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Anonymous
10/24/19 at 9:32AM UTC
in
Parenting

Tough day - when to apologize for not being the best mom?

I had one of those days where I snapped at my kids, had very little patience and just generally was not the best mom. I felt like apologizing to them but then thought it might make things worse because they may be too young to understand. When do you think children are old enough to understand that sometimes the way that their parents behave has nothing to do with them and everything to do with what else is going on (e.g. stressful day at work, argument with husband, etc etc)?

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Gillianne Hetrick
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426
HR Manager & Non-Profit Director
10/30/19 at 2:01AM UTC
I agree with all the advice, apologize. Explain that mom can have a hard day. Explain that it is not the child's job to take the burden of mom's bad day, and that it's not their job to fix it. It's okay for everyone to be human, it's not okay to pretend you are not. Your children will be better friends, better co-workers, better people for you being real with them and explaining with love how everyone has a breaking point and it isn't the last straw that caused the snap but all the ones piled on before. My daughter and I discuss emotions every time she has a tough day and when I have tough days. We also discuss the emotions on awesome days :)
Melissa Nicholson
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1.12k
The U.S. job share expert | workmuse.com
10/24/19 at 12:37PM UTC
I took a parenting course called Empathy Parenting and learned that no matter the age toddler to teen, how we react is everything and nearly all our reactions have more to do with our mental state than their melt down. But it's hard! I always own up, apologize, and make sure they know I love them.
SophieG
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226
10/24/19 at 9:24AM UTC
Apologise. You set a wonderful dynamic of acknowledging fault, apologising, seeking forgiveness. They are never too young, and they are surprisingly good at learning even quite complex emotional elements at a young age
User deleted comment on 10/24/19 at 2:35AM UTC
Mary Ann Ganit
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36
Accounting Specialist in PH
10/24/19 at 1:10AM UTC
Hi Momof4, i also experienced that especially when I'm working before, I'm so tired and I got easily angry with them. If you think their wrong make them realize their wrong and then give them sometime to make them realize it and then afterwards if you think your attitude towards them is wrong you have to talk to them and tell them sorry if you had acted wrongly and explain to them that you love them. We love our children and we want the best of them but we are not perfect so don't bit yourself on that. Give time to your kids, play with them. God bless you and your family!
Anonymous
10/24/19 at 1:15AM UTC
Thank you for your thoughts...I know I cant be alone in this but it makes me feel much better to hear that others have been there too!
Rose Holland
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935
10/24/19 at 1:05AM UTC
Children are never too young to learn it is OK to make mistakes and that you need to apologize when you do.
Anonymous
10/24/19 at 1:15AM UTC
Ok yes that is true. I get that its important to model behavior. I guess I didn't ask my question well....I guess an apology is in order but should I try to explain it? Or put another way, have you done so or seen it done in a way that you would recommend?
Ami Kumiga
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41
Healthcare marketing and communications
10/24/19 at 2:38AM UTC
Yes definitely explain it. They understand far more than we realize they do, and you’d be surprised how much they pick up on. Just keep in simple for very young kids. “Mommy had a bad day, but it’s nothing that you did wrong, and I’m sorry. I love you, and we all have times we forget to sing the Daniel Tiger song.”
Anonymous
10/24/19 at 10:45AM UTC
I love it! Know exactly which song you're talking about.

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