Changed Mind

It's been a while since I started to speak my mind. To be specific it's been two years. Decision to share effected my health. Sharing a simple thought to a openion which had a lot of weight scared me. In my whole life I had kept my thoughts and especially how I felt to myself. I know it's hard to believe. I always had in my mind not to create conflict and not to be part of it either. Since I started writing about how I felt which only started after I googled my symptoms like feeling lazy and sad all day long. The continuous search to find who I was and why I feel the way I feel was definitely a journey. Imagine no one believes when you say I feel hopeless all the time. I touched the edge of life and death. When I saw that it was me and not what I was doing or not doing. In depth I wanted to make change. I wanted to get up eveyday and feel happy, but I was not. It was because the commitment I had done or the goal I had set was no longer making sense. As everyday felt like a year. It made me tired and sick by the end of the weekend and not in a good way. I felt like I had nothing to look forward too. The decision to start writing at first was to just pour out all feeling and opinions on a pie that didn't judge me. Soon I felt the need to share. "Make sure that the shadows lined next to you, bring progress to the soul." - Calosha Conchita Gomes This was written by me. The complete fall And the most hardest climb of my life shaped me into the person you see today. It could have gone both the ways, writing changed remove this and opened my mind. Reading through what I wrote made me self evaluate and rethink my choices and decisions. I write about things people avoid sharing or even things that they have hard time accepting. Sharing of opinion out loud made me nervous, made me over think, created this fear that felt undefeatable. But since I started posting, first on facebook and then on instagram. All what I wrote was either in the form of quorts or lengthy thoughts about life, about hope, about progress. kept saying, "I'll know better if I keep writing" , and yes!! It saved me, it changed and it definitely showed me who I was. Now I feel 90% lighter from the day I started writing. Goal - breaking down the journey (imagination) - trust the journey, this will change your mind. The feeling after sharing of opinion has mostly been positive.