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Ashly_ols
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28
06/29/20 at 4:47AM UTC
in
Career

Toxic workplace. Help!

I am currently working for a privately owned country club, and while I thought it would be a great way to unwind and take a sidestep, it has created more work and stress than before! I have 3 reports from ownership that have no real concept of the business and I have a coworker that does her best to throw me under the bus constantly. I took the position thinking I could Segway into a different, more elevated career but at every step I am put down and drug through a drama filed event. My boss is so involved with ownership I can’t speak with her candidly and we have no real HR. I’ve been trying to move on but times are tough right now and now they want to burden myself and another coworker with assisting in getting said bus driver coworker let go. It’s a nightmare and I dread work daily!

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Dede Roan
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92
Educator
07/03/20 at 11:37PM UTC
I have been there as well and a toxic environment impacts one's entire life. This is a learning experience where you now see that feeling comfortable with the values of the work environment where you spend your workday is imperative as well as trusting and feeling good about the people. This is a time to reflect and perhaps journal on your values so you own them. This will help you when you start to look for a new job and hopefully soon. This is a tough environment but being around people you like and who are ethical and who align well with your values is critical. I think this is a time where compassion and ethics is able to be found since it's a reflexive time.
Kelli
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1.46k
Helps senior-level women make career changes
06/30/20 at 12:04PM UTC
Hi Ashley - DeLisa mentioned evaluating your options and exit strategy which I agree with. This is the perfect time to try and figure out exactly what you actually want to be doing. Try not to just look for another job just to have one, but rather, take steps to determine what would be a more purposeful and fulfilling position. Then, create a plan to search for jobs like that. Knowing you're working toward leaving will help you get through each day. I'm happy to talk with you further and be a sounding board if that would be helpful.
Lena
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200
informal and formal educator
06/30/20 at 1:43AM UTC
It is unfortunate to be in a toxic environment. I've been there. It is very difficult to change it. I tried fit in. I tried to change it. I tried to find a new job. That was the sequence I went through. It is too hard on my health to put up with toxicity. I hate to give the advice to leave because I hated to hear it but it is actually the best advice.
DeLisa Dawkins
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113
Real Estate Professional, Marketing Expert
06/29/20 at 8:31PM UTC
It is imperative to maintain your sanity and mental health in any career you choose. Evaluate your options and exit strategy, then move forward.
Anonymous
06/29/20 at 8:15PM UTC
I had to walk away from a toxic job that was affecting my marriage. I thought I could transition into a more substantial role within the company, but eventually, I had to cut my losses. My marriage was more important than the job. Times are tough, yes. Unless you are desperate for the income, no job is worth your sanity.
Sarah Hong
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27
Investing in human capital
06/29/20 at 6:47PM UTC
I'm so sorry that you're going through this. It helps to assess what your threshold is for these sort of situations. If it's bringing you more stress than satisfaction, it might be time to move on. Obviously, it's easier said than done, but setting a goal may help and it feels like you're working towards something better.
cms1234
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203
06/29/20 at 6:12PM UTC
Ashley, first so sorry this is your experience. If you're asking us should you move on? I would say yes. If you're asking how to change the environment? I personally don't think you can. You can take on some of these great hints to help you stay strong until your next career move. You are a professional stuck with nightmare co-workers. Jen is correct: if it's a toxic environment, it's not worth the stress. Trust us --- we all found out hard way at one point or another. Next position? Bet you'll find it fabulous!
Jackie Ghedine
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5.75k
Coach for Gen X Women | Jack Russell of Humans
06/29/20 at 11:13AM UTC
While you're still there, it's important to find a way to separate yourself from the emotional turmoil that is happening. Understanding you won't be able to change their behaviors, it's time to focus on how to shift the way you respond to them. If you know you are going to leave (just working on opportunities) then shift your mindset this way. When something happens, think to yourself, this is dysfunctional but I'm not going to allow these people to drag me into that dysfunction. When we are so emotionally invested, it's difficult to see that we can relinquish the control the situation has over our moods. Practice providing space between the situation that would get you upset with your response and see if you can consciously decide to feel something different. This is a practice but one that can help during tumultuous times. Good luck.
jputnam
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61
Manager in NY Theater Industry
06/30/20 at 5:20PM UTC
I agree with Jackie completely! As you shift to a different place of work, keep in mind that while you can't control their "crazy," you do have control of you... I work with someone who often and easily turns situations toxic - or at least heated. He used to ruin my entire day with one comment - until I realized I let him do it. My day wasn't actually that bad - but with one a**h*le comment, I'd given him that control and power over me. It's a constant practice, but work on realizing that YOU are in control and can distance yourself from their toxicity... until you can find a more healthy environment. Wishing you luck with both this practice and a new position!
Jen Ferguson
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52
Director of Sales at InsideOut
06/29/20 at 10:14AM UTC
If it’s a toxic environment it’s not worth the stress. Protect your mental health.

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