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Anonymous
03/07/19 at 3:55PM UTC
in
Career

How do I stay motivated in a toxic office?

You can see that you're being set up to fail by a well-connected, toxic coworker. You can't win. You should quit, but it's not a good time to change jobs. How do you stay motivated and keep doing your best when you know it's not going to get you anywhere? How do you keep your sanity?

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Anonymous
03/11/19 at 8:43PM UTC
I just heard about the "gray rock" technique from the Gayle King interview (she did amazing!). It sounds like what a lot of you are suggesting. I need to read up on it!
Crystal Rhineberger
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2.29k
professional rofl nevermind lets just wing it
03/11/19 at 3:32PM UTC
A deep breath, this is way beyond stressful, this is affecting your quality of life. Confidence and quiet are the best ways to stand up for yourself. Lavk of participation of the negative tends to make the other party stop or at least not bring it up to you. Emotional investments at work are so draining in these enviroments. Also the self help section at the library may have some techniques to help make an emotional reserve wall. And maybe reviewing your personal budget to stock some money away? 50.00 here and there can build enough over a bit of time to give you feelers for possibly a new position elsewhere. Payments ahead on accounts and stayng off credit cards can help this as well
Anonymous
03/08/19 at 10:30PM UTC
Wow oh wow, been there and it's tough because you are working for a reason and when you come across a toxic personality it feels like you walking a tight rope to keep your job. I am going through this right now with one co-worker who thinks, mind you, thinks she's my manager and reprimanded me in front of customers the other evening. I politely told her this was neither the place or time for her reprimand. Remember, toxic people are toxic to others for a reason that does not include you. Just remain calm and if push comes to shove document, document, document and then start with the chain of command, because her actions towards you is/has created a "hostile work" environment. When presenting your problem stick to the facts, in other words remain objective not subjective. Two weeks ago, I had to do just that, I was being blamed for something I didn't do, and the bank records proved my point, it was factual which couldn't be explained away. You will come across many people of this caliber, just don't play into their antics as the old saying goes "Misery loves company!" Wishing you all the best!
Soyoung Choi
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55
Seasoned career woman with CS, IT and Stat
03/07/19 at 6:34PM UTC
I wholeheartedly agree with what Ladyboss427773 said. Matter fact, I am going through similar situation at work right now after many bureaucratic changed has been placed in my division. For me, I am trying to focus more on things that I important to me, my family and myself. I try to come to work with positive notes, try to stay positive and leave as soon as I can when my work is done. In the mean time, I am searching for move. I initially thought it is not a good time to move either but, I thought that I cannot let this toxic environment eat me alive. Therefore, I started searching for new job and building a plan to find a better place for myself. If I am not happy, no one around me are happy. My sanity is more important than my job. I hope you find the way to go through this difficult time by focusing on your well being and move forward with better future.
Tory Fedel
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270
Talent Curator and Advocate for Gender Equity
03/07/19 at 4:43PM UTC
I think almost every person has been in this situation - so much undercutting happens in the working world across many industries and even if it's not direct, the lack of engagement and commitment to a mission drags a culture of an office down. I agree with Jassmine - there is a personal level of care for yourself to make it through. Affirmations, and personal checks on things that bother you. You mentioned not a good time to make a move, I would argue that there is no good time ever for a lot of things - if you are like me, you're a planner, you want to know the outcome of any risk, how will it reward me and when should I take a predictable leap of faith. Ask yourself, is this good for my health - this toxic workplace? How is this impacting my life outside of work? Are my friends noticing a change? Is it not for the better - am I losing touch with the things that I love and care about because of this toxic atmosphere. If you answer yes to all of these - take a deep breath and start to plan your exit strategy. You are not being forced out, the move will be on your terms, you have the choice and you are in control of your destiny.
Jassmine Riley
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529
Jassmine
03/07/19 at 4:06PM UTC
I’ve been there before and the stress can really be tough. Believe it or not, something as simple as breathing got be through many tough days. I would sit at my desk and inhale, hold it, then exhale slowly. Other times, I would listen to sermons, inspirational messages, and music to help me through. Another thing I did was smiled. Regardless of what that coworker did to me, in passing , I greeted her with a smile and a few pleasant words. But the most important thing was that I kept doing my work. I made sure that all deadlines were met and that I was buttoned up with all of my work. The key to keeping your sanity is ensuring that you stay positive. Remember that YOU chose how you respond to negativity. I certainty hope that things get better for you and if a job change is needed that you find what you’re looking for.

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