Help...I was terminated!

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Anonymous

06/14/19 at 10:16PM UTC

Career

Help...I was terminated!

At MY age...fired?!?! Like IntentionGirl, I’m in the same boat and needing encouraging thoughts as well. I recently have been terminated from my employer of almost 8 years for being tardy. Yes, I was tardy more often than not usually 5 minutes and never more than 10 minutes. I have two little ones (3 and 1), and trying to leave the house with them (during school traffic and work rush hour) or to do anything with them in a timely manner is like trying to herd cats in a circus! I am very resentful because I was very loyal to my employer and fair. If I was late, I made sure to stay however long I was late. People often times left early and would report staying a complete 8 hours!! Sometimes I did not take my breaks to be “fair”. And never did I call in sick for myself. ...I am only trying to be a good mother. It’s been a few weeks since I’ve been let go and it’s been devastating. I too feel like I’m throwing my resumé down a black hole. What I’m fearing the most is that my termination will keep me from getting hired. My termination has been so stressful and very depressing. What advice you can share when dealing with terminations and obtaining an opportunity to be interviewed?

28 Comments

mondblue

Updating my technical skills with cyber.

06/14/19 at 11PM UTC

Go to unemployment and apply for unemployment. You should have been counseled three times and each time it should have written up, you should have signed those counseling sheets. If you can not be there 10 minutes before start time, you are late to work.

1 Reply

Anonymous

06/15/19 at 4:06PM UTC

Totally! That’s the goal and my biggest challenge! What do you recommend I can say to an interviewer and future employer?

Crystal Rhineberger

2.09k

professional rofl nevermind lets just wing it

06/14/19 at 11:06PM UTC

You don’t need to state why you were terminated unless u feel the next company will want to talk to the previous company. I have always felt this is creepy like future husband calling ex-husband. You have stated that you have been tardy and while yes I personally agree w you, that you went above and beyond to make things happen, previous employer did not. My bff has just been let go for many the same reasons labeled as not a good fit, professional translation “we just need you to be us”. Next job I would truly say to the interviewer your job as a mother is number one (I know mine is!) But you will and shall have the same dedication to your work. Also use this to chart out time a little better (if you can not all of us are able too- difficult children( boy that attitude can b a doozy) traffic snarls, I was once late for a cow in the road, lol no predicting that. If asked y u r not w company x keep it professional to not a good fit for you as an individual sort of reason. Im very sorry about this loss tho. It hurts no matter the reason

1 Reply

Janie Dorman

Banker looking to obtain administrative career

06/14/19 at 11:20PM UTC

Thank you! I will look for the chart!!

1 Reply

Crystal Rhineberger

2.09k

professional rofl nevermind lets just wing it

06/15/19 at 12:35AM UTC

U know it could be as simple as laying your wardrobe and the kiddos wardrobes the night b4 Or using the weekend to assemble a few looks to have options. Or a little extra food prep to make breakfast easier Getting up 15mins earlier just to have a few minutes u time to collect thoughts. Im a huge over thinker so I actually pack my bag a few weeks b4 trips, allows me to be able to puzzle out all options and it sounds crazy but at the time we have to leave its a grab and go! I actually have a tote that i tuck my purse into as well Library returns Lists of errands Kitchen sink lol u name it that tote goes back and forth to whatever vehicle i have Saves me alot of time

1 Reply

Anonymous

06/15/19 at 3:33PM UTC

I love your idea about assembling/prepping food before hand. I will take that into practice! Funny thing is that we can wake up hours earlier and we can never seem to get out of the door on time. Something happens like a poopy diaper as I’m buckling in them in car seat, one of them will take their shoes off while I’m brushing the other one’s teeth. I know they sound like excuses. But, does anyone else have this problem?? LOL

2 Replies

Crystal Rhineberger

2.09k

professional rofl nevermind lets just wing it

06/15/19 at 4:47PM UTC

I have also organized my closet that its color coded w all like items from lightest to dark It takes the guesswork out of my dressing and thus gives me a few minutes to get other things done

Madam anon663

422

Learner, skeptic, direct.

06/15/19 at 8:11PM UTC

How sad that your employer didn't have compassion and help figure our a work life balance for you, I say good riddance.

1 Reply

JTepper

108

Manage revenue and commissions for my division.

06/15/19 at 10:10PM UTC

I agree firing someone who is 5 minutes late but a good worker, is not good business. I supervise 6 people and always work around their schedules conflicts at home. Your employer should have counseled you and any termination should not have been a surprise. Do you have a partner in the picture who can help out in the morning? Also, you are not required to tell anyone why you parted ways with your previous employer. Find a company that is going to work with your schedule.

2 Replies

Madam anon663

422

Learner, skeptic, direct.

06/16/19 at 9:12AM UTC

Of course, there is the other thought that even though she was only 5 or 10 minutes late, there are other reasons for the employer to be so unreasonable.

1 Reply

JTepper

108

Manage revenue and commissions for my division.

06/16/19 at 2:39PM UTC

@madam anon663 yes, I thought the same thing. There are some positions, like call centers, where tardiness could be a problem. However if there are performance issues beyond that her manager should have also addressed them. No termination should come as a surprise.

Anonymous

06/16/19 at 10:45PM UTC

Unfortunately, my employer did counsel me. He’s actually moved on because he was t happy there, and has apologized for having written me up. But, that doesn’t do me any good now, Thank you for letting me know that I don’t have to disclose why I parted ways with my previous employer. I simply want to be honest but, most importantly, hired.

1 Reply

JTepper

108

Manage revenue and commissions for my division.

06/16/19 at 10:49PM UTC

Maybe your can ask him to write you a recommendation. That is one way he can help you now. Listen, keep looking. You will find something. If you live anywhere near Michigan, look here. We are having difficulty finding qualified people.

Anonymous

06/16/19 at 3:26PM UTC

As an Director of Human Resources I would have put you in a flexible schedule, 8 hours from when you arrive. If you’re valued and committed then the company should work with nit against you. Depending on what state your live I’d file a wrongful termination. You might also approach the company and ask if they will accept your resignation officially in exchange for you not applying for unemployment. That way you can have a resignation not a termination on your record.

1 Reply

Saudia Santure

Translator, warrior, advocate

06/17/19 at 2:19PM UTC

I agree with that, and actually wonder if the time thing was just the excuse to get rid of her (sorry if that sounded harsh). I would also stop calling it "MY TERMINATION"... there was a poor fit - you needed a little flexibility and they were unwilling to support that need. that's all. I do agree you may need to get yourself a bit more organized, but finding a company that is less strict about the EXACT TIME you start would be a better place to be overall. Last thing: I would also maybe not say in a first interview "being a mom is my primary job"... that's a little off-putting. I would just say my family is important to me, but so is my job (as you've seen by this thread). Finding a balance is important to me. I dont think you did anything wrong that was not already known (come on, 8 years? seriously.). Changing expectations is just a thing. You are FINE. Good luck to you -

Melissa Sanford

322

06/16/19 at 10:16PM UTC

You may not qualify for unemployment . I’ve seen people who have been fired not receive it. Lay offs yes, terminations no. Good luck

Anonymous

06/16/19 at 10:48PM UTC

I hope that future employers will notice that I was loyal employee for almost 8 years and give me an opportunity to an interview. I was terminated just I was on boarding 3 new clients—bringing in over $2million in deposits!

2 Replies

Saudia Santure

Translator, warrior, advocate

06/17/19 at 2:20PM UTC

Stop saying TERMINATED. You are not Arnold Schwarzenegger. Our expectations evolved, and they were unwilling to flex with my start time. Bam. done. =)

1 Reply

Anonymous

06/17/19 at 10:45PM UTC

Love this! I feel so empowered by this!

Kim Beasley

790

Administrative Professional

06/17/19 at 2:41PM UTC

Don't leave it to fate ("I hope they notice"). You make them notice by noting it in your cover letter. Don't be too disappointed if they don't really care, though. My experience is that most companies really don't care about "loyalty" and most of them don't give it in return, like in your case. I agree with the other comments in this thread: you don't have to say your were fired and you don't have to lie. Just read a comment that said something like "....parted ways because of inflexible schedule" or something like that. That's good!

Kim Beasley

790

Administrative Professional

06/17/19 at 11:40AM UTC

I strongly believe there are other reasons behind the firing! Or, it's just as likely that is how they are going to manage their company. As traumatic as it seems, don't make it traumatic!!! It's NOT YOU, so don't take on that guilty load because it's not yours. You're better off without them because they don't appreciate an honest, excellent employee; they are old-school rigid; and, they don't understand or care about the challenges of "Mom". Screw them. There is something much much better ahead for you!!!

1 Reply

Anonymous

06/17/19 at 2:21PM UTC

YES, agree.

HILYEDUCATED

284

I AM A GOOD WOMAN

06/17/19 at 3:31PM UTC

Where you tardy prior to having the children? Did this start after the first one or the second one? Have many times were you approached about your attendance problem? You are not telling us the entire story. I worked with a woman who had a child in junior high who was habitually late. It was always 5-10 minutes which does not sound to long but it did delay the start of many projects each day or deadline meets. It is very frustrating. So, did you give it a good try to adjust your timing to leave with screaming kids to get to work on time, was the option of having a sitter come in so you could leave available? You need to provide more background information before a true solution or advice can be forthcoming. From what you provide, from what you do provide, it isn't your age that should save your job, it is your age that should teach you better not to do what you have done.

ANDREA HERRERA

508

Human Resources Leader living in NYC

06/17/19 at 8:54PM UTC

Couple of thoughts: 1. Is there somebody that you used to work with there that you could get a reference from/use as a reference? 2. Do you have a strategy for explaining how you will avoid this in the future with potential employers? For instants either you’re going to need an amount of flexibility in the morning, or this is your plan moving forward so that this doesn’t happen. 3. Be prepared to be accountable for your behavior without “blaming” yourself… Your need for flexibility in the morning and your willingness to work hard and accomplish your job with excellence are not mutually exclusive. Personally I find it hard to believe that projects, or meetings were delayed by somebody being 5 to 10 minutes late, most places I’ve worked nobody gets productive for the first half hour because they’re spending that time checking email grabbing coffee, etc.

ANDREA HERRERA

508

Human Resources Leader living in NYC

06/17/19 at 8:57PM UTC

P.S. and can I just suggest some Grace. Grace for yourself, and grace with each other ladies… There is nothing harder than being a mom. Moms that work outside the home, by choice or by necessity face real challenges in a workforce dominated by men.