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Anonymous
07/05/19 at 1:50PM UTC
in
Career

Waiting for the axe to drop

I have a new boss who is very different than the one I had for 5 years at the same organization. Needless to say one of my boss’ peers and I had an issue earlier this year, I shared a project experience with some industry peers that cast him in a negative light. The things I said were factual however I did not use the best presentation to describe it and he took huge offense. For whatever reason I wasn’t fired on the spot and instead have been stuck in a strange twilight zone for months. During the initial meeting with him I explained my reasoning for sharing my experience and I was assigned a coach. Nothing was ever documented in writing that i know of, if it was it was not shared with me. Needless to say I have been actively job searching because this person has made my life difficult, he has the power to fire me at any moment and my boss doesn’t want to cross him so he goes along with whatever he says which makes for incredibly uncomfortable meetings (the three of us meet regularly). The coach is very nice but I have no idea how long these coaching sessions are supposed to last, if I am being graded on them or what. I asked the coach and she just replied “it depends”. The coach reports to him. Meanwhile every day I worry I am going to be called into an office and fired. I am trying to continue doing my job well but it’s difficult knowing he is lurking and may have a plan to get rid of me. Hirings and firings are generally made by him even his peers don’t have the ability to pick their own direct reports or fire them. The comments he made to me during the initial meeting with my boss have made me bitter, it is very obvious he hasn’t liked me for a long time but he didn’t have the same leverage over my old boss to get rid of me. He apparently dragged up every negative thing anyone has ever said about me and threw it in my face, things like “No one here likes you”; “I know you said X about Y and I told her you said it” and “You have a terrible attitude you are negative about everything” generally just embarrassing me in front of my boss all the while smiling at my boss. Awkward AF right? oh and telling me I am great at my actual job function. I think the plan is to make me uncomfortable enough that I quit, I was denied a bonus for work completed last year without explanation, I get the cold shoulder from this guys staff (I assume they were told) and it’s just damn uncomfortable but I can’t speak to anyone at work because I feel like people are always listening to report back to Big brother if I say anything negative. Aside from taking a stiff drink every day at work any advice? (I am joking of course I don’t drink at work) I don’t have work friends/confidants so i cant share this with anyone because I don’t know who his allies are. Everyone I explain the situation to outside of work can’t believe the power this individual holds when they are not the CEO (that person has no time for small stuff like this) I am using my network and applying for new jobs but my field is specialized and I feel like everyone is on vacation so I am not getting call backs. And one last item, the coaching has been valuable in helping me to better chose how/when I share experiences so that I don’t get into a situation like this again. It’s funny and sad but a number of folks have told me it sounds like I work in the White House because this man’s behavior is similar to what we hear in the media. .

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Explorer709996
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158
I run a small health clinic.
07/09/19 at 3:20PM UTC
I think you crossed a line very early with the new boss. I'm glad the coaching has given you insight into this. Remember that there is a learning curve for every new emplyee -- including leadership. You must be a valuable team member, or they wouldn't waste resources on coaching. Try to bridge the bad water that you created by gossiping about your new boss. You can do this by trying to get to know the new boss's preferences for work. Take responsibilty for your inappropriate behavior and let the boss know that you have learned from the experience. BTW - I am an exec, and would have fored you on the spot for gossiping about me - especially if I was new to the company.
Six Figure Salary Coach
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947
Let me help you add 5 figures to your pay, today
07/05/19 at 2:05PM UTC
First - I can't believe a 'boss' would talk to anyone like that. Let alone their employee. To be frank, this guy sounds like a D-Bag! Sorry to not be more PC. How anyone can say "no one likes you here..." while at work is beyond me. What is that solving? That sounds like the most infantile response ever! I my 3 and year old fight with more intellect than this HAHAHA Do you have constructive dismissal legislation in your state? This sounds shady and treating people poorly or unfairly to get them to quit is not legal (I am in Canada). Not to mention the hostile workplace that he is creating and borderline psychological abuse! I am normally a 'fight it out' kind of gal. I believe there are problems everywhere and there is something to be said for persistence (in anything - work, marriage, family, etc) but this doesn't sound good or healthy. This isn't situational. I know you are trying - but find another job. Maybe meet with some recruiters as well. They can help you out further as well. I know this isn't good advice. I know that this is something you are already doing. But I want you to know that this is NOT OK! Depending on what happens after you leave, I would consider filing a constructive dismissal case if you can. People like this shouldn't be in leadership positions. And sorry, your boss needs to grow a pair as well. I get it, it's his boss too but this behavior is not OK. This is probably my most angry response I have ever written. Not very eloquent at all - but this fired me up first thing in the AM haha
Anonymous
07/05/19 at 2:34PM UTC
thanks for validating me. We are an employment at will state so they can fire me for no reason at all and nothing I can do. I joked with my BFF for Christmas I should get the boss a sewing kit so he can see his bxxls back on! My biggest worry is that this guy is blackballing me to other companies. he couldn’t stop telling me about all of his accomplishments and connections the day he slammed me. He may be a mover and shaker in his little industry sector which could somewhat hurt but I am hopeful my own experience and reputation drown out his noise. He is not someone who holds things confidentially, he has shared private information with me about coworkers he never should have so I just don’t trust him not to try to sabotage my attempts to find something better. Having the power over me is likely thrilling to him. On the upside, a past employer wants to meet with me in a few weeks about coming back to work for them which I think speaks volumes about me as a valued team member.
Gina Diamante
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880
News Editor at KPBS, San Diego's PBS/NPR station
07/09/19 at 4:53PM UTC
Depending on what state you're in, his "blackballing" can be grounds for a lawsuit. That's the case in California.

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