Mole in the middle

Question

What is the best way to handle a co-worker who sits between you and another cool co-worker, and reports back to others on you or gossips?  Keep in mind, they do have their 'good' days and can be funny at times, but plays both sides.

Anonymous · Answer

I've been caught in this before! Ultimately I had to commit to only saying out loud what I'd feel comfortable with that person sharing with others. While it can be difficult to feel like you're censoring yourself, it can also motivate you to keep work conversations positive.

Ceci · Answer

It’s fun to have a coworker you bond with who is more than a colleague and a general friend. One of my coworkers was in my wedding! But I’d assume that everything you say out loud at work is public information.

Tarah Keech · Answer

Such a tricky balance! Sounds like she really needs some boundaries herself. She's looking for leverage because she's insecure and when we (humans) have scarce information, it's a type of power - albeit ultimately elf-destructive.

She is not a friend. She is not a safe place. She's proven that.

My advice is to leverage her as much as you need to and be a closed book otherwise. For example, if you need others to see your side on something, get her alliance. You can even ask her opinion if you want to get a pulse on what others might be thinking or hearing from her

For all other matters, only share what you would want your boss to know - including details about your family and personal life.

Mole in the middle

You're invited.

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