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MomLife

693

Career mom

11/05/19 at 11:58AM UTC

Parenting

Thoughts on giving kids timeouts?

No matter your opinion, no judgement here! A family member with a toddler asked me this question the other day and so I wanted to share with FGB’ers as well! From my experience, timeouts give the child and parents time to calm down in a situation and allows the child to learn right from wrong. If you’re not a fan of timeouts, I’d love to hear why. If you’re for timeouts, how long and do you have a designated area their timeout takes place?

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JB09718

332

11/18/19 at 8:12PM UTC

Agree with previous posts, it’s important to always reconnect after any type of dicipline too. Make sure the child understands what went wrong (I always asked “what could we do better?” or something with a positive tone, this also gives the child an opportunity to explain in their words and gives the caregiver an opportunity to correct. Also maintain eye contact throughout this part) and always end with a big hug. Younger children may not have the skill set to verbalize extensively yet but caregiver can give firm, basic direction. (Example, “no biting friends” hug, back to play) From my experience, it’s also really important to stay consistent with expectations and dicipline method. (Especially if multiple caregivers, parents and nanny/babysitter on same page etc.)

MomLife

693

Career mom

12/01/19 at 2:02AM UTC

Thank you!

Kimberly Buonomo

Passionate about inclusivity!

11/13/19 at 7:51PM UTC

I am in alignment with everyone else that has commented thus far. We did try the traditional time out as a punishment/reflection time/ calm down time and it has not worked. I truly get the most out of my child if he is asked to take a break and a deep breath. We then ask him why he is upset or why he took xyz action. Doing this helps with him understanding what happened and what truly makes him upset. In my case timeouts do not aid the case if anything makes it worst because it does seem like a punishment and many times too the crime is worth the punishment so it is a loop that goes round and round. Hope this helps!

MomLife

693

Career mom

12/01/19 at 2:02AM UTC

This does help. Thank you!

Laura Scalone

212

New Mom looking for New Career Path

11/05/19 at 1:29PM UTC

We believe in one minute for each year our child’s been alive, and we sit with them and try to help them calm down before trying to explain what they can do instead in the future.

MomLife

693

Career mom

12/01/19 at 2:02AM UTC

Clever. Thanks!

Yi-Hsian Godfrey

355

CEO, Co-Founder, Wife, Mom, Daughter, Friend

11/05/19 at 1:12PM UTC

At my kids' school, they call it R&R (rest and reflect, reflect and restore.. whatever you want the Rs to be!). I think giving "timeout" a better name helps the kids understand what they are suppose to do during this time. We also stopped putting a time on their R&R so it doesn't feel like punishment, but more of an opportunity to take the pause. My kids are still sent to their rooms, but can come out whenever they feel they have collected themselves. It has worked out great as sometimes my 12 yr old daughter will send herself to her room when she feels she's losing control for some R&R.