I've already made up my mind to leave

13 Comments

1. AnonymousFebruary 19,2024 at 2:22PM UTC

   Take the meeting as if you’re staying.
   You never know what could happen in the meantime or if you will get a new role right away and make goals as if you are staying just in case. It’s not a waste it’s his job and it’s just a meeting don’t feel guilty.

2. AnonymousFebruary 19,2024 at 2:26PM UTC

   You haven't accepted another role yet, so I recommend you proceed as you normally would until you do.

3. AnonymousFebruary 19,2024 at 2:40PM UTC

   Try to use this discussion as a "non-exit" interview. You can talk about where you see yourself going within the company you're at now. If there's disagreement on that, get as much clarity as to what needs to happen to get you there. If the discussion becomes a "Improve or else" conversation I'd keep job searching as discreetly as possible.

4. AnonymousFebruary 19,2024 at 2:46PM UTC

   When I have this discussion with staff, part of it is to understand if their goals still align with the position. If not, I start flexing tasks around to help them build the resume they need for their next jump. Either way, you'll be there at least a few more months and you need goals for that time period so might as well set them

5. AnonymousFebruary 19,2024 at 3:03PM UTC

   Do not ever admit you are looking for the exit until the day you have a signed offer in hand. Then give two weeks' notice.

   I'm a supervisor. I have good relationships with my team members, so if they told me they were looking for the exit, I would take it in stride and encourage them. My job is to grow them and I don't want anyone who is not engaged.

   It doesn't sound like you have that same type of relationship with your manager. The company is not your friend, HR is not your friend. Do not give them a whiff of an idea that you are out of there unless there's something they can realistically do to make things better. I believe if this was the case, you would have already had the conversation of what you are looking for, not waiting until annual review.

   Do your job, what you are paid for, as best as you can. Do this until the last minute you leave. Give two weeks' notice, be of good value those last weeks.

   Your manager is not wasting her/his time by conducting a goals meeting--it's part of their job. Just do it, as if you were staying. Worry about yourself, not them.

6. Erica MitchellFebruary 19,2024 at 3:04PM UTC

   If your manager wants to discuss goals with you, then I would work towards them while you are there. Who knows? You may change your mind. I would just let the discussion take place personally.

7. AnonymousFebruary 19,2024 at 3:37PM UTC

   As others have said, this could be a chance for you to let them know what your goals are. You never know, but the conversation could allow for the position to pivot close enough for you to want to say. That is an invaluable quality in an employer to help employees mold their positions into things that keep them engaged with the company and its mission. If your desires and goals are too far from what the company's are, you can then leave with no regrets.

8. AnonymousFebruary 19,2024 at 4:02PM UTC

   It's not a waste of his time since that's how he already planned on using it. Unless you plan on going in and being like 'hey, I'm leaving soon' there's no way for him to know you're looking to leave. You should go through the meeting as if you aren't planning on leaving. Especially if you still have a couple of months there.

9. AnonymousFebruary 20,2024 at 1:26PM UTC

   Just go with it. Too bad. There is no loyalty anymore especially from employers. Do you and don't give a whiff that you are looking and when you do find the role, don't post about it or tell anyone from your former job.

10. AnonymousFebruary 20,2024 at 1:28PM UTC

    Play the game until you’re ready to move on. Take the meeting, draft the plans and goals, search and interview silently in the background.

11. AnonymousFebruary 20,2024 at 1:30PM UTC

    When you do leave, the professional thing to do is help plan for succession and make sure that projects are set. Some of this goal setting will likely reflect larger company needs and goals. You’ll need to be planning for what will need to be handed off when you go.

12. AnonymousFebruary 20,2024 at 4:14PM UTC

    Here's a generally good piece of advice to fit this situation: if you aren't ready yet to give your notice that you are leaving, then behave as if you are staying. It suits you better to finish strong than to be a someone "dialling it in" until they leave - for whatever reason. Even if it's a workplace where you were not treated well, you look like the bigger person if you participate in everything right to your last day. Good luck!

13. AnonymousFebruary 20,2024 at 8:00PM UTC

    Take notes in the meeting, so that it will seem as though you do care about things. Don't say much and just absorb. When you leave then you can share feedback directed at the why you left which may or may not align with what they want you to do or not do. Worst case you gain info about the next few weeks or months there. You can add that to your resume as you leave.