As a woman in the work place, I have seen my share of sexism. For nearly 15 years I have seen men pass flippant and snide remarks about the way certain women dress. I have seen clients doubt a woman's ability and question her, but show respect to her subordinate male. That's nothing new. But, after coming out as Asexual in my work place, I feel as though I am under fire from all fronts...
When you throw Asexuality into the mix I feel like things get hazy. It's almost as if you remove the cloak of femininity and don a dingy child-saftey-blanket. Yet, I swear, sexual comments all but triple-- and this time from men and women!
'Well-- I doubt you would understand.' is a quip quickly followed up by 'Well, maybe you just have not found the right person yet.' Jokes are made, and the laughter never includes you. 'Virgin', 'childish', 'innocent', and 'inexperienced' are all words that now bare a stinging bite when used. And they have NOTHING to do with my work performance! You are some how less of an adult-- now considered a child among your peers. A child they feel entitled to make sexual innuendos around and giggle about-- like some how you didn't catch them...
Before I continue to rant, a quick explanation. Asexuality does not mean I view myself as an amebae that can asexually reproduce-- split into two and clone myself. That would just be silly. Asexuality means a general LACK or AVERSION to sex-- and it's a murky spectrum in and of it's own right. That's another topic for another time.
When I brought this up to another co-worker, she rolled her eyes. "Well, if you didn't announce that you were a prude to the entire office, maybe that wouldn't be the case."
I was floored.
So... As an Asexual, I am denied viability? Even though I am a member of the LGBTQ+ community, the social stigma seems almost like a smoke screen. It's there, but intangible. If someone called my lesbian friend a Fag or Dike, it would be highly offensive, and rightly so! But when someone who does not experience sexuality in male/female dichotomy exists, it's still socially acceptable to demean them and taunt them?
Anyone else experience something similar? Or perhaps you've experienced a different result?