Identify crisis during Covid

Before Covid, I was entertaining the idea of embracing a more flexible work arrangement on an ad-hoc basis, a couple of days working from home a month... so why is it that now during Covid I am struggling with the work from home arrangement?!! From self reflection, I realize it boils down to several factors and the identity crisis within me.... I never wanted to be a stay at home mom and felt that the working balanced my mom activities... When I came home I was ready to unplug and immerse myself in all mom activities. I am grateful for the time at home during Covid to spend so much time with my kids (and husband) and know that it is precious time I will never get back. The guilt settles in.... I know I am one of the lucky ones who is not an essential worker and has a career that offers me the flexibility and support network and the leadership and community of women at work have been outstanding. I know I should be grateful -- that does not remove the underlying feelings and the mere exhaustion of not having a break or escape... The reality came to me though as part of my own self-reflection and that it wasn't necessarily the lack of balance that was upsetting me but the transfer of power. I have been married for quite some time and have a wonderful husband and partner and he has been trained to pull his weight around the household and support dinners and kid activity duty. During a time in which I am staying home practically 100% of the time and he is in an industry that is considered essential and the workload has been exploding, I realized that I was resentful for the traditional stereotypes and the division of labor that was setting in. It was easier for me to take on dinners everyday and the traditional responsibilities because I am home. I have been battling my self identity and the re-establishing the self value that is usually attributed to those who leave the household to earn their keep. I share this with you as a real example of the internal struggle I have felt and the difficult in relaying this in my social community when people respond with 'you're so lucky' or 'you have the best of both worlds". If any of you are feeling the same, I empathize and don't pretend that I have all the answers. I do know that in a world in which we are all putting our best selves forward, I want to share my insecurities and vulnerabilities so that I may be an anchor for another struggling woman, professional or mother... When i see a self deprecating post on FB or other social media, I respond with 'you got this.. you're a great mom' or another post of encouragement... We need to rally and support each other...