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Being Late
I am chronically late to everything! I have been my whole life. My mother was the same way, and for some reason I’ve kept this bad habit going. I know this sounds like an easy fix and feel silly even asking for help. I truly try to be on time by getting up earlier, simplifying my morning routine, going to bed earlier, etc. But for some reason I continue to make myself late. Has anyone else had this embarrassing issue? Or perhaps an idea of some psychological reason I keep doing this? I’m starting a new job and I want to perform well!
I should add, I am a single mom of two girls who are virtual learning. My ex husband and my mother will be with my girls when I’m working a rotational shift.
Alex Allyn
Sales and Customer Success Sr Leader
13
09/16/20 at 12:51AM UTC
I was chronically late in my twenties. I believe that I just made the decision to get out of the door sooner. It’s a habit you must break as it’s often perceived as disrespect and that you are not responsible- that alone made me hustle!
I have a couple of recommendations:
1) identify what is slowing you down. It may be a few things but chunk it out and address one at a time. It could be as simple as putting your clothes away differently by outfit, getting rid of clothes clutter that gets in your way when deciding etc.
2) wake just 15 mins earlier and get a coffepot that will brew your coffee on a timer- maybe a trigger to a few senses helps
3) something that has helped me run on time to meetings is setting an alert on every meeting and wearing my Apple Watch. If I’m away from my phone or in a conversation, it does a little tap on my wrist to let me know it’s time to go.
You got this!
Erin ThompsonPeople-first Product Marketing Leader
41
09/16/20 at 12:38AM UTC
I sometimes struggle with this and I have found a few different things that contribute to it and some that help. I'll preface this by saying I am not very aware of anything ADHD related so the answers by others above may be more helpful if that is what you are dealing with
In my case, I have a tendency to underestimate how long things will take and to over book myself. That leads to me trying to make it for things "just on time" which often results in being late. Here are a few things that have helped me:
1) As you get started working on this, commit to fewer things and say no more often. Give yourself some breathing room.
2) As you try to get better at predicting how long it will take to do things, start by just adding 10 min or so to your estimate for buffer
3) Instead of planning to be on time, plan to be 15 minutes early, always! This gives you some extra time in case something unexpected happens, and if not, it generally is not a bad thing to be early.
I hope some of this is helpful!
Anonymous
09/15/20 at 11:19PM UTC
Do you have post its or notes for important things? I was also going to suggest ADHD. My experience: I thought because I can be very focused it couldn't be me, but I read a symptom list (and noticed that my daughter reminds me of what I said I'd do 1 min ago, but I got side tracked, and that I rely on my sense of smell to know I am cooking eggs if I've stepped away) and ends up it's me (with ADHD)! At work I see I have a meeting in 3 min but I think I can do that one more thing and --- OMG 10 min later, or I had a meeting? I'm late. So now I know to skip that one thing or else have a reminder that will come up that I can't "snooze" (or gets hidden). And if I leave an important task, I put on a timer (or sticky note). My mom puts a "x" by her thumb to know she has something to remember. Good luck figuring out your situation and what works for you!
Rachel F.Here to support women.
97
09/15/20 at 10:46PM UTC
Hi! I do have a couple suggestions for you. First, I am sorry this is such a struggle. It is so frustrating and demotivating to not be able to achieve something you really want. First, to get to work on time, you need to figure out what time you need to leave your home, and then subtract 10-15 minutes from that (to account for traffic and setbacks). Work backwards and add in each morning activity and how long it should take. I think you are going to need a friend to help you with this activity, because you might be "time blind". (this is just a phrase, not any clinical disorder or anything). It just means that it is very difficult for a person to account for time. My daughter has this problem and she has ADHD- inattentive type. It would be worth checking out the symptoms of this disorder to see if you think they mesh with you. You can also make an appointment to see a clinical psychologist and they will be able to give you an accurate diagnosis. I suspect you may be dealing with more issues, but this is the surface. There is help for whatever you are dealing with. I did want to circle back to your morning routine. You will need a friend to help you figure out what you are doing wrong, because, as you said, you have already tried everything. Someone with a different perspective can help. You can do it! And you have to believe that you can change it, too. But you will have to figure out what part of your routine needs to change to make it work.
SarahCompassion above all
27
09/15/20 at 9:50PM UTC
Hey there, I personally don't struggle with this, but have loads of folks in my life who do! An initial thought is bringing awareness to yourself, your body, your thoughts and feelings when you're in that "mode". As you get ready and go to head out to work, an appt, etc- what sort of inner dialog are you noticing? What do you feel in your body? Do you see a pattern of emotion arise over time? Essentially this will allow you to tap into what's under the surface of the behavior and potentially what's driving it. Enacting compassion, patience and lovingkindness towards yourself will give you the spaciousness to see where choice lies. Best of luck!
Anonymous
09/15/20 at 10:28PM UTC
I'm one who is usually early to things. But I've found myself getting to work a bit later and later each day. I know it is more my dread at going in than anything else. Check to see if it's the place, action scheduled first.
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