© 2022 Fairygodboss. All rights reserved.
I’m 27 but look 21 and I think it’s affecting my career.
People are always surprised when they find out my age. They think I’m 5-7 years younger than what I actually am. I know looking younger than I am will be great for aging but honestly, it’s not really benefitting my career right now. It also doesn’t help with the fact that the team I’m on is 80% men.
I see my opinions being taken as cute or thoughtful vs. ideas that should be taken seriously and executed. I’m not shy and I speak up, but I’m not feeling that my team effort is making an impact and I truly think it has to do with the inequality of the team, management and what age I think my team thinks that I am.
Any thoughts or advice on this, FGB’ers?
KATRINE CHOW
Tech Enthusiast | Woman In Games
236
01/22/20 at 1:07PM UTC
I'm in my mid-30s though some people think I look younger and treat me as such. I try to focus on the positives, such as being able to hang out with the interns at work (they think I'm their age) and met some amazing people this way!
Anonymous
01/21/20 at 5:42PM UTC
I don't have much to add, but along with the clothing, maybe update makeup. I am a young looking 46 but makeup always brings my look up.
Katie MaloneSocial Media Manager + Mother to two daughter
1.28k
01/21/20 at 4:18PM UTC
Hi, I have had the same issue throughout my career and now in my mid-30s I actually love that people think I'm like barely pushing 30. BUT I agree with some of the other responses... Dress more professionally/polished -- my director is young and I've noticed she wears a LOT of black and dark colors (kind of like the Steve Jobs effect). Also, until I know a room, I try not to come off as bubbly as I truly am (I'm bubbly and boisterous, so in some people's minds you have to be mean and serious to be taken seriously). But if all else fails, look for a new job. Set your sights on companies that are less male dominated and maybe skew slightly younger -- agencies, startups, web-based -- those types of companies tend to have younger professionals working for them (or at least younger-minded).
Anonymous
01/21/20 at 4:04PM UTC
Lots of great replies here. A few thoughts to add:
- Track your successes. For yourself and to have handy as needed. Women get accused of being defensive. Data talks dispassionately.
- Focus on being a professional peer - not a social one. Friends at work is a bonus. Focus instead on being a peer in meetings, on projects and attaining results.
You deserve your place at the table. Breathe deep, own it and enjoy your success and the opportunities before you.
Lisa Leslie HefterBanking professional
226
01/21/20 at 2:39PM UTC
I also have had that issue my whole career. People tend to be shocked that someone my age has has the positions I have had - at the age I was. I have overcome this by many of the things listed above. Dress and act like a professional and you will be taken seriously by those who know you. With new acquaintances it does usually take some time. It is, long term a good problem, but in your career it is often very annoying. One thing that I’ve noticed is that it’s as awkward/embarrassing for the person who is recognized wrongly because of their age or gender as it is for me. I try to put my feelings aside to give them grace in the moment.
LISA FORSYTHEIntrovert trying to tackle the world of Ed Tech
417
01/21/20 at 2:39PM UTC
I know this all too well. I’ve been in this situation at every company or department I’ve worked at.
meflucasOutsourced CIO with 2+ decades of experience
44
01/21/20 at 2:38PM UTC
Advice with which I agree about sexism vs. ageism and consciousness of word choices (requests not unintended questions) and tone given by others above. On clothing choices, my own experience leads me deviate some of what was shared — I have found not trying to “dress a part” but rather find ways to dress authentically as myself both as a person and physically (short and muscular/stocky) well within the bounds of the dress culture I am in has been more helpful. When I was younger I tried the “dressing the part” but that was just one more thing to deal with during my day. By dressing authentically (and of course appropriately/in keeping with those around me) I have more ability to focus on being appropriately forceful. I feel stronger. So frustrating the world is still this way... I am now 57, still look young for my age but still look middle aged, hoping the somewhat relatively young look helps me in my quest for one more career chapter before retiring. Cruel irony to face ageism again now at this end when I already had it at the other! May the world move to valuing what we do over all else...
Anne Keenan Landlord , Real Estate agent, Life Ins. agent,
113
01/21/20 at 2:17PM UTC
I had the same problem. I still look significantly younger than my age. I solved the problem by starting my own business. I couldn’t stand the pay gap because of my gender or being discounted because of my gender. Interestingly enough, My son has the same problem. He’s nearly 25 and he looks 12. When he works at it he can look as old as 17! He too started his own business and is very successful. He garners respect from older adults by conveying detailed information about whatever it is that he wants them to understand and if possible backing it up with historical or situational facts.
How you dress does help people take you more seriously in my experience. Also attitude helps a great deal. There’s a lot of strong males out there and being able to stand up to them by conveying your ideas in a direct and concise way and if possible backing it up with facts. Men relate to facts and statistics etc.
Good luck. I know you will find a solution that works for you!
Jan RobinSocial Media Pro, Foodie, Avenger.
34
01/21/20 at 1:52PM UTC
In a similar situation here as well. At my job though (and in life) people think I'm 10-15 years younger than I actually am. I have been at my job for almost 7 years and people still think I just graduated college (I was almost 30 when I started and am now newly 36)! I also work with mostly men, many of whom are younger than me with less experience, so I understand how frustrating it can be when your ideas aren't be heard. Often times I would say something which was ignored then a younger male coworker would say the same thing and our bosses thought it was the greatest thing they ever heard.
Anonymous
01/16/20 at 5:03PM UTC
You can't help how you look, but you can improve how you speak and present yourself. What I mean is how do you sound when you speak up? Do you speak clearly, loudly, slowly, etc? Do your statements end in questions? Do you add "ums" and "likes" habitually? Even if ageism/sexism are at play, working on your public speaking adds a lot to your perceived authority/intelligence/etc...(this is coming from 5+ years of experience after working in a male dominated environment!).
© 2022 Fairygodboss. All rights reserved.