Why am I freaking out about turning 30?

Question

I've had this goal that I'm going to buy property abroad once I turn 30 and as I've been telling my family my goal - I'm realizing 30 is a lot closer than I realized ahahaha. Help! Age is just a number right? Is setting goals by an age actually hurting me?

Annetta Moses · Answer

There is a quote that I believe fits this discussion. 'Shot for the moon and if you miss at least you will be amongst the stars.' Yes, I believe in setting SMART goals. As such the goal must be Specific, Measurable, Achievable (realistic), Relevant, and Time-bound. If you set a goal you need to give yourself a due date in 5, 10, 15 years or before you turn 30, 40, 50. Once your have the goal, you need to develop a plan. Potentially one part of the plan for owning property was to save money for the down payment,. Part of saving may have involved creating a budget and following it. It is likely that if you are following your plan you will achieve your goal. However,  life happens and a goal that you set for yourself may no longer interest you or conditions have changed that require you to make a new plan to achieve the same goal.
Each year in Jan, I re-evaluate my personal goals and plans. Some years I don't make any changes and other years I added and deleted goals.

Erin Howard-Reid · Answer

I don't even know what I'm going to have for dinner tonight - so how in the world will I know if I reach a goal in a few years?

It's always great to dream about - and even plan ahead - for the future. It keeps us motivated through the mundane. Yet everyone's story along the way will be filled with different plot-twists, new and returning characters and even evil step sisters and villians.

No good story goes step by step by step to reach a happy ending. That would be boring. No one flocked to see the many  reboots of Spider Man to see him save New York over and over. There was this will they/won't they thing with Mary Jane, his relationship with Uncle Ben and the fact he was only a kid. If each Spider Man movie was just about him saving the world - it wouldn't be a good story.

But the one thing all great characters have in common is this: They strive for more. It's not important to focus on goals or experiences - but your desire for more.  Spider Man didn't just want to save New York - he wanted a good life.

Now if you are able to reach your goal - great! If not, it can make an even better story. Also, as someone who turns 35 in December, 30 is really, really young. You're still growing in so many ways and you'll get there eventualy - even if it feels like it takes an eternity.

Maggie B · Answer

Setting a goal tied to an age has never been healthy for me because when I was younger, I didn't realize how many steps it truly takes to truly do those things.  I wanted to be married and have kids by 30 - which in college seemed great, until I realized how toxic my relationship was.  I adjusted.  I wanted to buy a house by 30.  Well.  You need money to do that, and I graduated in the recession.  So I adjusted.
I bought a house with my partner two months ago at the ripe and ancient age of 34 and I don't think I could be happier.  Things have to happen in their own time when you're financially and mentally ready for them.

Eva Jannotta (she/her) · Answer

Oooh, good question! Friends and I were just talking about this: we know people who have 'X Things To Do Before I Turn 30' lists, and at least for us, it just produces anxiety. First of all, there's no law that you have to do everything 'cool' before 30. Like you say, it's an arbitrary number. While I think it can be helpful to have deadlines for goals so that you don't put them off forever, sometimes the age REALLY doesn't matter. And, your goals will change over time, so it's important to make space for that.

I turned 30 this month, and I'm thrilled. I had a freak-out before I turned 29 though, because I realized how much I identified with being an 'entrepreneur in my 20s'. But honestly, I like myself more and more every year so getting older feels pretty great.

Nicole Farr · Answer

I’ve set similar goals in my life. I am a decade ahead of you  and  I’ve met some goals and others have not turned out. My advice is to be flexible with your goals no matter what they are.  And try not to put so much pressure on yourself some goals we have no control of due to economic times or societal trends. Enjoy your 30’s!

Why am I freaking out about turning 30?

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