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Help!
Good morning everyone, I need some advice. I suck at interviewing. I have social anxiety; I get very nervous, socially awkward and lose all confidence. I sweat through my clothes (nervous sweat). I rush through the interview so I answer my questions with incomplete thoughts. I do very well with phone interviews but in person and FaceTime I fall apart. This doesn’t limit me in my job performance because I’m really good at my job because I only chose positions I’m passionate about and that I feel like I could be the most impactful. It hasn’t always been this bad I feel like this is the worse it has gotten. When I’m comfortable with people I don’t have this problem at all. I don’t know if my condition progressed because of the pressure I put on myself to get back to work right away because I just moved to a new state and want this to work out. I get lots of interviews, just last week I did 7 and I bombed them all. I really need your advice.
Thank you in advance
SophieG
226
11/20/19 at 5:55PM UTC
I also want to give my tuppence worth on the what is your weakness question and answer. If someone said to me just interviewing I would think that was lame. Apologies! However if they said interviewing and that translates in the workplace to sometimes being not so good at presenting to large groups of people I don’t know then I would think ‘yes insightful‘
SophieG
226
11/20/19 at 5:52PM UTC
Check out the Amy Cuddy TED talk - c20mins. She gives some great ideas on how to prep your body language in a way that creates a positive feedback loop for adrenaline but prevents cortisol -the stress hormone.
You also could probably do with practising some mindfulness techniques. Firstly tuning into what is going on for you- the range of emotions you are feeling, and where you are feeling them. Usually the gut. Then imagine taking that emotion out of you, looking at it, acknowledging it, accepting it, putting it back. Bizarrely that process of acknowledging rather than fighting your anxiety can actually make it much more manageable
Donna MacdonaldWriting to a woman's heart...
223
11/20/19 at 1:33PM UTC
I think it is really important to get better at interviews. Practice is good and role play with friends. But keep a notebook of potential questions and your answers. Read often especially just before you go into the interview. And breathe....
Praeme Joseph
17
11/20/19 at 5:58AM UTC
Congratulations on getting the interviews! All the above ideas are great and I love the idea of "what is your weakness?" answer "interviewing." I never not hired someone because they appeared nervous. It showed me that they cared and were trying. I would definitely make sure you follow-up with the thank you email and note. Just keep practicing at job centers or with your headhunter and try with different people if possible. One last thing- they WANT to hire someone. And you already have one foot IN the door now that you have the interview. Let that be some comfort.
Danik
18
11/19/19 at 8:17PM UTC
Your local Job center (use to be unemployment office) should have free classes on interviewing which can be very helpful.
Amylithback in college, grown kids, no obstacles.
198
11/19/19 at 1:46PM UTC
I tell people outright that I am bad at interviewing. When they ask my weakness, I say "Job Interviews." I am not a sales person and I don't sell myself well, but I just flat out say so. I'm an accountant. I'm precise. I'm accurate. I am very good at my work. I make sure that's reflected in my documents (c.v./resume/any applications) with absolutely no grammar or spelling errors. I present myself the very best I can, and just plain say "I am not in sales for this very reason. I'm just not good at this." In my experience, most interviewers look at it two ways: 1. you're honest about your weakness and will speak up if things are going wrong in the job rather than hide your mistakes and 2. it takes the pressure off both sides from trying to keep up the pretenses.
Gillianne HetrickHR Manager & Non-Profit Director
426
11/19/19 at 2:31AM UTC
I don't have new advice than what is given, I will add that you are stronger than you know or believe. You can do this, you've got this, and using the advice given (practice, breathing, focus methods, etc.) you can absolutely find the right role for you.
Best of luck!
Sidepreneur Coach FabiOrganized Business. Happy Life.
17
11/19/19 at 12:25AM UTC
Hi! I really like all of the advice given above. And I also recommend NLP techniques. There are beliefs and images (not empowering fantasies) that show up in your head that are not really helping. I can help you practice or coach you on how to make those images dissapear. I am a licensed NLP practioner. You can find out more about me in www.linkedin.com/in/fabimeja
Best of luck!
Anonymous
11/18/19 at 10:51PM UTC
Here are the 3 things that have helped me in these situations:
1. Breathing. I do deep series of breaths as I'm waiting to enter the interview to relax and calm my nerves.
2. Prepare and practice. Go over some expected and standard questions, over and over. Talk about some of your accomplishments where appropriate. This will help remind you of the great work you've done and hopefully boost your confidence in those moments. Prep questions that you can also ask. Feeling prepared helps quell any nerves.
3. Understanding that nerves and anxiety are common and are totally expected. Acknowledge the nerves and do it anyway. Be present and tell yourself that you are going to be fine. You will.
Good luck to you! You've got this!
Charrington54
16
11/18/19 at 8:34PM UTC
I see this all the time! It is very common.
Obviously, not every hiring manager and recruiter will notice or cater to this. But one of the things that helps people calm down the most is being able to talk about something not related to the job. When you sit down and they say hello and introduce yourselves, I recommend, if it flows, ask about their weekend, or some other conversation to help get to know your interviewer as a person, outside of work. It takes just a minute or two but sometimes can help relieve that stress and humanize the whole interview.
But as others have said- practice helps!
Good luck, you will do great!
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