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Is being nice a good thing at the workplace?
My manager told me that I am being way too nice to colleagues and that this may not be great for my professional growth and career.
This observation came up when I was talking to my manager about a conversation I had with a new recruit and I was showing her the ropes of the organization.
Is being nice a weakness?
Chloe Bass
Technical Advisor and Certified Coach
61
09/25/20 at 8:29PM UTC
I love working with nice people! If possible, I'd go back to your manager to get a better idea of what quality they think you should be demonstrating instead of "nice".
If it's something like fighting for your ideas more or setting firm boundaries so you're not stuck with others' work or "office housework", then great - work on that.
If your boss suggests qualities that do not feel appropriate or authentic to you, like rudeness or intolerance, then don't take that advice on - just be mindful of how this might affect your working relationship with your boss and your career trajectory within your company. When it comes to things like this, I believe in the long run, it's better to be true to yourself and live by your values.
Quennieyoung and in my exploration stage
116
09/25/20 at 2:23PM UTC
Try to look at it this way: there should be a balance between being kind and generous, and on letting people learn on their own. Based on my experience while it is good to ask questions and ask for help from kind and generous officemates, there are things you only learn on your own feet, and sometimes thru mistakes and failures.
Carol OsorioSenior Director
14
09/25/20 at 3:32AM UTC (Edited)
In my past career, I also got the same feedback from a male peer who I know is genuinely concern about me. We are obviously different in a lot of ways so understanding his perspective is also important to me. I asked for critical incidents on when my kindness was perceived as weakness. This helped me processed and really balance the “weak” perception.
I honestly think that being nice and pleasant to work with have brought me to where I am.
Lisa HornungWriter and editor in Louisville, Ky.
88
09/24/20 at 1:03PM UTC
I 100% believe that being nice has gotten me everything in my career. People know me in my city and in my field because I try to be nice and genuine in my interactions (and I actually really enjoy meeting and talking to people), and because of that nearly every job I've gotten has been from someone recommending me. Being nice will take you much further than being mean or dismissive.
Nobody wants to work with a jerk!
Anonymous
09/24/20 at 1:06AM UTC
Being nice is not a weakness; however, if others are taking advantage of your kindness and dumping their work on you. You need to set boundaries if your being taken advantage of. Empathy and kindness are in demand skills essential to leading virtual teams.
Liz F CallahanCreator + Maker + Manifester
21
09/23/20 at 5:01PM UTC
This is so crazy. I think the two best things to do at any job is be reliable and kind. Who cares what that person thinks - You sound like someone I would love working with! Keep being your best self!
Melissa NobileHandbell Choir Director
1.05k
09/23/20 at 1:15PM UTC
I’d much rather be known for being a kind, considerate, and empathetic hard worker than anything else.
Cathy ColliverMarketing & MBA
199
09/23/20 at 11:36AM UTC
Fran Hauser wrote a really interesting book about this that I found useful: http://www.franhauser.com/nicegirl They Myth of the Nice Girl - achieving a career you love without becoming a person you hate - it's about how you can embrace it instead of feeling like it makes you a "pushover."
Chrissy Jenkins“Elevating everything we do!”
55
09/23/20 at 10:58AM UTC
I fervently believe that good leaders are also “caretakers” of their teams. As a leader, it’s my job to ensure that team members have everything they need to be successful in their roles. Being kind is part of that “caretaking.” When my team knows I have their back, they are free to take risks that may move our business forward in unexpected ways!
Annetta MosesConsumer Insights and Strategy Leader
1.31k
09/23/20 at 3:27AM UTC
Based on you saying your manager gave you feedback that you were too nice, I want to believe your manager wants to help you. However the definition of nice is pleasant and agreeable.
Did you manager observe something that you did and not appropriately describe your behavior. Perhaps was the employee maki g errors and you didn't provide clear and critical correction to the employee? I suggest you let you manager know that you appreciate his willingness to provide feed and that you want clarity about his comment. Perhaps he could tell you the behavior that you did and suggest another behavior that would be more appropriate.
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