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Trying to balance who I am with all male department
Working with all men isn’t a problem for me because I find it as an opportunity to bring more women into my department after proving how important diverse perspectives are. This has worked well for me a number of times... but not this time.
I love what I do and I’d say I’m generally a confident person. However, I’m finding myself getting walked over by a group of colleagues I work with. I’m losing my voice and getting walked over with my opinions. The respect I used to receive is slowly going away so my plan of making a diverse department is shattering in front of me. Has anyone been here? What are some ways to deal and turn it around?
Lady Pele
Retired Project Manager
3.96k
03/20/19 at 1:24PM UTC
This can be extremely frustrating. I don't know the specifics of your situation, but I can share what I’ve done in the past, which is a hard look at myself and how I’m relating to others.
Am I presenting my message in a way they will receive it? For instance, am I using acronyms or buzzwords? I’m in IT and we love our acronyms, but I have to eliminate those from my vocabulary when speaking with a business customer. Am I repeating myself on a topic that was previously finalized? Am I giving background information that is unnecessary and boring the audience? Or worse, am I talking “at” my co-workers, which doesn’t give them the opportunity to provide their insights and comments. Asking for feedback can be very helpful.
Am I paying attention to my non-verbal signals? Am I making eye contact with everyone or avoiding it? Am I crossing my arms and leaning back in my chair or am I leaning forward eager to engage?
Have I been ignoring their opinions and proposals? Listening is a skill we can’t afford to ignore. I’ve found if I say “I agree with Joe. What if we add (insert my ideas) to it.” Is helpful. Acknowledging and giving credit to another helps build rapport.
In the same way, if I asked for feedback and was given it, did I follow through on the comments. Summarize feedback so your co-workers know you’re listening to them and incorporate it where you can.
If none of this applies, perhaps you can share some examples of what's happened?
Julez
986
03/20/19 at 11:15AM UTC
I can absolutely relate. I used to avoid conflict and realized that got me nowhere. I used to wait until the conflict was big enough and then finally say something which was ineffective. I’ve learned to say “I disagree” for even the little things and I found my opinion becoming more and more respected overtime.
This may not sound familiar but if it does, stand up for yourself early before the project/conversation becomes bigger and uncontrollable.
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