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Anonymous
04/15/19 at 12:07AM UTC
in
Career

Asking about maternity leave at a tiny startup of all men with very long hours

I've been given a verbal offer (written offer coming in the next day or so) for an awesome position at a small startup company with excellent pay compared to my other offers. It was made clear to me that they expect long working hours, which I'm fine with. I'd be hired for a specialty project to work with one other person, with each of us having completely different expertise. On the flip side, my husband and I have been waiting to start a family for some time, and plan to start trying following my impending graduation. My conundrum: Should I ask about maternity leave, knowing full well the expectations of the company, or should I bring it up only when I become pregnant? Both options risk my offer being rescinded or me being fired (the company is so small that being pregnant/fired for being pregnant would NOT be protected by any law) , but on the other hand, I'd really love to know their thoughts and bring it up in case they end up having an overwhelmingly negative reaction. Thoughts?

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Heather Neal
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741
Remote Strategist + Mom to Rack Kitty!
04/17/19 at 7:18PM UTC
Great job!
Anonymous
04/16/19 at 12:01AM UTC
OP here! I decided to ask, and they were very supportive! They plan to create a policy soon and are very supportive of families and flexible time. I'm very glad I asked, and feel so much better now that I have and received a positive response. Thanks everyone!
Dotster
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42
HR Business Consultant and Friend
04/15/19 at 12:37PM UTC
Sounds like your job hunt is going very well! Congrats! I'd like to weigh in and say that it's probable that the all-male company hasn't even thought about the possibility of you and your husband starting a family soon; more importantly, you aren't pregnant yet, so why bring it up? If you're a stellar employee, they'll find a way to make maternity leave work for you and the company. Typically, start-ups approach benefits as they arise, so it could be they wouldn't have a parental benefit in place until they were faced with the need. As far as the longer work hours versus higher salary, when you work longer hours (I've worked at a start-up with consistent 46 - 50 hours/week), that 'higher pay' tends to level out, so I wouldn't put too much emphasis on the higher salary. Benefits, once you have a baby, is what will become most important. Medical coverage, life insurance, flexible work schedule, vacation/sick time, etc., these are the crown jewels once you begin a family and choose to remain in the workforce. I think bottom line - fair and balanced companies expect their team members to have lives outside of work and generally do what they can to support their hard working team members. If you feel like this start-up group is balanced, equitable, and has a great culture, then accept the role, give them your best and the rest will fall into place.
Anonymous
04/15/19 at 2:34PM UTC
I agree - it's likely they haven't considered a mat leave policy (though one of them recently had a baby, so it's possible it has come up). Your point on "why bring it up if you're not pregnant yet" is the reason I've been hesitating. On the other hand, like another commenter mentioned, I also dislike the thought of not knowing and being afraid that they might turn against me if I do get pregnant, especially if it's earlier than later. My husband and I have been putting it off for years so I can finish my degree, and aren't willing to wait anymore. That being said, I know things don't always happen as planned! You're totally right about the salary - the hourly wage is similar between this job and a 40hr/week job, IF the other two offers only expected 40hrs/week, which is doubtful, but something I will clarify today. Benefits are the company seem to be great, but flexibility on the crazy hours is something I'll try to clarify today over a phone call. Thank you for your comments. They are helpful in thinking this through!
Anonymous
04/15/19 at 6:04AM UTC
Congrats on multiple opportunities! That is so awesome!! I always believe acting from a place of scarcity is not the way to go... Find out what's possible with this place. You can ask about general benefits, keeping in mind how they respond to your questions is good data in itself. Are there any women working at this company?
Anonymous
04/15/19 at 2:29PM UTC
Thank you!! There are no women, from what I understand. Employees are spread over two locations, and though I met all but one, if the last person is a woman, she's not in the same state. This company has made it clear that even though they expect long hours, they want to take care of their employees and allow them to take time off whenever needed, so that's a plus. I also don't want to be wondering if they'll react negatively to a pregnancy interrupting workflow, but at the same time, who knows when it will happen! I think I'm erring on the side of asking, but keep going back and forth..
CabaneStudios
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128
Project Manager / Photographer
04/15/19 at 3:08AM UTC
Once you have children your work/personal needs will change dramatically from where they are now. It will be helpful to collaborate with your husband on sharing the work/life balance once you have children. If you are uncomfortable asking outright what their policies are regarding pregnancy leave, you could ask to see the details of the full benefits package before you sign on the dotted line. With that said - the other positions could have better benefits which could balance out the income difference. I think it's fantastic that you have several offers to choose from. Good luck!
Anonymous
04/15/19 at 2:25PM UTC
Thank you! My husband have been talking non-stop about sharing work/life balance once we have kids. I have no complaints or worries on the husband front :) I did try asking about the full benefits package, but since they don't have an HR, I was just able to get a verbal rundown. They seem comparable and they supposedly have an amazing health insurance plan so the employees can focus on work instead of healthcare. But, good point - I will try to make a more thorough comparison on all the extras that might come with the other institution.
Anonymous
04/15/19 at 12:43AM UTC
I know this isnt the answer you want to hear but I would really question if you should join such a place. Any company that either expects or demands you to work way above average hours consistently is not a healthy place to work. Have you tried playing your offers off of each other to get more money at one of the companies that hopefully wont work you to the bone?
Anonymous
04/15/19 at 12:55AM UTC
On the flip side, I met every employee while I was there and was able to have a one-on-one with each one. They all love working there and working towards their goal; many of them emphasized a "work hard, play hard" mentality. The culture seems great from my perspective; I got along with everyone very well and felt very respected. From my perspective, it would be a completely new world for me, would provide opportunities for advancement, and honestly, I'm thrilled to have been offered the job. The other two offers have significantly lower pay and I expect them to stay that way (though I will ask tomorrow), as they are defined by grant funding. The work at these positions would also be challenging and have longer-than-average hours, but not to the extent of the startup.

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