Today is my son's 3rd birthday.

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Vicki Abelson

121

Leadership and Life Coach

02/02/21 at 4:43PM UTC

Today is my son's 3rd birthday.

Of course, I'm spending my time today reminiscing and looking at ALL the baby pictures. But also, I cant help but remember the tough/awkward conversations I had just after having him (and his older sister). "Are you really going back to work?" "Wont you miss your children?" "They are only little for so long." Yes. Yes. Yes. All of those things are true. What is also true is that I am passionate about what I do. My career AND my family are important to me. I firmly believe that, if you want, it is possible to have both. It's possible to have a meaningful career that lights you up and a family life. Is it easy? No. Is it worth it? Absolutely.

13 Comments

Heather Macone

276

02/02/21 at 6:34PM UTC

100% agree! In many cases (I know mine!), I am a better mother because I work full time. Knowing that I am providing for my family as well as making a difference with my work, makes me happy to wake up every morning. I support both SAH Moms as well as working mothers, I have been both! Being a SAHM is rewarding and a true challenge. It is one of the hardest jobs there is. Being a working Mom is incredibly rewarding, not only financially but also mentally. Having a career to grow and develop is what some mothers require to be considered whole and is a part of their identity. I am one of those Moms. I am proud of what I have built, both in my home life as well as my work life. To each their own! I support you in your endeavor to grow your career.

1 Reply

Vicki Abelson

121

Leadership and Life Coach

02/03/21 at 12:59AM UTC

Thank you. Yes! It's so much about what makes you, personally, whole. Thank you for sharing!

Georgene Huang

2.82k

CEO & Co-founder of Fairygodboss

02/02/21 at 8:20PM UTC

My youngest also turned 3 recently. Happy birthday to yours! I obviously know there are sacrifices to be made as a working parent and the amount of sacrifice fall very unevenly in our world based on a number of things (including luck, what kind of job/child/spouse/support system you have and other very large social structural issues) so this has always been a hard topic for me (i.e. sometimes the question is phrased as "can you have it all?) I think this "she-cession" has caused a lot of women to lose jobs. In some cases, this is because they have decided they must leave the workforce because the constraints of family/caretaking and their jobs just don't work in the age of homeschooling / pandemic realities. Over time, all of these things has caused me to believe that it's a more complex question of whether you can "have both" or "have it all." But thank you for sharing. This article is also on a similar topic: https://www.thecut.com/2021/02/hanna-rosin-end-of-the-end-of-men.html#_ga=2.225831450.1884547422.1612277945-177692661.1612277944

1 Reply

Vicki Abelson

121

Leadership and Life Coach

02/03/21 at 1:04AM UTC

Yes, I couldnt agree more. I think it goes beyond having it all. The factors that lead us to work, or not, are so personal and may be the result of things that are way beyond our control. This pandemic has certainly more than highlighted those factors and the disparity of women having to take the brunt of the child care/home responsibilities. These are complicated questions. I think the best we can do now, is find answers that work best for us and our families.

Siobhan Stephan

133

Operations Analyst in California

02/02/21 at 8:23PM UTC

Happy Birthday to your son! Yes, it is all worth it. As women we are a capable of doing many things, but we don't have to do it all. And we learn, sometimes the hard way, when to let go. I have learned that lesson as a Mom for sure! But have fun reflecting and celebrating your son, it is true that they grow up fast!

Jennifer Swayne Njuguna

218

02/02/21 at 8:35PM UTC

Happy birthday! I have a son turning one in March and I just started a new job after being out of work for a little while. I too love what I do and I love my family and I am making both possible in my own way and am glad there's a community of women here who understand what it means to have both if that's what they choose.

1 Reply

Vicki Abelson

121

Leadership and Life Coach

02/03/21 at 1:05AM UTC

Congratulations on your new role! Yes, community is so important, both in parenting and working.

1 Reply

Jennifer Swayne Njuguna

218

02/03/21 at 1:41AM UTC

Thank you!!

Bianca Lager

Own. The. Room.

02/02/21 at 10:17PM UTC

Yes yes yes yes! Go Mama and happy birthday to your boy! It is such a shame that so many people aren't supportive to working Moms. The transition back is so hard and there is enough emotional baggage. The questioning of your decisions is so unsupportive. I've had my share of family and friends making passive aggressive comments and questions like this. Thanks for pointing this out and I hope other Moms, especially new ones see this and know that you don't have to keep space in your head listening to unsupportive people. It's hard enough and with hormones raging, it's often a confusing time and easy to start doubting yourself. Know others have been there and ultimately, the choices you make for your family are the best choices. Happy Birthday little man!

1 Reply

Vicki Abelson

121

Leadership and Life Coach

02/03/21 at 1:07AM UTC

Thank you. Yes! It is SUCH a hard transition and we do have so much doubt/guilt as it is. It makes it so much harder when others, who are well meaning, ask questions that make us doubt ourselves ever more.

Stephany Cobar

Homeschool mom and parent volunteer

02/02/21 at 10:55PM UTC

First off, let me congratulate on both your mama and working skills. As well as Happy 3rd Birthday to your son. I have two kids of my own now, one that is 13 and the other just turned 10 and as much as I also reminisce on their baby-hood, I'm glad that I have been there to help them reach their milestones. I have been a stay at home mom as well as a homeschool mom for the past few years and have not entered the workforce because I feel that my children's education and values are more important to install at such a critical stage. I too have been told that I need to go to work blah blah blah,, but no one walks in your shoes and how you are putting every self-less act to raise a family. Raising a family is work itself, the rewards are in payed form by watching your family grow. A mom knows when they are ready to go back to the work field, without needing any pressure from the outside world. Once my kids have had their educational foundation, I will be going back to college for a career. Until then, you keep rocking your mom and career skills as you know how. Never doubt yourself or place any guilt for how you are raising your family. You keep passionate about your family and your career. I give your props for handling both. Enjoy your son's birthday, because they are only little for a while.

1 Reply

Vicki Abelson

121

Leadership and Life Coach

02/03/21 at 1:09AM UTC

Yes! These choices are so personal and depend so much on the family. What works for one, may not work for another. And that's ok. There is room for both choices (and others). Having had to do some homeschooling this year, like many of us, I acknowledge just how much hard work that is (even with pre-schoolers!).

Katie Malone

1.16k

Social Media Manager + Mother to two daughter

02/03/21 at 2:46PM UTC

Happy bday to your son! You said it soo well. I'm passionate about what I do and my career AND family are important to me. As a 29-year-old new (hormonal) mom, I legitimately lashed out at a woman (friend of a friend) who asked me, "who will raise your children while you're at work?" Now as a 37-year-old mom of 7 and 5 year old girls, I am SO happy I continued to grow my career. When your kids see you work and work HARD, you are teaching them so much about dedication, determination and LIFE! Keep with your passion, Mama!

User edited comment on 02/03/21 at 2:47PM UTC