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Becky Harborth
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551
Give me joy or give me…
10/13/20 at 8:46PM UTC
in
Career

Illegal Questions During Job Interview

I just finished an interview with a high profile employer and I am shocked. I had a virtual interview with the hiring manager. After a brief introduction, the first question she asked me was as follows: "Do you have a husband and children?". To say the least, I am astonished. I know there are certain instances where this is allowed, i.e. asking questions about one’s marital status makes perfect sense in a lot of professions, such as a feature writer for a periodical giving marital advice, but these questions have no bearing whatsoever on this position. I've been working in HR for some time and marital status and children were strictly off limits when I would interview candidates. Am I missing something here? Have the laws changed? Are there different laws in other states that prohibit asking these questions? I value your input. Thanks, a concerned job seeker.

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Sarah Stadtherr
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598
10/15/20 at 4:31PM UTC
One of my earliest jobs asked me if I was pregnant or planning to get pregnant. Even though I know they couldn't legally ask it, I hesitated a moment and told them no because I desperately needed that job. Turned out I must have gotten pregnant - literally - the first week or two I worked. I was a real problem for me because the baby was a "preexisting condition" when I qualified for insurance after 90 days. When asked illegal questions one has to weigh how much one wants the job. AFTER being hired, a person might point out that those questions are off limits. I did.
Becky Harborth
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551
Give me joy or give me…
10/15/20 at 12:55PM UTC
You are all great. Thanks. I have sent an email to the HR Director and also plan to put this information out on Glassdoor.
Becky Harborth
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551
Give me joy or give me…
10/14/20 at 2:13AM UTC
Thank you all for the great advice and comments. I plan to contact their HR and report that it happened so they don’t make the same mistake. I also will not be perusing this job any further.
Marie Gettel-Gilmartin
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21
Marketing, leadership and communications coach
10/14/20 at 1:39AM UTC
This question is illegal. Depending on if you actually want to work there, I would send an email to the HR director at the employer and let them know the question was asked. And then I would go on GlassDoor and report your experience. Completely unacceptable, and it sounds like they need some training!
Caitlin Rogers
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82
Business Owner in Minneapolis
10/14/20 at 1:10AM UTC
Red flag!! What a gift of a clear sign that this is not a good place to work.
Amy Elrod-Lahti
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519
HR Professional | Coach | Consultant/Advisor
10/13/20 at 11:38PM UTC
Nope, no, nada, nein, never is it appropriate in an interview context, even under the pretense of "small talk," to ask an interviewee about their marital or parental status. Like never ever ever should people do that. I am sorry you had this experience and don't have any explanation for it, other than that company needs to do a refresher training with people conducting interviews on allowable questions. In the past I have responded to interview questions that I knew to be illegal with a question: "Why do you need to know that?" Does it come across as a little abrasive? Sure. But I'm not answering their question unless they answer mine.
Sacha Seraydarian
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131
10/13/20 at 11:30PM UTC
Hello Becky! I am so sorry that you had to experience this. It is stressful enough interviewing for a new role during a pandemic, and then to have an illegal question come up that you so eloquently managed. Congratulations, I hope you are patting yourself on the back for that! This is certainly a no-no, and I have been asked all sorts of illegal questions as an HR leader during interviews: Am I married, do I have children, what is my ethnic background, how old am I..the list goes on. Based on the responses, it seems this is unfortunately common place....I wonder if men get the same questions with as much frequency? You mentioned you are in HR...were you interviewing for a role where they would need your expertise on topics like this? Wondering if that is why the role is open, they need someone like you to coach them on topics like this. If this isn't the case, I am with the Anonymous poster who mentioned that this is a ? ! With this being a direct manager....I would really hesitate on moving forward in the interview process, and if you are comfortable provide feedback on your experience.
Emily Lancaster
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21
10/13/20 at 10:08PM UTC
I would go politician and answer the question by not answering the question. Keeping in mind that most people talk for themselves and not for others (even in an interview), I always try to get the interviewer talking about themselves. If asked point blank, I’d try turning it around to talk about how I like to manage. “Regardless of my own situation, an effective manager is managing for every stage of a persons life. You can’t just assume people are going to be uncomplicated, and so I try to remember that knowing how to successfully navigate means.... blah blah blah.” You get the idea.
Anonymous
10/14/20 at 1:33PM UTC (Edited)
Becky- Wow. That is not at all appropriate. It is it even legal? I believe if someone asks questions like this in an interview, the company is exposed to possible accusations of gender/sexual-orientation discrimination. It is possible that the manager forgot, but I do think it raises a huge red flag regardless. Someone in a leadership position should be well-informed and mindful of how a question like that is inappropriate in an interview. I have myself been asked similar questions in interviews, and retrospectively, I wish I had responded simply with an assertion that I was uncomfortable answering the question. I know firsthand how disturbing it can be to encounter something like this. Pay attention to your instincts here, because it may really signal some serious workplace dysfunction. Good Luck!
Anonymous
10/13/20 at 9:31PM UTC
Wow, that is completely inappropriate and a no-no in HR/legal terms. Sounds like you did a great job dodging the question. This could be a red flag about this potential employer on many levels. Best of luck!

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