and learn how to make joint financial decisions all before the bigger step of actually joining our cash. I think it was a good baby step for us.
I also want to let you know that DO WHATEVER YOU FEEL IS RIGHT FOR YOU. There is no wrong or right time to join finances. Absolutely ONLY do it when the both of you are ready. My fiance and I had this conversation for over a year before we both felt right about it.
Liz BuiGoal Oriented Go-Getter
156
10/29/19 at 5:21PM UTC
My boyfriend and I have been together for 2.5 years and we just cover each other's expenses. I will pay for one thing then he does the next, we don't actually split anything anymore. I would say hold off on putting your finances together until you are legally married to him, just for your own financial safety.
[email protected]Marketing & Design Specialist
12
10/28/19 at 7PM UTC
Keep splitting the bills! Keep your own account and there won't be any disagreements in the future.
SophieG
226
10/27/19 at 4:54PM UTC
As a divorcee and remarried woman I would say always keep an account even if you have a joint one for bills. My parents were together for 45 years until my mothers death but mum always had a bank account of her own.
Anonymous
10/27/19 at 2:14AM UTC
You should not combine anything until you are married. That's the whole purpose of becoming one.
User deleted comment on 10/27/19 at 2:12AM UTC
User deleted comment on 10/27/19 at 2:11AM UTC
User deleted comment on 10/27/19 at 2:11AM UTC
Trisha Malcolm Brand strategist
12
10/26/19 at 11AM UTC
I had my own separate banking etc. after being together for 6 years (both married and unmarried) I joined finances. I was the worker and me husband was the stay at home father.
In a nutshell, I’m still recovering financially from the damage he did 15 years later. His recklessness and dishonesty ruined our relationship. And the divorce was expensive too.
LEANNE TOBIASInvestment real estate/sustainability
3.67k
10/26/19 at 6:49AM UTC
Whew... why would you combine finances without being married? I do not see any advantage to you in doing this, unless you have a written agreement relating to the separation of expenses and the division of assets should you separate.
In addition, depending on the law in your state, long-term cohabitation could allow a partner to claim common law marriage. Combining finances would only strengthen such a claim.
As this suggests, I would not combine finances before marriage without a written agreement. I don’t see the upside to you.
© 2022 Fairygodboss. All rights reserved.