I work at a small company. A few years ago, I was chairing a staff meeting when a male. colleague and I engaged in an argument about a client. The colleague became angry, called me an expletive and stormed our of the room. I immediately told HR and the head of the company. They sent the offending colleague home for the day and said they took care of it but he refused to apologize. We do not speak to each other and it’s uncomfortable to work there now.
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11 Comments
11 Comments
Carrie Topolski
2.22k
Empowering women and beyond!
04/10/19 at 7:52PM UTC
Have to break the ice. Have you tried talking to them about the situation? Maybe try forgiving instead of seeking an apology and try talking about why you both got upset and to this point.
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1 Reply
Anonymous
04/10/19 at 8:46PM UTC
It’s more complicated than that. Recently he’s been named the de-facto head of the department, but they know they have a problem on their hands with him. They don’t make me report to him and keep him out of review sessions where he might be with others. You have to understand, he insulted and humiliated me in front of other colleagues and support staff. I don’t think his refusal to apologize would be tolerated at another company, yet he walks around with impunity. His behavior flies in the face of our sexual assault and harassment seminars and company policy. I think it may be time I me to seek legal advice.
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2 Replies
PenelopeSage
849
04/10/19 at 9:35PM UTC
If you have ways to document sexual assault and harassments to show HR, do so! Also, no one deserves to work in that kind of environment. I truly hope you find another job if HR continues to brush this off. So sorry you're going through this.
1 Reply
Chris Costello
21
04/10/19 at 10:11PM UTC
I kept contemporaneous notes from the time it occurred, the names of all present, who and when I reported it to and what they said. If this had happened more recently, in our more enlightened climate, I believe he would have been fired. I think they know they’re sitting on a time bomb.
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Carrie Topolski
2.22k
Empowering women and beyond!
04/11/19 at 11:36AM UTC
Sorry, I didn't realize it was to that extreme. Definitely document and have HR keep it on file. That should definitely not be tolerated.
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Sam Spica
2.84k
Communications Manager at FGB
04/10/19 at 8:53PM UTC
Talk to HR again! If they're aware that he's a problem and still don't do anything after you say something again then you might have to consult a legal professional to see what you can do.
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Anonymous
04/10/19 at 9:22PM UTC
A few years ago?? I feel like that's a long time for something like that to still fester. Either clear the air or ignore him.
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Ariana Nunez
358
Sprints and meetings in NYC.
04/11/19 at 3:17PM UTC
First of all, you sound like a very intelligent person. It sounds like you like working for this company, if not, you wouldn't have posted the topic on FGB. If you have proof of the situation, then I would definitely seek legal counsel. This way, you can at least get your apology or they can give you proper compensation for your "pain and suffering" so to speak. One has to remember, HR isn't for the employee, they are there to protect the business or organization.
1 Reply
Anonymous
04/11/19 at 7:37PM UTC
If I were to bring a suit against the company, I would most certainly have to leave. To sue them while continuing employment there would be untenable. I’ve worked at this company for many years, much longer than the offending colleague, and I’m not about to start looking for another job. Quite frankly, if I could afford it, I’d retire. I don’t think any of the newer employees even know what happened and I don’t talk about it either. I feel if I decide to pull the trigger I need to be lawyered up and have my office packed up too.
1 Reply
Ariana Nunez
358
Sprints and meetings in NYC.
04/11/19 at 7:42PM UTC
Then I agree with the anonymous comment above mines. "Either clear the air or ignore him." Sounds like have seniority over him, and don't have to work with him day to day. Keep pushing through til you're able to retire. Things might get better.
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Jess Stetson
122
Builder. Collaborator. Postpartum advocate.
04/11/19 at 11:56PM UTC
I would go to HR and tell them how I feel and ask for a mediated discussion with a neutral third party. That’s an ideal universe though. Is that a possibility? I say ideal bc I ideally this is what I would do, but I usually don’t have the guts. ?
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