137
© 2022 Fairygodboss. All rights reserved.
Mentoring a Woman Twice My Age...
Yesterday, I was contacted by a lady who I have worked with recently on a project, one where we have spent about 6 months building a fairly good professional relationship. I respect this woman and see her challenges, as well as the ways she might not respond to those challenges in the manner I would (not that my way is the only way, just different).
With that said, she reached out to me yesterday and listed out very kind and complimentary characteristics or methods that she appreciates about me (which honestly, made me feel a bit too good and also wondering who this woman met impersonating me)... She asked me to be her mentor. A formal professional workplace mentor. How exciting, right? Humbling, exciting, angst-invoking, thought-provoking... all the things!
I have a few concerns and questions - soliciting ideas from all my FGB friends. The main concern I would like experience and insight on is more so about our age difference... While age is not something we can change, it can change our perspectives... she also mentioned that, and how she wants to get more technological savvy, as is my experience with digital tools. I am comfortable with that, easy peasy!
What is your best advice and experience in mentoring someone twice your age?
I'm looking forward to your responses!
Thanks!
Alexa
Melissa GourgueExperienced business manager & HR Consultant
128
05/07/20 at 9:11PM UTC
This is so amazing for you! I encourage you to really dive into this opportunity. My entire career has consisted of me leading teams that are older than me in age. What's really unique in these situations is you can also learn so much from your mentee. My advice on the age difference is - don't worry about it too much. Think about the relationship you've built and how (just like any friend your age) you'd want to help each other grow and be better.
I can share from experience, as a young manager, I thought it was weird and that they wouldn't listen to me - especially since I always got the comments of me reminding them of their daughters or even grand-daughters. But once you have the same goals and build that trust, the whole process of having an "older mentee" gets easier until you don't even think about the age!
Alexa CordellDigital Learning Leader
137
05/07/20 at 11:42PM UTC
Thank you for this... and for sharing your experience. That has been the most helpful... because I do get those comments (about reminding people of their daughter, etc.). Thanks for the reassurance on it!
Alexa
Angeline JohnsonData science epidemiology statistics marketing
24
05/06/20 at 4:03PM UTC
I think there's a lot to be said for developing a friendship that's somewhat focused on some pursuit. This is one. Frankly, it may make sense to shape it around perspective: she seeks yours,actively, and you may benefit from hers. Just taking any scenario and each saying to the other "what do you see?" , "what do you project/infer"? "What are the ramifications that you anticipate?" could be a real learning opportunity.
Sharon Fash
14
05/05/20 at 12:31PM UTC
When teaching and mentoring age should never be a consideration.
Are you more concerned with how she processes her tasks, is it generational?
In dealing with displaced alumni that need to reacclimatize to the work force some difficulty arises due to their mindsets.
This can be a fantastic learning experience for both of you. I say go for it with an open mind.
Alexa CordellDigital Learning Leader
137
05/05/20 at 2:39PM UTC
I’m more concerned that I won’t be able to give her relatable advice... nothing to do with her skill set, she’s brilliant.
Thanks!
A
Judy OldsBuilding Relationships - Changing Lives
55
05/04/20 at 10:20PM UTC
why should it be any different that someone your own age? We older folks can learn a lot from the younger ones. don't talk down to her though
Paulla FetzekTeacher, Lighting Expert, & Office Professional
1.73k
05/04/20 at 12:47PM UTC
Hi Alexa,
It's awesome to have such a good professional relationship. And I agree with those who note that you both will likely mutually benefit!
Many times - even in the workplace - the age stigma exists. Younger employees think older employees are "stuck in their ways". And older think younger are "green" and "don't know anything" yet.
I think everyone is always a mix of both! I'll be 53 this year (getting older by the second!) and have been with my current job for 18 years now. I am an expert in many things. With a LOT that I need to learn and continue to do so daily.
My advice? Don't think of age. In addition to my FT job, I also teach English as a Second Language. My youngest student was 8. My oldest, is 67. Despite that vast gap... both students have MANY similarities.
Also, you might start your training by asking your coworker how she best learns. I create all my learning materials as if the person has never done/seen/worked with the project before. I would rather a person look at my lesson and go "Oh, I know how to do that already!"... Than look at it and go, "What in the world is she talking about?!"
All the best...
Mona YaegerTalent Acquisition Specialist in Chicago, IL
56
05/03/20 at 3:47PM UTC
Also, remember you can learn from her as well. She might have a very interesting career with ups and downs and changes you might not have encountered yet. Good luck.
Tabbi KinionWildlife Education Manager
296
05/03/20 at 1:35PM UTC
Simon Sinek just posted a video about mentoring that you might enjoy watching right now:
https://www.facebook.com/simonsinek/videos/2647721008880920/?vh=e&d=n
Alexa CordellDigital Learning Leader
137
05/06/20 at 5:23PM UTC
Hey Tabbi,
Thanks for this! I just watched it - such a great video :) I find this relevant... especially the part about "a mentor is someone who always has time for you".
That is something.
Again, thanks for this.
Alexa
Anonymous
05/03/20 at 4:44AM UTC
Alexa, I need you too!!
Anonymous
05/03/20 at 3:44AM UTC
Hi Alexa, I am sure the relationship will be beneficial for both of you. I think a good way to start is to ask her if she can write for you what she is specifically want she wants to learn at the beginning. It will guide you where to start and make you comfortable that you are teaching her exactly what she is interested in.
Anonymous
05/02/20 at 5:15PM UTC
As I am also probably twice your age, I have been is her shoes. I was one of the oldest employees to join my last position and a younger colleague took me under her wing to help me learn the ins and outs of my position and really help led me excel. We ended up developing a true friendship out of this, even though she is the same age as my daughter. We do “girls day out” frequently and talk on the phone or by text nearly daily. We are very supportive of each other and I value her input in my search for another position and I celebrate her landing a new job! It is incredible to find someone who is so like me, and yet so much younger. We mentor each other and it is fabulous! I advise you to go for it. You never know where this relationship may take you both. You won’t be sorry.
Alexa CordellDigital Learning Leader
137
05/02/20 at 5:32PM UTC
Thank you for the response!!! I’m very excited to get going and build our relationship! We do get along very well and have built a great friendship since we have worked on a few projects together... I’m so glad to hear from someone who has been in her shoes.
© 2022 Fairygodboss. All rights reserved.