How can I 'up' how I am perceived at work?

Question

I am the office manager at my firm. I do not manage people...I manage the office. I have been here 6 years so I am a 'go to' person on many topics. I just sense that I am not as respected as I would like to be. I would like to 'up' how I am perceived, regarded and respected.  Our office attire is business casual. I keep it pretty basic with black pants, bright sweaters, scarves etc. I would love to wear heels as I think they change how you are perceived, but due to foot issues, I cannot. One example of a time when I did not feel respected/treated as a manager: I was talking with an instructor from Red Cross who had just led our office through CPR/AED training. This was a debrief on how the sessions went and what was coming up tomorrow. A coworker,  junior to me in longevity, just busted in and started commanding the conversation. She would not have done that to a senior manager. Maybe this is just a rude, ill-perceptive person. But overall, I would like to get some feedback.  Thank you!

Pavamora0307 · Answer

Thank you, Rose. Yes, I think checking in with a senior manager is a good idea. I appreciate the feedback.

Rose Holland · Answer

Have you talk to senior managers in the company or a mentor of what you could do?

It might be that you need to look at how you feel yourself.  It sounds like it goes beyond your clothing since a younger colleague felt she could barge in and take over the meeting. Is it possible to get a mentor in your company if not perhaps reach out To someone who you respect that may be able to give you some mentorship or coaching.

Miranda Wilcox · Answer

First, those who interrupt others usually lack some awareness --of themselves, others, or both! The story you told yourself about what happened (she didn't respect me) is the place where I suspect you have a lot of opportunity.

Definitely solicit feedback. Let people know you want to develop your leadership skills and that their feedback is an important input to understanding how you are perceived now. That becomes your benchmark, from which you can decide what new behaviors you want to focus on in the future.

Keep in mind, you can influence others' perceptions of you, but you can't control them. You can, however, control your own thoughts and behaviors--and if you start to feel more like a leader, others are likely to see you that way too.

P.S. Managing people makes you a manager but not a leader. You have the power to lead!

P.P.S. Here's a blog post I wrote that may resonate with you: https://thrivepotential.com/to-be-or-not-to-be-powerful/

ANDREA HERRERA · Answer

First kudos for seeking to be aware of how you are percieved, its often difficult to take that look at ourselves.  I think in regards to overall perception, definitely check in with a manager you respect.  Then in terms of your actual job, Do you want to move up or change your role, are there areas you can see where professional growth is possible.  When it comes to the 'rude co-worker' I think finding ways to be assertive could be helpful, i.e. saying someting like 'Can you hold that thought, we are just finishing a debrief, then we'll be able to address your question.'  or later speaking to the person privately.

Lucinda Jackson · Answer

Friend me on FB and check out my FB page: Lucinda Jackson. I'm posting each week about how to get the floor, stand up for yourself, and keep speaking when someone interrupts. It took me some time to learn techniques for getting respect and regard and building my own self-confidence.

Maggie B · Answer

Call that crap out as it happens!  That's unprofessional and rude and you deserve better.  All the other advice here is great!

sandmanstone · Answer

I love the idea to seek coaching from a senior manager.  If you approach it less from 'I want to get the respect I deserve' and more from a 'I really want to grow, and be considered a critical part of the organization' you will likely get more helpful feedback.

Some practical ideas to add:
1) Keep a tidy desk (not clear, but organized work) - it is a subtle indication that you are managing things well.
2) Look for examples of senior leaders in your office that you like and others respect.  Pay attention to them and mimic what they do.  Does Mary always have an agenda for meetings?  start writing agendas.  Does Jen always great people warmly by name?  Make sure you great people warmly by name.  Does Beth volunteer at the corporate in-service day?  Sign up for the day.  Does Michelle have great presentations?  Learn how to build great presentations, and offer your services to leaders.

You've got this!  build on the success you have already started, we are pulling for you, Christine

Kimberly Mc · Answer

I think the first thing to do is assess yourself - first off, I think your attire is spot on, as long as the pretty tops aren't TOO casual. I'm a no heels person too, so finding comfortable yet dressier shoes is sometimes difficult. I've been wearing a lot of Easy Spirit mules. Secondly, assess the tasks you're doing and see if there's something 'bigger' or 'harder' you can either help on, or take over. Perhaps less office and more management will change your image. There was a good article on FGB recently about people who always volunteer to help with party planning, bringing food in on birthdays, etc not being seen as technical or as 'strong' as other employees. Are you doing more 'fluffy' things that perhaps aren't things you HAVE to do? Perhaps take a step back from those, if possible. And lastly, I would like to echo what Rose mentioned. If you're to be taken more seriously in the office - it has to come from the top down, because your co-workers will run with how senior leadership sees you. Getting them on your side it essential.

How can I "up" how I am perceived at work?

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