Sometimes (which I know I shouldn't) I feel envious.
Yes yes, that little green monster gets on my back sometimes and whispers rude things into my ear (like get another iced coffee -- 1 isn't enough a day).
I feel envious when I hear that others are having good news or progression in their job and I'm treading water. I love my job. I love subbing and working with the kiddos, and getting to know them. I love being their teacher and knowing that when I walk into the classroom that they respect me as I do them. But getting your foot in the door in education isn't always easy. It seems sometimes schools and districts would rather have a "good sub" than realize that I'm doing this not only for the experience of working in the district, but for a full time job as well. So sometimes... when I hear others good news of: "Hey! I got hired!" or "That promotion is mine!" I can get a little frustrated. Like I mentally face palm.
As women, especially as teachers in education, we should be building each other up. So I do my best to be happy for others. But I also know that ... it's okay to feel a little envious. As long as you don't go ruining other people's days and raining on their parade. Because let's face it, no one likes a negative Nelly. Letting the envy become you, and consume you isn't the goal. Allowing it to drive your ambition, and turn it into another reason to be motivated, is one way to see it. But there's another way to see it too.
Whenever I see the phrase: Let your haters be your motivators. I gotta admit sometimes I just roll my eyes. Because I'm in competition with no one other than myself. That's what it boils down to. I'm the one who contributes to my work every day, and my work ethic is mine alone to control. I shouldn't let the fact that someone else got promoted before me, or is getting a job before me bother me. Because she is probably in the same boat as me. Working and hustling just as hard as me too. So when that envious feeling comes to visit, I let it sit with me for a minute. Then I close my eyes, count to ten and breathe it out. Carrying it with me isn't going to do me any good. But that doesn't mean I'm not allowed to feel it. Acknowledging it for a minute is okay. What's important is not letting yourself hold onto it.
It's normal to feel envy and frustration -- it's a part of what makes us, well, us! Taking the time to breathe it out is key. It's what can help keep our mind clear so we can keep hustling, acknowledging accomplishments, and keep building each other up.