I am a female frontend web developer who works on a fully remote team with eight other men (and one other woman). I started a new job about three months ago and have been growing more and more frustrated.
Technical onboarding was non-existent. I work on a complicated banking app and was assigned a complex feature after being there only three weeks. No one walked me through the important pieces so I would have a sense of where things are and how things are done.
Our team lead told me to ask questions in our Slack channel. I have asked many questions and half the time they don't get answered. During standup meetings, I've brought up my blockers and they don't get addressed (ie: no one comments or follows up to volunteer to help me get unstuck). I've pinged people directly. Sometimes they don't answer for two days. Sometimes they don't answer at all.
One colleague, when I asked him a question, told me he was going for lunch and he'd get back to me. He pinged me two hours later saying, "What's your problem?". English is his second language, so I considered it may have been a language barrier, but in his language, "C'est quoi ton problème" has the same aggressive tone to it. So, I felt uncomfortable and didn't ask him.
I've basically experienced over and over again needing someone to give me more information than what I have and not getting what I need.
Today I reached a boiling point when, after posting four times that I couldn't find what I needed, my team lead commented on my PR asking why it hadn't made any progress.
Part of this is just poor onboarding, lack of time, and poor organization. Part of it, though, is "dude bro" culture. I often feel shut down, overruled, and ignored while the dudes giggle amongst themselves and it's really getting to me.
What would you do? What would you say? I have a 1:1 with my lead in two weeks and I would like to present this in a succinct, professional way that has a better chance of being received as a way to improve, rather than as criticism.