“I don’t love you anymore”. A statement made up close and personal by my then husband of 17 years. It took him an additional year to leave (with our joint business) I inherited the house in a $1.00 sale. And he was off to greener pastures.
I had never been on my own before. I was in a three story American Craftsman and now the house echoed.
I went to the library, and I became intimately acquainted with their stock of movies and audible books. However, when the moth hit the lamp shade at the witching hour, I woke from a sound sleep with my heart pounding, and a startle response that kept me up until dawn. I realized I couldn’t go on that way. I liked being on my own. The boss of me. I didn’t want anyone else in “my space”.
So I decided to look for sleep meditation. Breathing exercises worked for me, but they were not enough. And I found him. Joseph Clough, a deep relaxation sleep hypnosis and life coach on YouTube. I listened to the same meditation exercise for a week. Accents can affect how we listen and our level of alertness. If you don’t believe me, listen to the Sonnets as read by Sir Patrick Stewart on Facebook. You will understand. So, in listening to Joseph Clough, I found that I was sleeping without fear. I was waking up in a good mood. I was looking on the sunny side so to speak. And I realized he had at that time over 500 free downloads for me to peruse and I just psychology 101(Ed) myself right through the lot of them. Yay me! I also found more free content with Felicia Day and her Twitch crew, Critical Role and their sagas of D&D. I was having entertainment and enjoying myself. My fear of living alone in the past.
Then came George Noory and Coast to Coast AM. What? This was all of the things I enjoyed as a kid. Sasquatch, the Fae, Near Death Experiences, and more. Through him I found Midnight in the Desert of which Shannon Legroe was a guest host and what do you know? She had Into the Fray...! 172 episodes of interviews, there are so many out there, but few of her caliber who were doing what I longed to do. I wanted to ask the questions. I wanted to engage with people as weird as myself.
From the time I read textbooks aloud for English as a Second Language Course, and reading for the Sight Impaired at the Library of Congress I found my next step. In an economy which is unfriendly to personal interviews for onsite positions which I would be able to perform.
Until recently, I thought I needed a studio, like the one I had for my music or a sound booth. I don’t. All I need is my phone with its built in mic, a quiet space, and of course a platform such as Anchor, Dolby On, etc. I am learning the tools and will be presenting finished product within the next two weeks. Yay!
Podcasts mean that I can share the stories of others and myself, in a likeminded arena of our choosing. It is giving someone who has closed the doors on conventional employment and hopes to one day be as well known as my grandmother who would sing gospel on the radio with her children gathered around her in their living room. Love you, Grandma Carrie.