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FGB’ers who’ve gotten married, how much was your wedding?
One of my closest friends is in the middle of wedding planning and she’s pretty upset with how much everything is to costing. I’m someone who’s been there before, so I kind of wanted to laugh. Because it’s hard to really grasp the financial burden it can be unless you and your partner decide to start planning an event like that for yourself.
Because let’s be honest, hosting a party for your big day, including a wedding and reception can make a serious dent in your wallet (although, it doesn’t have to be!).
Our cost was $55k for the day’s festivities — with major purchases including the venue, food, alcohol, the band, a photographer, the dress, the tux, flowers, transportation and I’m sure a number of other details I’m missing. Since this is a supportive, non-judgmental community, I had to ask! For those who’ve gotten married, how much was your wedding day? And if you want to add more, what was the most expensive part?
And if you’re married and didn’t have a wedding/reception, what did you do (if anything) to celebrate and how much was that?
Jeanne Rowden Dansby
99
02/01/20 at 2AM UTC
Less than $500. We got married lakeside at sunset in the west/moonrise in the east and yes, it was a full moon. Family only, cake and champagne. It was perfect.
lisajae
15
01/29/20 at 6:42PM UTC (Edited)
I got married 2 years ago and it was supposed to be a small reception. But it turned into this lavish reception that cost a little of $25K. I remember the caterer alone was $12K. I would not do it again. I rather build a new walk in closet, take a trip to Japan, get a new deck or buy property. I loved it and it was fun, but I told my fiance' at the time we were spending too much money on just a reception.
It could have been more, but we had about 125 guests. I looked for mostly start up and women owned businesses as they are often less expensive then the main stream companies.
We ordered all the decor and from Zazzles.com. We purchased tablecloths instead of renting them. Some of things that I did not expect to pay for were different chairs. Of course you want the cute chairs and not the standard chairs.
The venue was and old ballroom dancing hall, which in itself was stunning, so the venue was no more that 2K, but the Bartender, the musicians, the covering for the chairs, flowers for the reception area plus flowers for the physical reception.
My dresses were tailored (not sure whose idea that was),
Anonymous
01/28/20 at 4:14PM UTC
My wedding is in 6 months in northern NJ. It will be $40K +/- $2K, not including our honeymoon. I’ve hired almost all my vendors so the costs are real. The venue is definitely the most expensive as I have about 160 guests and venue is a little over $20K. And that is a deal for a lot of venues around here. Ways to save I think are look for less expensive venues, email save the dates and/or invites, transportation for you/bridal party (if same venue for ceremony and reception you may not need transport), don’t get the extra frills that vendors provide like a dessert station after reception or monogram light display,etc., also if you have any friends that could cover things like hair and make up, or home made centerpieces, etc. We are having a traditional wedding at a church and then going to the venue and we aren’t splurging any extras so $40-$50K is pretty average for wedding in our party of the country.
Alicia PiconeSocial Justice Advocate, Student, Mom
781
01/22/20 at 6:09PM UTC
I got married (for the second time) in 2014 - the wedding cost less than $10K. There were 100 people, it was amazing, and people are still talking about it.
What did we do?
1. First of all network - network - network. Someone you know knows someone who knows someone. Name dropping works wonders.
By networking, I had a photographer, DJ, photobooth, and venue that are top notch but I got for discounts. My makeup artist was a friend of my son's and did my makeup as a wedding gift. So ask your friends, ask social media, talk up the people at the weddings where you go that you like.
2. Every time you go to sign a contract, ask yourself the question - "When I'm married ten years, and I'm going to be thankful I spent this money?"
For example
A - we did NOT have an open bar. We had our reception in a Portuguese restaurant that specialized in Sangria. We offered our guests unlimited beer, wine and sangria, and there was a cash bar - I believe TWO families utilized it. I saved $12/person (open bars are RIDICULOUSLY expensive).
B - we did not "flower" the church. Getting married on a Saturday, if you're getting married in a church, the flowers are generally already there for Sunday service. Don't waste money on things no one cares about. NO ONE will comment on how the church is decorated.
C - We did not waste money on videography. It's a personal choice, but I don't know of anyone that actually sits down and watches the damn thing. With smartphones now, people video the most important parts anyway and post them on social media.
D - I made my own centerpieces. Again - no one cares, and they're all going to be left over at the end. If the venue can supply them, let them.
E - My dress was less than $200 (caveat - it was also fire engine red LOL). it had a bustle, and a train, and it looked amazing, and since the wedding, it's been sitting in the garment bag. I'm glad I didn't spend thousands on THAT.
F - Limos are ridiculous. I had a large bridal party and only about a mile between reception/church, so I rented a school bus for $250. No one cared.
G - Cake - $200 from Shop Rite. I kid you not. And it was gorgeous - and tasted amazing.
It's all personal preference, but there is no need to spend thousands of dollars. People are still talking about my wedding and how much fun it was, how good the food was, etc.
Yeah, we'd all like to have the wedding of the century, but when push comes to shove, at the end of the day, you're just as married.
Eva Jannotta (she/her)Amplify your influence.
171
01/22/20 at 6:03PM UTC
I'm getting married in May, and I'm hoping to keep it around $15k for about 80 guests. Fingers crossed! We're doing a pretty pared down version, but it does cost to feed people!
Corrine Taylor-ChinWriter & Web Production Professional
108
01/22/20 at 3:11PM UTC (Edited)
A little over 30K, but for NYC area, that's pretty great. Our venue, with included food, cost the most. And our entertainment (photo booth, performers and musicians, dj, photographer, videographer) cost any 10K. We spent the least on ourselves which was totally fine! Our family helped with some cost, otherwise we would have scaled back.
And we lucked out and won a honeymoon trip to Bahamas!
M Elizabeth IngramHR, administration, & benefits at work; mom of 2
731
01/21/20 at 3:55PM UTC
$10k in 2014. We had about 150 people. My biggest regret was using my husband's suggestion for a photographer; she was his ex and took more pictures of people from church than my family...luckily one of my uncles took a lot of great ones too.
Danielle Bolbach
16
01/21/20 at 7:07AM UTC (Edited)
Just got married in October 2019, spent just under $15K (not including honeymoon.). We had an amazing back yard wedding at a friends home at sunset with about 75 guests. Our wedding took a village in that all of our friends helped out. One friend took on the role of wedding planner and he made most of our decorations and centerpieces, planned the lighting. One friend who used to own a bar tapped into her network and gifted us a bar tender and two “staff” to keep things flowing and cleaned up throughout the night. Another friend was our officiant. And still another friend who is a popular morning show DJ at a local radio station acted as our wedding DJ. Another friend usdmed to have a catering business and still had plates and utensils so i didn’t have to rent those.
Our biggest expense in order were:
Photographer
Food
Rentals (tables chairs linens, etc)
I estimate that our friends saved us $5k by pitching in.
For the cake we had a small 6” cake at each table on an antique footed cake plate witH a wreath of flowers underneath which acted as beautiful centerpieces. Each table had a different styled cake plate and a different flavor cake. Guests had fun cutting their own cake and visiting other tables to negotiate for their favorite flavor.
Word of caution that a backyard wedding is NOT cheaper than a wedding venue and in some ways more stressful. Only recommend if you have a solid support team or hire a coordinator/planner.
Purplet24
13
01/21/20 at 4:33AM UTC (Edited)
We spent about 20K on our wedding. The most expensive part is getting a wedding planner. We had only 90 days to plan our wedding and everything so I decided to get a wedding planner. To save some sanity lol. She designed our altar and our reception from table centerpieces, flowers, bouquets, table clothes and chair clothes she baked our wedding cake and macarons. She bought the plates, napkins, plastic wares, and cups. They are the ones that cleaned up the tables and the whole reception also. So I guess I get every bit of what pay for. We have about 100 to 150 guests. A close friend of mine recommends the photographer and the DJ. I ask two of my close friends that loves to cook if they can cook for my wedding and they just let me pay for all the ingredients they will need. I have ordered my souvenir, accessories and invitations online. I didn't have bridesmaids. I only have a Maid of honor and my husband only had a best man. Overall it's a wonderful and magical wedding. And I would loved to do be on it again if I could.
Anonymous
01/21/20 at 12:54AM UTC
My husband and I spent $35K in 2000 for 200 guests in Sonoma wine country (SF Bay Area). At the time it felt like a lot of money but we also saved on many things. Our biggest expense was the caterer. I was grateful that our venue allowed us to bring in our own booze. We had a full open bar and a wide range of alcohol. We even had a shuttle to the hotels so that guests didn't have to drive. We spent $4500 on the photographer but we loved our photos, so it was worth it. I made the invitations and programs, designed the dresses (working with a tailor--I used to work in dress design), so we were able to save there. We opted for pre-recorded music (7 different CD's at the time, put together by a friend who was a dj then). That saved some money and allowed us to have a range of music. (We still had to rent a sound system and hire someone to run it.)
Destination weddings are a great way to save. We've had friends do it. Fewer attendees, honeymoon built in!
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