Ok, so here is the deal....i was very confused and conflicted for the longest time, forty three years I did my utmost to live up to the expectations of being assigned male at birth. 43! That was when I stumbled upon a bit of truth of transsexualism and spent ungodly hours researching daily, a total of about 400 working hours in 14 days. Then I understood the conflict of truly being female stuck in the wrong body. I felt tremendous relief and shortly after began the transition. That was 15 1/2 years ago. During this journey I still experience discord within me, again some more research and realized I have two spirits dwelling in me. Two-spirit we are called in many cultures. Cool, it helps me so much with this mix of masculine and feminine.... sometimes one side is more dominant than the other and it’s still a struggle coping with my male aspect. Especially since I still have too much facial hair requiring daily shaving which I truly realize I hate. But living on disability in the most expensive island, the most expensive state still creates dysphoria. I hate this, let alone the anxiety disorder it feeds. Mostly I just block it out..... what else can I do?