The deal-breaking interview mistake that cost me the job

I'm highly interested in this position and expressed this to my manager a month ago, asking if I could shadow one of the team members in that position to learn more. My manager stated we would review at our meeting (which is tomorrow). Thoughts?

If so, any tips would be highly appreciated.

It is a very stressful environment due to my boss being a type AA manager. She is constantly expecting us to read her mind and try and understand what she wants us to do. She does not communicate well. When she is out on vacation we never have any stress. She makes a lot of us feel inept and we can't do our jobs. I have never worked in a department where no one wants to be there (6 of us). I know there are jobs out there I am torn between applying for a new job and staying there but I feel that because of my age I won't get any responses. Any advice?

I no longer feel valued. PS our CEO is a woman.

If the latter, did you consider that she was "seeking" your counsel or opinion? That could be viewed a a compliment. The more important question in my mind is why did this inquiry bother you? Enough so, as to post about it on social media? It may be worth your time to look inward on this topic. I am very serious. Obviously, I don't know you and therefore I don't know your history and experience. You may have been in situations that were unpleasant and left you feeling victimized? I am giving you the benefit of the doubt .... but only you can honestly answer that question. What I do know is this is a sensitive subject for you and it is worth examining further for your own well being and growth. Consider this, even if this inquiry was motivated from some racial agenda, you will never change that by complaining to HR. If this situation was clearly racist or discrimatory you would "know it". Your position isn't being threatened by this recruiter. But how you handle could be. I am NOT suggesting that you sit down and shut up either. In the future, I recommend when you have an emotional reaction to a situation you examine your response 1st, that you extend graces to the other people involved and assume the best possible intentions. There is absolutely no reason why you couldn't have asked the recruiter to explain her reason for asking this question. It could have been an "opportunity" for you to educate the recruiter. This might have been resolved right then. One caution I will offer. We all tend to seek out those individuals that will support our point of view whether that be friends, family or even other co-workers. Be careful because these people will rarely be unbiased, after all they are YOUR friends, family and co-workers, and therefore cannot necessarily provide honest or accurate feedback. I recommend in these type of situations professional guidance is a wise move. They will help you problem solve through the process and better prepare you for the future, whether that means understanding that all ppl are capable of making unintended gifts when it comes to race and culture or that this is a serious in fraction that needs reported. Good luck.

I took the meeting as I need a job and wanted to give myself options but the more I spoke to HR, I could envision myself at the company. This is the throwing me for a loop as although it's technically in the same industry, it's not an avenue I would have explored otherwise. The other companies are more aligned where I thought my career was headed but this surprising twist is making me reconsider my options. I'm a big believer not to get ahead of myself and keep interviewing until receiving an offer but the new company is moving faster than the others. All three roles that start in January and I'm hoping that one of them leads to an offer but this twist is having me consider a new direction.