Hunched shoulders, sharp glances, and gusty sighs are as contagious as the flu these days.
We often feel irritable, weary, and disheartened.
And maybe we feel this way justifiably.
Maybe life does kind of suck a little.
And we drag ourselves from day to day celebrating our weariness and feeding our irritability.
Often we spend more time complaining about our workload than complimenting our colleagues.
Or we chat about how tired we are more often than we chat about how our sweet doggo or babe learned something new.
We wind up giving away our energy to our negativity and complaints.
And sweet friend, we only have so much energy.
Whether it’s your cup, your spoons, your cares to give, or your universal vibrations, our minds and hearts only have so much energy to put out into our world, and we’re giving it to the wrong things.
In a world where we constantly compare and complain, we need to take back our positivity!
And I know a teeny, small part of you (or maybe a large part of you) feels a little called out by this idea. Or downright opposed to this idea.
Because comparing and complaining is almost a foundational way of finding common ground with other people, and it can be hard to come to terms with letting it go. Even I struggle some days with letting it go.
I’ve even noticed myself doing this when talking about my beautiful wedding last year.
And what the heck! How could I be negative?? My wedding was phenomenal! The weather was PERFECT for an outdoor wedding, and we knew we were gambling with scheduling it for the last weekend in October. (I know, we’re crazy people, but I just KNEW October 27th was our date!)
But it was flipping GORGEOUS, my wonderful father— who has survived two strokes— walked me down the aisle, and I married the love of my life. It was literally perfect.
And in the last two months, in the midst of reminiscing with friends and family over the course of our first anniversary, I’ve caught myself consistently complaining about our DJ. (Like, seriously railing against him).
And to what end?
My complaints don’t change anything. I wasn’t warning brides-to-be to avoid him. All I’ve been doing is wallowing in something negative, when it doesn’t get me anywhere but into an even more negative headspace.
And so I stopped.
I replaced negative DJ comments with compliments to my friends who set up our cute, swanky DIY photo booth!
I started detailed discussions about the amazingness of our catered mac n’ cheese! (YUM!)
I began waxing poetic about our officiant and how beautifully she delivered our ceremony (Seriously, a HUGE shoutout to Amber Wormington for making our day truly, exceedingly, and soulfully full of poetic love!)
Does occasionally venting about ridiculous bosses and deadbeat DJ’s still have a place in our lives? Of course. We totally need to talk about our feelings and experiences. But we also need to notice when we’re doing it, how often we’re indulging in it, and where the bulk of our energy is flowing.
Because it’s important to internalize the idea that you have control over where your energy goes. And you have control over whether or not your mindset is pickled in positive seasonings or negative ones. (I’ve clearly been reading too many canning blogs lately).
You don’t have to let the negativity from one situation frame your mindset for another.
You have choice in how you move forward, sweet friend.
So how do we actually do this?
Here are your Official Action Steps:
>*>*> Listen for your own negative comments and thoughts. Work first and simply on labelling them in your own head. Saying something to yourself like “Whelp, that was negative, wasn’t it?” starts the process of helping yourself be aware of how often you’re thinking negatively. (If you want more guidance on this, here's a good guide to positive self-talk! >*>*> http://braveheartopenmind.com/sign-up-to-get-a-free-pdf-of-kaylas-guide-to-positive-self-talk )
>*>*> Reframe your negative thoughts or comments positively. Sentence starters like “On the flip side…” or “On a more positive note…” can be helpful in guiding your mindset and your conversation.
>*>*> Guide the conversation you’re in towards positive outlooks by asking questions like “What’ll be the most fun part about that?” or “What was the best part of your day?”
Doing these things will feel weird and forced at first, but don’t worry! That’s only because all new habits feel weird and forced to begin with. You are TOTALLY capable of doing small things like this to help guide the energy you have towards celebrating the positive in your life!
Which action step do you think will be easiest to start using today?
Champagne clinks and mac n’ cheese love,
P.S. I want to point out that this stay-positive mentality isn't meant to apply to situations of prejudice or injustice. This is not a philosophy that seeks to dull dissent or gloss over taking action against wrongdoings. You should definitely focus on negative situations or systemic issues that need your attention, love, correction, allyship, and advocation.
P.P.S. I’m sending you love across the internet! From my heart to YOURS!
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Has anyone left their full time toxic job for a contract role ?
I work with a very condescending, micromanaging manager and honestly it makes me sick to my stomach every time she puts a 1:1 on my calendar. I currently have a part time contract role that is way better environment wise, but no benefits. They offered me more hours and I am considering it.
Additional info: Contract role is well paying and is a level up from my current role. So pays more, better environment.
what would you do in my shoes ?
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It's tough to overestimate how effective these two tools — visualization and mindfulness meditation — are when trying to figure out what in the world your dream job really is.
I know this because I've engaged this holistic and empowering method personally and with hundreds of students and clients.
One of the many reasons it's so instrumental in gaining clarity is because we tend to romanticize what we think our dream job is. That can pull us off-course really fast, and we often feel like we've gone too far down that road toward it to turn back, so we're disappointed yet again finding ourselves in a job that's not a great fit.
In today's post on my blog "Reimagine," we look at what visualization and mindfulness meditation are in the context of a dream-job pursuit and how separately and together they can transform your experience.
If you would love to change jobs but have no clue what you’d rather do instead, or you find yourself trying to find a new opportunity but not gaining traction, this approach may be exactly what you need.
You can read it here:
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My manager does not listen.
she will jump in and take the conversation in the wrong direction and provide wrong information.
I tried telling her the client had issues with something, she cut me off and said the contract is under review that’s why the issues. It sounded wrong so I clarified but she further explained the contract being in review. I know my information was clear therefore I believed her. During a meeting with my client I passed along the info and they had no idea there was contract issues and after they emailed my boss and I.
my boss responded that she was not aware of any contact issues. Now the client is confused why I told them there were issues and even questioning my abilities.
She has done stuff like this before, today in a different client meeting she made me look incompetent.
how do I address this with my boss or do I just ignore her when she does it? my worry is sounding childish and being a complainer but I also don’t care to look bad to clients.
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Approaching month 7 of being laid off.
I recently got my job rejection letter after 3 rounds of a (seemingly) successful interview process; which took a total of 2 months, BTW. I am of course left feeling DEFEATED, however. I am wondering if there should have been something within the months-long process I could have done or inquired about etc.? Like a clue to have let me know hey, they aren't as serious about hiring you as it appears. Just in an effort to be better prepared for next time, that was a huge waste of time I actually missed out on the Job Fair
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Lots of people sell their coaching services on this platform.
I think this episode is worth listening to before engaging a Coach.
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May I just vent for a minute? And feel free to commiserate. Over the last 2+ years (actually, probably since mid 2020) I have had countless interviews. Interviews in all shapes and sizes (I'm in HR, by the way, for what it's worth, but I'm speaking as a candidate). I have been in interviews that were the most pleasant experience ever, some where I felt like it was an inquisition (one particular instance, I went through 3 rounds over several months, wasn't really into that job but needed a job, totally thought I bombed it and then when I called to withdraw when I landed my current job, they were upset). Brady Bunch-style Teams interviews. In person with facemasks (which led to one of the worst headaches I ever had). All kinds of different scenarios. And I tolerate them, I do. I applied for a reason, I will follow through and take each rejection in stride and withdraw for what is not a good fit for me. But out of all the different interview styles I've experienced, the one I absolutely hate, is the one-sided recorded video. Hate. Double hate Looooathe that style. I just did one last week (second time in my career I have had to) and I almost withdrew my application once I realized that was the next step. Anyone else find those particularly torturous?