Hi. Have any of you felt you’ve been or are being gaslighted at your job? If yes, could you briefly share your experience and what action you took? I feel my boss and colleague are spinning things to make me feel like I’m not doing my job or that I’m taking things too literally. I’m encouraged to share my opinions and ideas, make recommendations and perform additional tasks yet when I do, it seems like I get shot down. Then somehow my boss twists things to make it seem like I’m the one who’s not doing my job. I go the extra mile but work keeps piling up and another colleague and I feel it’s not sustainable. I welcome helpful insight and advice based on your personal experiences.

Be careful with this. I've been in a similar situation. Be confident, don't second guess yourself, and document everything (all of your accomplishments, any special assignments, etc). Also, be cautious about sharing opinions and ideas. I've been in situations where my ideas were shot down...and then implemented by the manager later. lol Also, sharing opinions could be seen as being critical, so always frame it in a positive way. In the meantime, I would suggest updating your resume and look for a new job. The situation as you've laid out has the hallmarks of a deteriorating and toxic work environment.

"Taking things too literally" could be a cultural thing, or perhaps really is personal. They could be histrionic or something, or you may be a teensy bit on the spectrum. Just learn that when they say "xxxxx!!!" it might mean "lmnop." Differences in communication style are hard to negotiate, but the person in power gets to establish which communication style will be used, unfortunately for the rest of us.

Try to keep a log of each meeting, sending an email to your personal email from your work email, and make a point of remembering when your ideas were *not* shot down, and when someone else's ideas were also shot down to be sure you are not focusing on the negative.

Also, keep track of all the work you do daily, tracking which parts of your essential job functions each task belongs to. This will give you evidence for whatever reason you may need, including combatting gaslighting. If your boss has developed a bias against you, facts will be the best way to combat it.

I've been in a similar situation, and the best solution is really just escape, but I know that's not always possible. Surviving and thriving is the best "revenge," so that's my wish for you however things go.