I saw a few posts about gaslighting recently on Fairygodboss, and it's made me question whether I'm being gaslit at work as well! I've been working with another team on a project and one of my coworkers keeps changing deadlines and project details — and waits to tell me until the last minute. When I don't get something done in time (because he's moved up the due date without much notice), I'm always the one at fault. When I complete something as we discussed, he's always critical and tells me I should have known to do it another way — even though we agreed on other details before.
Is this coworker gaslighting me? If so, how can I stand up to him without losing my responsibilities with this project?
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Seeking opinions about group interviews...
I had a virtual group interview this week. It was one interviewer and about 10 candidates. The job seekers were asked one question and each was asked to answer it one after another with no discourse in between.
I didn't feel that any candidates really stood out or made a significantly better impression than any others. (Except possibly me. I went last and was from a vastly different background than the other candidates-- and not in a great way.)
As a person who was been responsible for the hiring process at organizations in the past, I don't see how this was a valuable step for any of the parties. It seemed that the company just wanted to see everyone and appeared that it could be used in a discriminatory way.
I would be interested to hearing other's experiences with and opinions about group interviews.
At this point, I'm not sure I will accept any future interviews in this format.
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No signed Purchase Order for 2024 from a client for which I do subcontracting work yet – 1099 here
I posted before on this Forum " No ticky – no shirty" –I had an issue where the Purchase Order for a large client in 2023 for the firm for which I provide consulting services was delayed - which meant the firm could not submit an invoice to the client for me to get paid (Purchase Order # has to be included on the invoice) . 4 month delay in getting paid for consulting performed for which we did not have the PO.The PO is for the entire year and we chip away at it as we do consulting work.
To cover myself for 2024, I prepared a letter stating that I will provide consulting services to xxx for which a purchase order is required for xxx when a signed Purchase Order is received. The owner of the firm signed the letter (I think to placate me ). And in recent conversations I have stated, I cannot provide free work. I also suggested if she doesn’t get a signed PO, that her company pays me for the work performed.Here is where we are at: One hand doesn’t know what the other is doing at this large client. Owner asked them about the signed PO is…. as of 12/9/2023, she does not have a signed PO.. the PO is in “the works”
Here’s the question: We are down to the wire here. I know we will get the signed PO.., the client knows our value. but when, who knows? .with the Holidays upon us. . If she doesn’t get a signed PO by Jan 1 2024, do you think I should state AGAIN, I cannot provide consulting work without a signed PO and suggest that her company pay me UNTIL she gets the signed PO. I do not want to be in the same financial situation as last year.
PS. One thing I didn’t mention to this group is 5 years ago… she transitioned me from W2 to 1099 (benefit for her company). She knows how valuable I am.. Funny thing is the universe was supporting me last week when I presented a report to this client and they responded “ Thank you, you are awesome”. Timing is everything, right?
Thank you as always for your input.
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What does RTO or Hybrid look like at your company?
I was recently talking to an old peer and she mentioned that someone that we used to work with has to go back into the office 3 days a week, but a badge swipe is all she needs. So she can go to a meeting in the building for an hour and then leave. So that has me thinking what does it look like at other companies. I'll go first, GM Financial 3 days in office for officers and 2 days in office for non officers. Some folks don't come in at all. Some will do a half day for their in office days and weirdos like me work a full 8 hours but come in late.
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I was hoping to get some insight about some things that are going on at my job. I have been there for a year this October. I have been thru 3 GMs already and it seems that the latest one is there to stay. I have many aspirations of becoming a GM myself. And I would have never thought about even thinking of wanting to have my boss’s job. But I think I would be better than him. I know I would. Since he’s been there, there have been many changes. About a month after I started working there the regional manager gave me 2 raises because of my hard work. Then at the end of the year last year, I was promoted to supervisor/shift lead. And I was working about 50-55 hours a week. Keep in mind that we make most of our money off tips. Since this new GM has been there, I have lost almost all of my overtime hours, he is obsessed with labor percentages and he doesn’t take me seriously when I mention a raise or ask for a few more hours to make up some of the money I’ve lost. I’m his second hand and he always tells me he wouldn’t be able to run this restaurant without me. So I’m curious as to why he won’t reward me for all of my hard work? To everyone else there it’s just a job and a paycheck. But I’m there for the long haul. Like I stated earlier, I want to be the GM! We do have other locations but this is close to my home (and I don’t drive) and I LOVE IT THERE! I’m the only one who cares enough to stay the extra time every night to make sure EVERYTHING gets done and the right way. So that if my owner were to stop by our location (who lives blocks away) he would be extremely happy with how the place looks. I’ve also been the only one who has been decorating the place for the Christmas holiday. I put my heart and soul into this place. Should I go above my GMs head and talk to my regional manager about a raise? And when I do should I mention my concerns about my GM? There’s also been some unfairness involved in the scheduled. Remember I mentioned we get paid in tips…? There’s one employee who works double shifts on the busiest days of the week - 4 works hour days and 4 days off. I work SIX DAYS just make 43 hours. I am also nervous that if I go to my regional manager my GM will hear about it. Any advice?? I don’t want any animosity at work between my GM and I.
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I would like anyone’s insight who works in education.
For starters I substitute as a Paraeducator. I live in a small town and prior to subbing when my daughter was in school It felt either hostile or rumours are spreading. I was gone for 22 years. I will not commit to full time there as the culture is a hot mess. Nothing is confidential because everyone has family who works in the system. I went to another district for a few months last year and now back in new district. It seems as though I am black marked or someone spread a lie on the tip line. All staff in all schools trying to make me uncomfortable and say things to bait and switch. Giving me side eyes. Prompting other people to look at me discretely. I am also being followed because I see many employees in stores that I never did and I grew up with them. They pretend they don’t see me. Just off and bizarre behavior. They demean me and play a lot of mind games. Any tips or advice besides looking for a new job. Is this the culture? Are they Pushing me out? I am worried black marks on my name and i take pride in my reputation. I also find the behavior unethical and illegal but many of the teachers husbands are cops and sheriffs. One admin said the Principle husband she sends to follow employees who call out. It’s creeping me out.
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My latest "The Art of Finings Work" column:
"Nick, What Do You Look for in a Resume?"