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Am I flailing or failing?
Hey all - I'm the "new kid" on a seasoned team on a tough, open-ended contract. The team doesn't share a ton of intel, nor are they inclusive. Unfortunately, the $ is good, but the experience is not. Am I failing this assignment? Or am I flailing because I need the $? Ugh. Being an adult sucks sometimes.
Essie Yolanda Jackson
Experiencing barriers to employment? Hit me up!
119
03/10/20 at 6:03PM UTC
Hi there, and thank you for your question.
Reframe your question. Make it open-ended.
What are you learning? How are you growing? What are you learning about who you do not want to be? Once you have weeded out who you do not want to be, who do you want to be? At what stage of team development have you entered? What does each person bring to the table, and what can you learn from them, in order to increase your own knowledge, skills, and aptitudes? What are you learning from this assignment - or, better, what do you expect to learn? What do you want to learn? What new skills do you want to acquire?
You see, experience is neither good nor bad. It is what we do with that experience that determines how beneficial and/or how detrimental it is for us as individuals and for the teams on which we work.
Anonymous
03/10/20 at 7:13PM UTC (Edited)
All good points. I'm learning about refocusing and admitting I'm uninterested in repetitive work that doesn't allow me to grow career-wise. We are all remote, and the team (two art directors and a proofreader) has been together for 2-7 yrs. Not sure I'm learning much from them except I need to be more organized. Hard to learn from people who have the process down. I need to learn new skills (social, digital), but unfortunately, there are no opportunities here, as they're still doing Illustrator layouts and PDFs with "stickie notes". I think I just answered my own questions. Thank u!
Essie Yolanda JacksonExperiencing barriers to employment? Hit me up!
119
03/10/20 at 9:19PM UTC (Edited)
You are welcome.
Look into Coursera. There may be some freebie or low-cost certification courses to increase your digital skills and time management. Also, check out Google Applied Digital Skills.
I do not know how to advise you on increasing your social skills, except to encourage you to be sure to make friends who have different diversity elements than you have. Maybe an interactive course in interpersonal communications or motivational interviewing - which is actually more conversational listening than actual interviewing - might be helpful.
One way to ask people who have the processes down-pat is to ask them how they learned this or that technique or where you can learn it, also. Many times, if you ask people to give or show you a step-by-step method, it helps them to feel like they can still teach and learn, which is an important part of interpersonal communication strategies. Be sure to keep your intercultural communications skills up-to-date. Google will probably be your best friend.
Practice, practice, practice with people you know and trust. Social skills may be long investment, but it will be worthwhile. I am not that big on what I call, "socialing," either - especially not in person. (Socializing sounds too peopley. LOL)
Finally, I think you are actually learning a lot more than you are seeing. In addition to learning that you need to be more organized, you are also learning that you do not want to be unapproachable or come off as having everything down-pat. You are learning that you do not want others to perceive you as someone unwilling to learn new effective, efficient ways of collaborating. You are learning that you do not want your teams to have a cliquish feel, and you are learning that when you are in charge of your own team, you do not want them to feel bogged down in the minutiae of tedious work and outdated technology.
Sometimes, it is more important to learn what we do not want to be, because the sky is the limit on what we do want to be, once we weed out the do-not-want-tos. Just keep learning. That will continue to be your most valuable skill.
Hope this helps, also!
Anonymous
03/10/20 at 8:42PM UTC
This is SO great. I wouldn't have thought of any of this. I really appreciate your time and response.
Jackie GhedineCoach for Gen X Women | Jack Russell of Humans
5.84k
03/10/20 at 5:47PM UTC
AnneM523 unfortunately no one can answer that question for you. The best way to address this is to think about what are your core values and how does this job align with them. If financial security is a core value for you, sticking this out may be the right choice. If collaboration is a core value, it may be time to think about your next step.
And yes, being an adult sucks. You don't have to do anything drastic but spend some time soul searching what you want and need in this moment in time.
Anonymous
03/10/20 at 7:07PM UTC
Totally agree - honestly, I've been ignoring/fighting my core values to replenish my savings. I went into it thinking I would learn new things. I'm learning things, but not the ones that can advance my career. Thank you for the clarity!
Anonymous
03/10/20 at 7:25PM UTC
This is kinda related to what I contributed this week in my post. What matters more? core values or the money? What are others doing? I found some companies, but from what I've heard about them politically doesn't make me want to buy from them nor work there but the opportunities I've seen open make me think twice.
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