© 2022 Fairygodboss. All rights reserved.
What happened to "We're all in this together" ?
In my brief time on this website, almost every interaction I've had has been a rude attack, mostly by women older than me, telling my that their hardships are worse than mine, therefore mine don't matter. I am appalled at the privilege some women refuse to recognize.
I'm posting this anonymously because I am genuinely afraid of further attacks by these hurtful women. We are all here together, fighting against sexism in the workplace. Some of us are fighting against homophobia, transphobia, and racism as well. All of our hardships are not equal, but they are all important, and tearing each other down is not helping anyone.
I'm thinking of deleting my account here, I've found nothing but catty fights and petty comments. This is supposed to be a place where we support each other. What happened?
Elena Rogers
Senior Payment Rep. From DETROIT
79
06/03/20 at 5:17PM UTC
I apologize as well just in case I ever was one to be catty and have attacked your point of view on any issue. Never do I want to be a part of oppressing anyone and belittling someone for having an opinion that is different from my own.✌??
Anonymous
06/02/20 at 7:23PM UTC
I just found these comment threads today. I may not agree with all commenters - either content or tone, but it does seem like most people want to be helpful / sympathetic. I think your post will help people evaluate what they want to say and how it will be perceived. Thank you for speaking your truth!
Linda Chateauneuf
63
06/02/20 at 4:36PM UTC
I have to chime in here as well, as an older woman. I was just talking with a friend today and we were saying that we hoped that our knowledge (maybe wisdom?) made us more compassionate as we got older because we have come to better understand was is important and what isn't. I also hope your experience improves. We all can keep learning.
LEANNE TOBIASInvestment real estate/sustainability
4.1k
06/02/20 at 12:07AM UTC
As yet another older woman on this site, I hope that I’ve not been one of the offenders.
I’m a little surprised that you’ve experienced such treatment, because I’ve found that FGB’ers are typically warm and compassionate to people of all ages.
I hope your experience improves.
Barb HansenStartup Product, Growth & Strategy
6.67k
06/01/20 at 8:35PM UTC
I'm sorry that you have been treated rudely and attacked.
As another older woman (55 years old) and I hope that I was not someone who you felt attacked you.
I have never attacked anyone on this forum or any online forum (well, truth be told, I did not so nicely remind a youngish man, who told me it was my fault that I was paid less than a man in an equal job during the 80s and 90s, that he needed to do some research before he came at me)
I also try to be aware to not lace my comments with "back in my day"-type wording unless it's germane to the subject and even then I try to couch those comments as a "here is another way to think about subject-A based on my experience" comment not a lecture.
I have had mostly good interactions, although I was "attacked" once by someone one this board (no one should be attacked on this type of forum, and this person completely missed what I was saying in my comment and just went in on me (all caps telling me to "check myself before I talked" or something like that. I tried to not take it personally because this person also went after others in the comment chain. I didn't report this person, perhaps I should have. Next time, I will.
Please don't leave us - we all benefit from your voice.
Laney BalisREALTOR® @ Align Right Realty Riverview
347
06/01/20 at 8:11PM UTC
Hi - I am so sorry you experienced this on this site. It makes me sad that anyone would behave that way. With all that is going wrong in our country/world right now you would think people, especially women would have more compassion for others. We all struggle with things in life but we need to remember that everyone does and our struggles should not be taken out on someone else. I hope you decide to stay here. If there is a way to report that horrible, uncalled for behavior, I personally would.
Akeba RiceStrategist & Connector in the Dental Biz
221
06/01/20 at 7:59PM UTC
This is an opportunity for all of us on here to “think before replying “. We are here to support and celebrate each other. We all have our own paths and should be respectful of everyone’s journey. It is important to think about how our words effect others even if we are trying to help. Let’s do better together ladies!
Deb HornerEducating children with cognitive disabilities
908
06/01/20 at 7:37PM UTC
As one of the older women on this board (I'm 64), I sincerely hope that nothing I said was perceived to be hurtful. I have been an ally and advocate since my days in grad school, because I've always felt that some of us have struggled far less than others. I do believe that women often share their own struggles to let you know that you aren't the only one experiencing negativity. I worked in a toxic environment for 10 years because I knew I was supposed to be there to help and support the clients there. However, when another opportunity presented itself, I walked away without a backward glance. Only you can determine what is right for your circumstances. I am more than willing to listen, share and/or support if asked.
Anonymous
06/01/20 at 6:49PM UTC
Hi, to the Original Poster: Kindly stay-with your account a little longer, to see if the level of conversation and commentary improve. I, also (but I'm quite old :)) have had knee-jerk commentary leveled at me, as if everything is a competition! Each of us has a very different perspective on the world of work outside the home, depending on whether we are front-line workers or supervisors. In general, though, with the short-time I've been on this website, my concern is similar to yours, and even constructive criticism needs to be carefully worded. Please flag anything aggressive, so the site can improve. Thanks for your help making these improvements.
Cheryl Sherpinski
44
06/01/20 at 6:25PM UTC
I am sorry that older women have made you feel that your problems are less significant then theirs. I try not to post a lot because being a single female with no entanglements ( children, SO or family locally) & having worked 40+ hours during the lock down I have very little to contribute. Yes I lost both my full-time jobs just before the COVID-19 hit (40 hr /week & 24 hr/week). I was only off for a week before I was placed in my current position via a temp service.
I went from making $700/wk to $500/wk; I did get some perks from my 40 hr/wk job when I was' voluntarily terminated' ( PTO & 4 wk severance pay). I am still single and do not have a second person's income if I am unemployed. I am still not in my current job as an employee so no insurance or benefits.
All of us have a different path and would hope that we give each other grace and understanding.
© 2022 Fairygodboss. All rights reserved.