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Elizabeth
star-svg
22
Vaccine Lead in Nashville
09/23/20 at 9:15PM UTC
in
Career

Who In Your Life Is Supporting Your Ambition?

To preface, I'm a 28 year old college dropout who was unhappy and looking for more out of life. So I went the self-help route. I read 'You are a badass at making money' by Jen Sincero, TWICE (Thanks Books-A-Million). After I was feeling extremely motivated to change my reality, view money as a tool to create the life I want and enjoy the ride along the way. I started by brainstorming how to transform my financial status (we'll save that for another post). But in the process I decided to ask the people closest to me, who know me outside of my career, what my brand was. Essentially asking them how they viewed me as a marketable product, and what skills I had to offer. Their answers were surprising. First, out of the 10 people I asked, only 2 responded. I found this hurtful to my ego, but also very telling about my friends. The 2 friends who responded gave me RAVE reviews and really boosted my confidence. They told me how Driven, Generous, Adaptable and Eager I am to be challenged. They used words like Inclusive, Industrious, Self-Assured, Adventurous and Passionate. But the 8 who left me on 'read' made me feel as though this wasn't a serious enough matter to require their effort to respond. The next correspondence I received from them was about a new spot for dinner or something they had seen on Instagram. I had previously considered these people to be completely supportive of me and my dreams, but this little exercise caused me to pivot. I still love and admire those 8 friends, but the 2 who CHOSE to lift me up are coincidentally, the 2 who are the most ambitious in their own lives and careers. I think that says a lot about what we see as mundane and what we see as necessary when it comes to work and our relationships. What to me felt like a simple ask of my closest friends to help narrow my niche, to some felt like me fishing for a compliment or asking for praise from the people who shouldn't have to try so hard to be in my life. I see it from both perspectives, but I decided right then and there to be sure I was giving my relationships the validation they needed in whatever way they were asking for it. And that the friends who had an opportunity to support me in the moment, did. What moments have you had where you had to pivot or realize a relationship was on different terms than you had previously understood them to be? Have you had this realization where you and a partner's ambitions were growing at different rates?

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Kelli
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1.46k
Helps senior-level women make career changes
09/24/20 at 12:58AM UTC
Elizabeth - first, congrats on investing in yourself and realizing you want more out of life. This is a HUGE step and one that will only benefit you for years to come. And to do so at such a young age is amazing! A lot of people are uncomfortable with personal development...they are likely in a completely difference mindset than you and have trouble even understanding why you're asking them that question. You'll learn that as you dive deeper into your self-development your circle may become smaller but that's okay. You want to be surrounding yourself with people that lift you up. My two cents is continue to align yourself with the two that answered and find some other people that value what you do. It doesn't mean you still can't be friends with the other 8, but your conversations and relationships may evolve into something that feels a bit different...and that's perfectly fine too. We all change and evolve in different ways.
Elizabeth
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22
Vaccine Lead in Nashville
09/25/20 at 3:39PM UTC
Thanks Kelli, that's some good insight. I, myself, am slightly uncomfortable with personal development, but I'm forcing myself into it. HA! I just have to remember that everyone is at their own pace and I can't expect all to understand or participate in my journey. But I'm gonna stay at it! Continue to work on me and be kind to others. Preparing for the changes that come with it. :)
Kelli
star-svg
1.46k
Helps senior-level women make career changes
09/25/20 at 3:42PM UTC
Amazing for you! I can tell your future is bright :)
Natalia
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706
Continuously Evolving
09/24/20 at 12:17AM UTC
Don't take it personally that the others didn't respond. Sometimes it may seem harder to them or they forget. If you make the ask simple than they are more likely to respond. Ask them to describe you in 3 adjectives. But yes, I've reached points with friends where I realized we outgrew each other or were in different life stages.
Elizabeth
star-svg
22
Vaccine Lead in Nashville
09/25/20 at 3:22PM UTC
I agree, I think they forget. We live in different cities and some of them are more domesticated than I am. Some who still have careers, some who don't. I think some people just get so content with their life as is, they have wonderful families etc. But I have definitely struggled with maintaining a connection when we don't relate to each other as much. Maybe I'll try again and frame it differently, or start the conversation about their careers and "talk shop". Thanks for your feedback!

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