Dating at work

Question

I am really attracted to someone at work. He's not my manager (thank god) but he is senior to me and I really want to ask him out. There's no rules against this at work (I actually checked the employee handbook) and there's a married couple in another department that met at work a few years ago so I'm not violating any company policies. But I'm worried about pursuing this relationship because what if people gossip about us or what if we break up? I have gotten to know this person after a couple years of working with him so I know he's a good human being who wouldn't gossip but I am more worried about other people gossiping about us. Curious if anyone here has been through this or has any thoughts?

Anonymous · Answer

I met my husband through work... you can’t help who you fall for. You can control your behavior at work and keep it professional.

Anonymous · Answer

I also met my husband at work. I had similar concerns - what if we broke up and it became awkward, etc.  I think somewhere deep down I knew he was different and we did handle it with professionalism and maturity.

We've been married for 15 years and I'm thankful for him every day.  I can't imagine life without him.

My advice?  Do some social things together with him - lunches,  grab coffee, etc.  It will give you more clarity on pursuing it or not.  For me, I was worried that it was a case of forbidden fruit being sweeter (i.e. I knew I shouldn't date him so it made me want to!)  But spending time alone with him at lunch and on breaks helped me see that there really was something worth it between us.

And one other thing...don't worry too much about gossip. People are way less interested in us than we think. And if you handle the situation well, there will be nothing to gossip about.

Dating at work

You're invited.

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