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Stephanie Brown
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119
Entrepreneur / Real Estate Agent
10/12/19 at 5:53PM UTC
in
Career

Name Changer

Having been let go after a 20-year career at the same firm, I found myself interviewing for the first time in decades. I was sending out resumes, contacting friends and colleagues, and signing up with recruiters. Reading all advice online, when any opportunity arose to interview, I took it. I was contacted by a recruiter who had an opening at a fintech firm, a company of about 70 people; the job description was vague but having been in fintech sales for most of my career, I knew it was in my wheelhouse. The first interviewer was great, very easy to talk to and professional. After about 40 minutes he told me he was going to call in the director of HR to speak to me who shared my first name. Strangely he mentioned that she hadn’t wanted to even meet me, but he would ask her to come in. He also mentioned to be sure to give her a strong handshake. When I met her, she was professional and pleasant; we spoke for about a half hour about the position, my work history and the market in general. Things seemed to be going well when wrapping up, she said: “So, what does the M. stand for?” “Mary?” I responded. “Do you ever go by it?” She asked. “No, I do not”, I replied. “Well if you come to work here, you’ll have to change your name, I can’t have another Stephanie working here.” She said. I started to chuckle and realized she was completely serious. She was scanning my resume and kept talking, telling me they had a previous employee named Stephanie and it caused her a lot of issues with phone calls, messages, etc. I said I would go by Steph and she refused, saying that wouldn’t work. “Think about it”, she said, getting up from the conference table and giving me another strong grip but I was already lost in thought, wondering how I could possibly not be called by my own name. The following week, I heard back from the recruiter saying they wanted me to come back. I had told him about the name change issue and that I wasn’t really interested in returning but he persisted. The CEO wanted to speak to me. All those advice columns I had read arose in my mind, an interview with a CEO was good practice at the very least so after a little back and forth, I relented. Upon return, I met with my initial contact who was again professional and polite. We moved to another conference room and he said the CEO would be in shortly. As I waited, I thought, is this really where I want to work? What would my name be? How could I spend my entire day being called something else when I’ve spent 50 years being called Stephanie? The CEO came in as did my namesake to introduce him. As she left, we began to talk about the position and evidently, the job description hadn’t reached him either. He told me he was looking for someone with a completely different background than mine. As he slammed his hand down on the table, he said, what are you doing here, almost shouting. I said I was asked to come meet you and again, slamming his hand down, he shouted, “What are you doing here?” I responded, "wasting my time apparently" and I left.

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Join the conversation...
Erini Kallias (LoveLean)
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128
A change agent desiring to make a difference.
02/12/20 at 1:42PM UTC
I came across this long after the event, however I am in shock! A mini-catalogue of disasters. It sounds like the company who was recruiting are in some kind of chaotic situation and perhaps don't even realise that they are not cohesive or what they need. I applaud that you walked out; there is no need for anyone to deal with that kind of behaviour and I find it appalling that anyone thinks that it is acceptable to treat anyone in that manner. Always one to see the positive, I agree that you have quite a story to tell, plus some experience of how to deal with that kind of situation. I very much hope that you are on your way to finding the right fit. Best wishes to you.
MsGray
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39
10/17/19 at 2:58PM UTC
WOW!!! What an experience.
LEANNE TOBIAS
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4.09k
Investment real estate/sustainability
10/16/19 at 5:17AM UTC
Goodness! You dodged a bullet. It’s them, not you. Both the HR representative and the CEO sound like headcases.
Robin Stone
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601
Work with executive leadership team
10/16/19 at 4:02AM UTC
They did you a favor! Keep your name...don’t change it for anything or anyone!!!
Helen Hanison
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436
Helen Hanison's Leadership Coaching
10/15/19 at 5:29PM UTC
There's nothing stranger than folks! What a peculiar story - one I'm sorry you had to go through but glad you dodged the bullet! I'm coming in a bit late and reading everything together, I'm wondering if there's a hangover effect lingering? How are you feeling about the job search ahead at this point? Warmly, Helen
Stephanie Brown
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119
Entrepreneur / Real Estate Agent
10/18/19 at 1:23PM UTC
I am still at it Helen, it's not easy at 50 but I am trying to keep positive and as well, trying to pursue other paths of revenue at the same time. This experience has definitely taught me a ton about myself, my resilience and who I am. For that, I am grateful.
Stephanie Brown
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119
Entrepreneur / Real Estate Agent
10/15/19 at 3:30PM UTC
I am SO incredibly overwhelmed and appreciative for the response from the FGB community here! I have to be honest, I initially felt almost embarrassed to share this story because how could I have gone back?! I have learned so much from this experience and gained so much from everyone’s comments. Thank you all.
HannahRP
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42
higher ed/ non-profit consultant
10/15/19 at 3:16PM UTC
Yikes, this is such a painful situation, but it's worth holding on to to use for future interviews and stories about wanting to be a part of a company who values you for who you are, and what you bring to the table already, as well as a company that communicates effectively... Dodged a bullet here, head up and onward!
Erin Howard-Reid
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318
Career Counselor
10/14/19 at 6:24PM UTC
I wonder how long this company wil last with him as CEO - hahahaha. I'm sorry I'm laughing at your pain. It's just such a ridiculous situation. Thank you for sharing!
Carrie Stiles
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470
Create the "WOW!" Factor For Your Client
10/14/19 at 4:49PM UTC
Better to have found out about all of this before it was too late. Good for you for leaving.
Barb Hansen
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6.67k
Startup Product, Growth & Strategy
10/14/19 at 4:45PM UTC
Wow! that's incredible. I am jumping on the "get this on Glassdoor bus" found on comments above.

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