How to be more supportive

I just had a video interview and the gentleman I would be working the most with asked if I was a quick learner. I told him I believe that I am. His response was "I guess everyone needs to say that. I don't like to answer questions more than twice." My response was "Well, it's a good thing I like to take notes" and I showed him my note pad I had been scribbling in since the begining of the interview . We laughed it off but... I'm thinking this might not be the best learning environment. Some background about the company: it was started in the 90s and the same 6 people who started it are still working there today. Some of their systems are so old that they are no longer supported by the manufacturer. I would be replacing a person who wants to start their retirement.

Just over a year ago I got a new boss. She came in strong and made some changes that a lot were not happy with. She claims to be holding people accountable but she’s really just pointing the finger and persecuting everyone for their mistakes. There are a lot more details behind the situation that I can’t share but I have made two lengthy complaints to HR and an anonymous report to our ethics board. Going to her boss would mean speaking to the president of the division and I’m not sure I’m comfortable with that. One of my direct reports has quit because of her and I am also looking for other employment. Several others have stated the same (which was shared with HR). I feel as if I’ve done my due diligence for my team but nothing is being done above me.

I recently lost my contract job and have had to start the applying and interview process again UGH! Anyway, have a second interview with a company for a position that I’m over qualified for and will be making a lot less money. The second interview is where I have to do a presentation followed by questions. Not thrilled by no issues. What I am annoyed with is having to send them my presentation in advanced. I was more prepared to just take over the screen and present. Why do companies feel that they can ask for your work and possibly use a later date. It is bad enough when you are asked questions about a past project that the company may also be considering and want to know your ideas and processes on how you accomplished it. (You see them writing down notes during this specific conversation), and not call you back for the next stage of interview. So of course going to put in pdf, no notes, and password protect which is about all that can be done. Just needed to get this off my chest

While I appreciate the employee's personal challenges, you both have roles that need to be performed for the company. I actually am sensing some manipulation by the employee and you stepped straight into it. If she is messaging you on Facebook, that means that you probably added her as a personal friend. It sounds like potential manipulation lured you into blurring boundaries that could set you up for a challenging situation down the road particularly if her performance is not up to par. It is possible to be an empathetic leader while also maintaining appropriate workplace boundaries. Many people today are going through different types of struggles. The balance is in finding humanity while also having realistic expectations of them to perform their role and being clear on the boundaries. It's fantastic the employee is in therapy but therapy is not something to be weaponized for poor performance. Incredibly, there's nothing in this long post about how this employee is actually performing their job. I think more of your time should be spent on helping her achieve career goals versus getting into her personal situation about which you only hear one side. I found that it's best to maintain professional boundaries especially with someone who reports to you. If you decide to be friends after one of you leaves the job, that's completely fine. But while you're on the job, situations like this are fraught with landmines.

What types of rewards and recognition have you found to be most effective for increasing employee engagement and commitment to the organisation?

Some of the posters are so nice and supportive…and others just want to tear women down! It’s so incredibly sad. I keep reading things and wonder if the person would respond the same way if they were speaking in-person. Maybe keep scrolling if you can’t be civil and constructive?