Toxic workplace. Help!

Question

I am currently working for a privately owned country club, and while I thought it would be a great way to unwind and take a sidestep, it has created more work and stress than before! I have 3 reports from ownership that have no real concept of the business and I have a coworker that does her best to throw me under the bus constantly. I took the position thinking I could Segway into a different, more elevated career but at every step I am put down and drug through a drama filed event. My boss is so involved with ownership I can’t speak with her candidly and we have no real HR. I’ve been trying to move on but times are tough right now and now they want to burden myself and another coworker with assisting in getting said bus driver coworker let go. It’s a nightmare and I dread work daily!

Jackie Ghedine · Answer

While you're still there, it's important to find a way to separate yourself from the emotional turmoil that is happening.  Understanding you won't be able to change their behaviors, it's time to focus on how to shift the way you respond to them.

If you know you are going to leave (just working on opportunities) then shift your mindset this way.  When something happens, think to yourself, this is dysfunctional but I'm not going to allow these people to drag me into that dysfunction.   When we are so emotionally invested, it's difficult to see that we can relinquish the control the situation has over our moods.  Practice providing space between the situation that would get you upset with your response and see if you can consciously decide to feel something different.

This is a practice but one that can help during tumultuous times.  Good luck.

Kelli · Answer

Hi Ashley - DeLisa mentioned evaluating your options and exit strategy which I agree with. This is the perfect time to try and figure out exactly what you actually want to be doing. Try not to just look for another job just to have one, but rather, take steps to determine what would be a more purposeful and fulfilling position. Then, create a plan to search for jobs like that. Knowing you're working toward leaving will help you get through each day. I'm happy to talk with you further and be a sounding board if that would be helpful.

DeLisa Dawkins · Answer

It is imperative to maintain your sanity and mental health in any career you choose. Evaluate your options and exit strategy, then move forward.

Anonymous · Answer

I had to walk away from a toxic job that was affecting my marriage. I thought I could transition into a more substantial role within the company, but eventually, I had to cut my losses. My marriage was more important than the job. Times are tough, yes. Unless you are desperate for the income, no job is worth your sanity.

cms1234 · Answer

Ashley, first so sorry this is your experience.  If you're asking us should you move on?  I would say yes.  If you're asking how to change the environment? I personally don't think you can.  You can take on some of these great hints to help you stay strong until your next career move.  You are a professional stuck with nightmare co-workers.  Jen is correct: if it's a toxic environment, it's not worth the stress.  Trust us --- we all found out hard way at one point or another.  Next position?  Bet you'll find it fabulous!

Dede Roan · Answer

I have been there as well and a toxic environment impacts one's entire life. This is a learning experience where you now see that feeling comfortable with the values of the work environment where you spend your workday is imperative as well as trusting and feeling good about the people. This is a time to reflect and perhaps journal on your values so you own them. This will help you when you start to look for a new job and hopefully soon. This is a tough environment but being around people you like and who are ethical and who align well with your values is critical. I think this is a time where compassion and ethics is able to be found since it's a reflexive time.

Lena · Answer

It is unfortunate to be in a toxic environment. I've been there. It is very difficult to change it. I tried fit in. I tried to change it. I tried to find a new job. That was the sequence I went through. It is too hard on my health to put up  with toxicity. I hate to give the advice to leave because I hated to hear it but it is actually the best advice.

Sarah Hong · Answer

I'm so sorry that you're going through this. It helps to assess what your threshold is for these sort of situations. If it's bringing you more stress than satisfaction, it might be time to move on. Obviously, it's easier said than done, but setting a goal may help and it feels like you're working towards something better.

Jen Ferguson · Answer

If it’s a toxic environment it’s not worth the stress. Protect your mental health.

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