Dear community, I'm reaching out to ask for advice regarding a conversation I had with my manager last week.
My company still does whf so my team usually chats on teams, and would usually have several catch up meetings throughout the week. My manager has been skipping these meetings a lot lately, while still catching up with our two other team mates.
I asked for a catch up last week, and he agreed but seemed very salty from the start. I continued to report on my tasks but then could not bear it anymore and said that I was feeling some tension between us.
I should mention that at this point it was 5 minutes to 6pm and that we were communicating in Japanese (it's a Japanese company and my manager is Japanese).
He did not admit it at first but then said my messages I had sent that day made him wonder whether I was "having some issues in my private life".
I explained there week no such issues at all and that I'd appreciate it if he pointed out which messages he referred to.
He then said "So you don't know? I see, you don't get it...". He then pointed out that message in question and asked me to tell him how I felt about this message and why I had sent it. It was a message in our team group chat regarding something I had found on our Social Media channel.
I explained why I sent it (which was because I thought it is something that ought to be shared), but he went on to ask whether I felt this message was appropriate. At that point it was already well past 6 and I felt how I slowly started to panic.
I apologised so he would stop. He then started to explain what he did in response to my message and that he had been talking to others and delegated work because "I didn't seem to understand what I was supposed to do and that I probably couldn't do it anyway because I was due to go on holiday the following day".
Our "catch up" ended with him pointing out two mistakes that I had done that week (including a task that I hadn't been able to do because I had other tasks with a higher priority, which he apparently didn't see as a valid reason).
I have been thinking a lot about this conversation over the past days and since I have had mainly unpleasant experiences with previous managers, I can't help thinking there is something wrong with my behaviour at work - although I know it can't only be me as all of said managers had a bad reputation and eventually ended up getting laid off or being prosecuted...
I am a positive person who likes to interact with others and I have been enjoying this job for the most part, that's why it makes me even more sad to go through this bs once again.
I am also considering to talk to HR but I haven't had the best of experiences with HR in past companies (they usually stick with the managers)...
Have you ever found yourself in the same situation again and again after changing jobs? How could I avoid ended up in these situations?
Thank you (and apologies if my English seems to be a little off, English isn't my first language).
A BIG thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read this post and gave advice. I am so glad I reached out to this community.
A little update: looks like my manager spoke to HR shortly after our conversation. I went to speak to HR today to speak about my contract (I didn't mention our conversation) and it was obvious that they had talked and when I asked, they told me they had and that my manager would very likely speak to me about my contract in a few days....
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