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Anonymous

09/25/20 at 8:31PM UTC

Diversity & Inclusion

What does being an "ally" mean to you?

My company has started more formal Diversity and Inclusion training, and the term "ally" is in almost every training session. How do you use the term "ally" and what does it mean to you? To me, being an ally is not just supporting others, but rather actively working to make them feel respected and included. Would love to hear your thoughts and how you use the term "ally" — both at work and in your personal life!

Join the conversation...

Anonymous

10/01/20 at 10:08PM UTC

An ally in it's best form is a best friend or a parent. They want what's best for you, period. No questions, no qualifications, no barriers. They want to act in your interest, not in the interest of a system that holds underrepresented people back. They're willing to stick their neck out for you. They check themselves on a regular basis, learning the blind spots of their identity group and working around it. In it's worst form, it's a person who says "I'm an ally" and stops there.

Sibil Sebastian Patri

10/01/20 at 6:33PM UTC

I am going to paraphrase someone that just spoke to my company about this subject. • Ally-ship is a verb: if you are an ally you have to do something. The question is what can you do. There are different types of allies. There can be a confidante who is listening to peoples' experience and understand it better. A sponsor - when it comes to promotions and pay raises, the people who can decide on that. Scholar - very knowledgeable abt racism. Someone who calls out wrongs - call it out and say "you shouldn't be saying that" - Everybody needs to be an ally if you want to improve DEI across our business.

Vivian

White House Presidential Innovation Fellow

09/30/20 at 9:08PM UTC

Within my team and in my own diversity & inclusion practice, I've been working on transitioning from an "allyship" mindset to an "accomplice" mindset. I love the subtleties of the word "accomplice" and how it sets a slightly different, but very impactful perspective. It's really just about taxonomy here, but I like that "accomplice" encourages us to think differently. 1. An accomplice is in a supporting role. Sometimes the word "ally" puts the individual front and center instead of person being affected. It's important to put the affected person's voice front and center, and an accomplice is there to support that person. 2. It implies proactive action. I think a lot of allyship training and discussion has caused us to think of allyship as being reactive. Someone says something insensitive, and an ally speaks up. An accomplice is someone who does that AND is actively working to dismantle the racist, sexist, ableist, etc. structures that cause discrimination in the first place. 3. Tied back to #1, an "accomplice" offers less opportunity to be self-serving and more opportunity to actively engage for the betterment of others. It's not about patting yourself on the back for speaking up, but critically thinking about how you might be complicit in unconscious bias and thinking of how you might serve others who need you. Accomplice or ally, we need more people who are willing to do the legwork so that everyone has the opportunity to thrive and experience joy. Love the amazing discussion on here and so happy to see this as a topic on Fairgodboss!

Shawn M. Pelletier

Certified Diversity Professional

09/30/20 at 7:55PM UTC

Bravo to all of you. The collection of thoughts helps to paint the picture of what "Ally" means. I also like to use the word "allyship", like mentorship or sponsorship because its an ACTION word, and it needs tending too. Another difference is, being an ally is easy to stay in a listening, support, or guiding role. The role of Allyship raises the bar because it requires action (ex. stepping in, stepping up, speaking up, collecting the voices, engaging, implementing, etc.). From my own experience, I view it as more of a commitment which is often taken more seriously.

Krista Haugner Sieg, MBA

741

FairyGodBoss In Training. D & I Advocate.

09/29/20 at 9:08PM UTC

First - thank you for posting this critical topic and getting the conversation going! Second - Claudia, Linda, Alyson, and Liz - you have all shared beautifully. When I think of being an ally, I think about using where I have privilege or influence to help amplify or introduce the voices of others who don't have the same privileges. How am I helping others get a seat at the table? How am I helping us all rise? To me, being an ally is also about willingness to never stop learning. There are some experiences I will never live first hand, but that shouldn't stop be from learning from those who have had those experiences and listening to understand what I can do in the future to help apply pressure to change the tide. When I asked a friend for advice on how I can make an impact, she told me to keep doing some of the things I am doing - such as to continue to talk to my children about all the people I work with around the globe, so they grow up appreciating how wonderfully different people can be. (She urged me not to try to raise "color blind" children but instead to focus on embracing those differences.) And then she challenged me to speak up where my privilege allowed me the advantage to speak where hers might not. So, that is the challenge I share with you all as well. How are you embracing the beauty in our differences? And, are you speaking up when others cannot?

Liz Guhl

Executive Assistant in Chicago

09/29/20 at 7:15PM UTC

My management team and I recently read this article on How to Be an Ally as a Person with Privilege and it was great! http://www.scn.org/friends/ally.html What I really took away from it was that allies need to do a lot of quiet, internal work deconstructing their world views and the negative things we've all been taught. Being an ally requires self-examination and a willingness to go against people who share our privilege and with whom we are expected to group ourselves.

Alyson Garrido, Career Coach

447

Job Search and Career Advancement

09/29/20 at 7:10PM UTC

For me, being an ally means learning first and knowing that I am coming from a place of privilege. Considering how I can use my privilege to bring in voices that aren't at the table and advocate where appropriate. I recently went through the book Me and White Supremacy and learned a lot. The author, Layla F. Saad also has a great podcast, The Good Ancestor. They have been useful resources as I find ways to be an ally.

Anonymous

09/27/20 at 3:23AM UTC (Edited)

It’s being 100% meritocratic and neutral in decision making and advocacy for hiring and promotions. Don’t hire or advocate for your friend or someone who looks like you. Do it strongly if they deserve it. I can’t tell you how many people think they are allies but ultimately end up supporting their (generally white male) friends at work.

Linda Grace Solis

423

Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion Champion

09/27/20 at 3:15AM UTC

As someone who has been working in equity, inclusion, and social justice for years, I agree with Claudia - one doesn’t just become an ally by declaring oneself as such. An ally is someone who is not of the “marginalized” (pardon the word) population but who is putting something at risk on behalf of that population. One cannot be an ally if one remains safe in one’s bubble of skin-color/gender/sex/religious/whatever privilege. I agree with Claudia too that an ally’s role is to make room at the table for members of the “marginalized” population - speaking up until it’s time to listen. I love that! And finally, being an ally isn’t about ME. It’s about what I can do to support and bring justice and equity to people in the “marginalized” population. If you’re in it just because you think it makes you look good or cool or whatever, you’re in it for the wrong reasons.

Claudia

667

Current events call for adapting new solutions.

09/25/20 at 11:16PM UTC

This is a term I feel gets used far too liberally as one of those things people feel sounds good. But the problem is, you can't really declare yourself an ally - the people who you are allying with can. Being an ally means being a voice, but only until it's time to stop talking. If my voice is more likely to be heard, I will speak to include someone who is not - and stop talking when they are able to speak. Basically, you are support. If people open doors for you, hold them open for people who normally would not have that door opened for them - or worse, who might have it slammed.