My STBEx have been married for 20 years and our relationship has completely deteriorated over the last decade. He has gotten into a physical altercation with our 15 year old son (son ended up with a black eye), and threatened to harm relatives on my side of the family. He berates me in front of our children. Just today he let me know I was never his equal because I put my career in hold to raise our three children. He is also threatening to withhold my share of the tax refund because I don't deserve that money since I'm not the one who is currently employed. Meanwhile, he quit his full-time job with no savings to fall back on and the little bit of income I receive (an annuity from a relative that died a few years back) is what has been paying the household expenses (in addition to using credit cards). I am now in a ridiculous amount of debt due to his lack of judgement and a small portion of our tax refund could have alleviated some of this debt. I believe he is purposefully saddling me with this debt because he's been hinting at being done with the marriage. I don't know how to safely leave this marriage with my children with this much debt since I no longer have any leftover money to use as savings. I'm desperate, lost, and unsure of my next steps.