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MomLife
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693
Career mom
11/05/19 at 11:58AM UTC
in
Parenting

Thoughts on giving kids timeouts?

No matter your opinion, no judgement here! A family member with a toddler asked me this question the other day and so I wanted to share with FGB’ers as well! From my experience, timeouts give the child and parents time to calm down in a situation and allows the child to learn right from wrong. If you’re not a fan of timeouts, I’d love to hear why. If you’re for timeouts, how long and do you have a designated area their timeout takes place?

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JB09718
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332
11/18/19 at 8:12PM UTC
Agree with previous posts, it’s important to always reconnect after any type of dicipline too. Make sure the child understands what went wrong (I always asked “what could we do better?” or something with a positive tone, this also gives the child an opportunity to explain in their words and gives the caregiver an opportunity to correct. Also maintain eye contact throughout this part) and always end with a big hug. Younger children may not have the skill set to verbalize extensively yet but caregiver can give firm, basic direction. (Example, “no biting friends” hug, back to play) From my experience, it’s also really important to stay consistent with expectations and dicipline method. (Especially if multiple caregivers, parents and nanny/babysitter on same page etc.)
MomLife
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693
Career mom
12/01/19 at 2:02AM UTC
Thank you!
Kimberly Buonomo
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71
Passionate about inclusivity!
11/13/19 at 7:51PM UTC
I am in alignment with everyone else that has commented thus far. We did try the traditional time out as a punishment/reflection time/ calm down time and it has not worked. I truly get the most out of my child if he is asked to take a break and a deep breath. We then ask him why he is upset or why he took xyz action. Doing this helps with him understanding what happened and what truly makes him upset. In my case timeouts do not aid the case if anything makes it worst because it does seem like a punishment and many times too the crime is worth the punishment so it is a loop that goes round and round. Hope this helps!
MomLife
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693
Career mom
12/01/19 at 2:02AM UTC
This does help. Thank you!
Laura Scalone
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212
New Mom looking for New Career Path
11/05/19 at 1:29PM UTC
We believe in one minute for each year our child’s been alive, and we sit with them and try to help them calm down before trying to explain what they can do instead in the future.
MomLife
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693
Career mom
12/01/19 at 2:02AM UTC
Clever. Thanks!
Yi-Hsian Godfrey
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355
CEO, Co-Founder, Wife, Mom, Daughter, Friend
11/05/19 at 1:12PM UTC
At my kids' school, they call it R&R (rest and reflect, reflect and restore.. whatever you want the Rs to be!). I think giving "timeout" a better name helps the kids understand what they are suppose to do during this time. We also stopped putting a time on their R&R so it doesn't feel like punishment, but more of an opportunity to take the pause. My kids are still sent to their rooms, but can come out whenever they feel they have collected themselves. It has worked out great as sometimes my 12 yr old daughter will send herself to her room when she feels she's losing control for some R&R.
MomLife
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693
Career mom
12/01/19 at 2:02AM UTC
Love this advice. Thank you!

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