Postpartum experience returning to work and long-term depression
September 9,2019 at 4:51PM UTC
I had my daughter 3 years ago and experienced postpartum depression that enhanced bipolar depression, anxiety and alcohol abuse. 3 years later I am addressing the issues that landed me in the emotional battle I am currently dealing with, with the help of therapy, addiction therapy and psychiatric support. Through these channels of support I have come to realize that a single work event has contributed to this battle: while on maternity leave my division at work was bought out by a competitor. I had to interview to keep my current employment but returned from maternity leave to basically a new company, new job and with most all of my old coworkers gone. I never really "came back" and it was an every day battle to get myself into the office. I lost all passion and confidence in the work I had done. Eventually it led to alcohol abuse, severe depression and most recently taking FMLA per my addiction therapist to avoid the triggers at work that led to my problem drinking. I'm now 18 weeks sober and facing the eventual day that I have to return work with overwhelming hopelessness and despair. I truly believe that returning to this work situation will reverse all progress I have made while on leave. On the other hand, trying to begin a new job may very well do the same damage. How do I repair my relationship with work? Is it even possible while maintaining sobriety and finding the solution to my severe bipolar depression and anxiety?
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