Do I amend my departure date?

Anonymous

July 16,2022 at 12:28PM UTC

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Do I amend my departure date? I'm launching my own business outside of my current career. Understanding that my current position would be difficult to fill, I gave my employer 3 months notice. I am now 7 weeks from departure and my immediate supervisor (who is a VP) is becoming more and more combative. Culminating in a dress down on a call yesterday in front of my peers. To be clear, I am doing my job as if I hadn't given my notice, and the verbal assault had nothing to do with my performance. It was the fact that, though I exceeded my goals, I wasn't meeting his expectations. This came on the heels of him chastising me via email just 2 days prior for providing assistance to a colleague and "splitting my focus". I'm telling myself that it's just 7 more weeks and I can tough it out but my mental health is starting to be affected. Would it be unprofessional to amend my departure date?

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LynneJuly 16,2022 at 2:14PM UTC
Even if you weren’t quitting, this is inappropriate. If you do not forsee that you’ll be using this job as a reference or that it will in any way affect the launch and longevity of your new business, I would have a sit down with him and another appropriately positioned person and say that the atmosphere has become untenable. I wouldn’t meet with him alone, you need somebody else there. Make sure you have your ducks in a row before the meeting such as getting your personal items out of there etc. because he may say you can leave that day. Good luck to you, it takes a lot of courage to leave a situation and start a business.
AnonymousJuly 16,2022 at 3:25PM UTC
With a thorough explanation as to why you can stay. In writing naming names.
Joan Williams, Senior Talent Acquisition SpecialistJuly 16,2022 at 5:07PM UTC
The difficulty of filling your position is not your problem. It's theirs. Don't make it yours. You gave three months notice, more than extremely generous.
I'm guessing you didn't give three months notice so that you could be abused for three months though. If this were me, I would say "circumstances have changed, my last day is the end of this week" unless you want to put up with this completely uncalled for behavior for 7 more weeks.
If you can afford to, I would leave. No one should be subjected to that sort of treatment. It is not you who is being unprofessional.
AnonymousJuly 16,2022 at 6:29PM UTC
Line up your references from this job, if any (colleagues, clients) and feel free to amend your departure date.
Resign in writing and give the customary two weeks notice. You needn’t give a reason for changing the date.
Your boss’s retaliatory behavior, as you know, is cruel and unfair. I agree with the comment that filling your role is the company’s problem, not yours.
AnonymousJuly 16,2022 at 11:42PM UTC
If you have the financial means to do so, I would give 2 weeks notice and bounce. Make up that you have a family emergency and you are the only relative who can step in and help
KatJuly 17,2022 at 12:10PM UTC
Agree, but don't lie. You do not need to give a reason for resigning. Just say you've decided to move up your departure date and when your last day will be. 12 weeks notice was way more generous than you needed to give. Since they're treating you like crap after 4, no reason to stay the rest of the time. They're not making an effort to hire or train someone to take over your job (which I presume is why you were staying so long). They're using this time to passively aggressively punish you for leaving. Call their bluff and leave early.
Vanda LeeJuly 17,2022 at 12:27PM UTC
Do whatever you need to do to take care of you. I just stepped out of a contract position I was in with similar treatment because I wouldn't stay on board for a much lower FT salary and all of a sudden was treated like crap after I'd agreed to assist with training my replacement. Nothing constitutes being treated disrespectfully when you're trying to do the right thing & leave on good terms. I was given the silent treatment so I just exited one week later. No regrets.
Jackie DanielsJuly 17,2022 at 12:38PM UTC
This sounds “his problem” instead of “your problem.” It’s unfair to be treated this way, but you can still leave with dignity intact.
AnonymousJuly 17,2022 at 12:40PM UTC
I learned from my last job, the more notice you give, the more time there is for attitudes to change and to be abused. If the situation is not working for you, by all means amend your departure date. At the end of the day, they are going to replace you. It will light a fire for them to move more quickly. I wish I had done that, and I only gave three weeks’ notice. Good luck!
Crystal HowellJuly 17,2022 at 12:50PM UTC
Health is important to run your new business. Report him and his emails in writing, see what happens. 7 weeks should be easier,if not, cash out and don't look back,Karma got you!
Vicki LandersJuly 17,2022 at 1:08PM UTC
This is an interesting question - as I recently gave 8 weeks notice for the same reason.
However - I also learned that the 8 weeks was more about me than it was about the company.
There is nothing inherently wrong or right about changing your departure date for your own reasons.
It sounds like the VP may be struggling with you leaving and is lashing out in ways that say more about them than you.
Hold your head up - consider what is right for YOU and do that. Companies will come and go. You are always here.
Audrey KirschJuly 17,2022 at 1:40PM UTC
You may have given too much notice. The VP either wants you to walk out or is in denial that you are leaving at all. You should be wrapping things up and training a replacement. If it’s just work as usual, you are wasting your time and your peace of mind by staying. Your time would be better spent focusing on your new business.
AnonymousJuly 17,2022 at 2:39PM UTC
No, it would not be unprofessional. Give your 2 weeks' notice and leave head held high. If they ask for help after you leave then charge them a hefty consulting rate. Good luck with your new business!
JYJJuly 17,2022 at 4:49PM UTC
Don't tolerate that kind of abuse. Amend your departure ASAP and leave that fool behind.
Anne MatsushitaJuly 17,2022 at 5:44PM UTC
Ugh, I'm sorry to hear about your situation! I would weigh what you're feeling against the potential loss of income and benefits that come with your current job, and see which feels better / worse.
If that's not a concern, if your job is at-will (not under contract), you don't have to give a reason or a heads up to resign. 2 weeks is common practice but you can give less than that if you need to get out sooner to protect your mental health. Good luck!
Liz MilneJuly 17,2022 at 11:37PM UTC
I would certainly offer it to him as an option:
"It seems that my work is not to your satisfaction at the moment. As I *am* currently working through my notice period, would you prefer me to leave immediately with pay in lieu?"
(Don't offer to leave without being paid until your expected leaving date, he might be trying to push you out to save on salary, spike his guns!)
Good luck, he sounds like an AH - why is his personal goal for you higher than your targets???
AnonymousJuly 18,2022 at 1:56AM UTC
I think @Liz
AnonymousJuly 18,2022 at 2:01AM UTC
I was trying to write that I think Liz Milne wrote it best. Can I add to get it in writing that they’ll pay if they don’t want you in office? (btw- I also left a contract position b/c of mental, emotional, and physical reasons.) You’re obviously better than that since u exceed goals. In long, don’t let the mental & emotional abuse get you.
AnonymousJuly 18,2022 at 4:10AM UTC
I left a position in April in a very similar manner.
Provided 8 weeks notice with an offer to assist with my transition plan. By week 3 my cancer of a director had made my life a living hell. Approached her about my role going forward on Monday of week 3 of my notice. She responded that she had no plans to transition my role until I was gone I could just continue doing my job.
Went into my office typed a new resignation letter changing my last day to the Friday of the next week, when I gave it to her she asked me to pack up my personal belongings and to exit the building.
I took the time off, regrouped and am glad things worked out the way they did
Barbara WhiteJuly 18,2022 at 1:36PM UTC
I would have to agree that as long as the job is an at will appointment, you can change your departure date. I would likely be courteous and give the standard two weeks' notice. Some employers do get nasty when you say you are leaving, and that's likely what's going on with your VP right now, particularly if you had a good relationship before giving notice. The eight weeks' notice could be the equivalent of slowly pulling a band-aid off a wound. A shorter time period may bring some peace.
Paula BrantnerJuly 18,2022 at 4:02PM UTC
If your own business is ready to launch, and you were staying just to give a long transition period, then I would say yes, it's time to go. Given the timing, I would stay the next two weeks, through the end of the month, and then leave.
Some managers treat the workplace like Hotel California, and will not let you leave with dignity intact, so it's on you to determine your boundaries and move on when it's best for you.
Diane Frances Lesley-NeumanJuly 18,2022 at 11:16PM UTC
Move up your departure date and get out of there. You do not deserve this.
Patricia ManroeJuly 20,2022 at 3:40AM UTC
I think I would leave now too.
Paula BrantnerJuly 21,2022 at 1:41PM UTC
I think you mean "employment at will." Right to work concerns whether you can be required to join a union. Employment at will means you can be terminated for any reason or no reason, as long as it's not an illegal reason. It's also supposed to mean you can leave at any time, although employees sometimes do get penalized when they leave without notice through bad references and blacklisting.