icon
Home icon

Home

Jobs icon

Jobs

Reviews icon

Reviews

Network icon

Network

Resources icon

Resources

|For Employers icon

For Employers

logo
about
careers
FAQs
privacy policyterms & conditionsfor employers
112k
20k
icon
© 2022 Fairygodboss. All rights reserved.
My ProfileMy MessagesMy NetworkMy SettingsGroupsEventsMy PostsLog Out
Mystery Woman
Tell us more for better jobs, advice
and connections
YOUR GROUPS
Discover and join groups with like-minded women who share your interests, profession, and lifestyle.
COMPANIES YOU FOLLOW
Get alerted when there are new employee reviews.
YOUR JOB ALERTS
Get notified when new jobs are posted.
Your post is published!
Anonymous
02/05/19 at 8:36PM UTC
in
Career

Mole in the middle

What is the best way to handle a co-worker who sits between you and another cool co-worker, and reports back to others on you or gossips? Keep in mind, they do have their "good" days and can be funny at times, but plays both sides.

Share

Join the conversation...
Tarah Keech
star-svg
559
Life Coach, Leadership Coach, Retreats
02/13/19 at 2:42AM UTC
Such a tricky balance! Sounds like she really needs some boundaries herself. She's looking for leverage because she's insecure and when we (humans) have scarce information, it's a type of power - albeit ultimately elf-destructive. She is not a friend. She is not a safe place. She's proven that. My advice is to leverage her as much as you need to and be a closed book otherwise. For example, if you need others to see your side on something, get her alliance. You can even ask her opinion if you want to get a pulse on what others might be thinking or hearing from her For all other matters, only share what you would want your boss to know - including details about your family and personal life.
Ann G
star-svg
70
02/13/19 at 4:03PM UTC
Excellent advice! Thank you.
Ceci
star-svg
1.91k
02/06/19 at 11:33AM UTC
It’s fun to have a coworker you bond with who is more than a colleague and a general friend. One of my coworkers was in my wedding! But I’d assume that everything you say out loud at work is public information.
Ann G
star-svg
70
02/06/19 at 12:35PM UTC
True! But when the mole acts like a confidant, then digs and runs into their hole, it's disheartening. And they try to manipulate you... knowing they've just said something that crosses a boundary, they will throw a compliment your way or ask how your family is to smooth it over.
Anonymous
02/05/19 at 10:01PM UTC
I've been caught in this before! Ultimately I had to commit to only saying out loud what I'd feel comfortable with that person sharing with others. While it can be difficult to feel like you're censoring yourself, it can also motivate you to keep work conversations positive.

You're invited.

See what women are sharing on Fairygodboss.
What's new today
wand-button
Personalize your jobs
Get recommendations for recent and relevant jobs.
Employer Reviews
Quest Diagnostics
3.5
Join the Quest Women's Leadership community so you can...
Marsh McLennan
4.6
When you are being interviewed by the hiring manager and...
Recent Content
4 Subtle Habits That Influence Team Morale — And How Best to Implement Them
‘We Have to Humanize the Workplace:’ 3 Traits This Director Says You Need to Excel in Engineering
Expert Advice for Growing an Empowering Career at a Great Company — From a VP of Talent Development
icon
© 2022 Fairygodboss. All rights reserved.
  • about
  • careers
  • FAQs
  • privacy policy
  • terms & conditions
112k
20k