Dinner with your boss?

Question

So my boss has invited me and a coworker to dinner and drinks next week. It's a nice gesture yes, but she's not exactly the friendly type. I'm sort of nervous about what kinds of conversations to have or ..not have. Is it in appropriate to have a drink? Should I get her a Christmas gift? Lol a little advice please!?

Anonymous · Answer

Hmm you don't have to drink unless you want to, and with that, I'd recommend sticking with one or two (and if she doesn't order a drink, I'd recommend not drinking too). As for a gift, totally not necessary unless that's the norm in your office. And for what to talk about, relax and see what she wants to discuss. If anything, ask her questions relating to how she got into the field you work in or about any hobbies or interests she has -- people love to talk about themselves!

Simply Curious · Answer

Having dinner with your boss is a great way to get out of the office atmosphere and mix some work conversations with some personal ones (but not too personal). I wouldn't overdue it with drinks but just go and have fun. Maybe you'll connect more than you thought you would!

Anonymous · Answer

I am probably not the world's friendliest manager but I will sometimes take employees I want to get to know better out to a meal or a coffee. I realize that this may make some people nervous so I am usually straight up in the beginning about the fact that I have no particular agenda. Hopefully your manager is also very transparent -- I would let her take the lead socially, and personally, I think its probably overkill to bring a gift. I think a single drink is ok but never get drunk in a workplace setting!

Alyson Garrido, Career Coach · Answer

Follow your boss's lead by way of lunch norms around drinking, number of courses, etc. Stick to topics that you wouldn't mind sharing with a large group of strangers, or have written about you in the newspaper. Those tests will ensure you don't overshare. Also, do your best to stay away from work topics and certainly avoid sensitive or contentious work issues. This lunch is a social way to catch up and, if she's not so friendly, you can get to know her better to create more meaningful connections. You'll get more of a glimpse into her world and what she cares about.

Anonymous · Answer

I agree with these folks, and I think outside of the office, she may be a bit friendlier! Maybe you can find some commonalities to bond over as well? Do you both like doing yoga? Did you go to the same college or belong to the same membership organizations? Those type of similarities can help break the ice!

Dinner with your boss?

You're invited.

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