This is long and really just a vent, scroll by if you hate whining ;).
October 22,2020 at 5:49PM UTC
I'm posting this anonymously because I just don't know where I'm going to run into someone.
I have been working for the same organization for almost 20 years. This is my third department. My first placement was difficult - working for difficult people, but I endured it for the benefits. I had the opportunity to make a lateral move when I was there 10 years and took it, and for about five years, I was incredibly happy. Still annoying people to work for (very male-heavy management), but I had a comfort level that allowed me to feel okay going to work. Was offered another position, in a different area of the organization, with a significant raise and bump in "level." So I took it.
I am not good at confronting authority - particularly male authority. This was a new position learning new tasks and coming from another side of the organization, my coworkers were not fond of me. I had better and more advantages than they did (the unit I went to was actually absorbed BY the main organization, so I was kind of an infiltrator). Having been trained within the organization on a somewhat "equal" plane as management, we did not use titles, "Dr.," "Mr./Mrs.," etc. when interacting with each other (although when discussing people outside the organization, we always used their proper titles). My new unit is very different. They are deferential to males (referring to them by title), no matter how long they've been there. They are a group of female admins that come from "Mad Men" office environments, which is what this place was like before we "took them over." Not being trained like that, and hey - I have letters after my name too, and probably have worked harder than many of these men that were clearly put through school by their parents. Either way, I am respectful, kind, and no one says anything - but it's been told to me that I don't get along there because I don't "suck up" to the ladies enough.
I should say that my position straddles two departments, one in another building, and they are far more contemporary and appropriate in the way we interact.
I wasn't there long before I realized I wasn't happy. Along with being considered a snob for thinking I was "equal" to the men, the men I report to (2 of the 3) are cold and curt. I started in June of 2019, and I was poorly trained on many new systems. My first six months was spent sending emails asking "can someone please tell me if I'm supposed to do something, what it is, and how to do it - or direct me to the correct person to ask" and apologizing for not doing something I was never told to do in the first place.
Then we went home - and we've been home since March. This has separated me physically from these men, and my job has gotten more difficult in trying to get answers from them in how to do things. Even things I KNOW how to do, because they are procedures from the parent organization, take months because these men don't read emails, jump back with responses, and make snide comments. Of the three men I "report" to, I have never gotten one piece of positive fedback from two of them. At least one of them has made me cry more than once - via email. I am held responsible for not doing things I don't have the authority to do, despite asking for guidance.
Yet every little slip up is criticized. For example, I took a day off and forgot to note it on the calendar. I also forgot an out of office message. They emailed me 2-3 times that day looking for me, and I never checked.
The next day, I woke up to a VERY stern email letting me know "this can't happen again." Note that NO ONE tried to call me, no one emailed my PERSONAL email, no one wondered "did her internet go out? is she not getting our emails? Is she alive? Did her house burn down?" Nothing - just the assumption that I had blown them off and a reprimand for it.
In my old position, I'd have shot back with "thanks for asking if I'm okay" or something familiar like that, letting them know that while I got their message, they could be nicer about it. And it would have been fine. Likewise, I could always email my boss with "I sent this to you earlier," and not worry that he thought I was being insubordinate.
I realized this week that THAT is what it is. I don't hate my job. I don't even hate these people. I'm truly uncomfortable in this position. I don't feel comfortable with my coworkers, with my bosses, and going out for 11 months is not helping. I wake up depressed, I can't focus on work, and to be honest, the thought of going back (possibly in January) is terrifying.
I am looking for another job in the organization (I can't leave - I'm close to retirement, and if I stay, I can retire with full health benefits), but obviously, right now, the economy stinks. So I just pray and vent.
That's really all I'm doing - venting - thanks for listening.
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Hi All - I wanted to share about a substack I'm writing called Memoirs of a Working Girl.
Personal work and life ruminations, critiques, and commentary.
I wanted to share in case anyone was looking for a fun read:
*please let me know if such a post is not allowed
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I struggle with some challenges in self-worth based on others perceptions. While i'm working on it - it will be a lifelong challenge.
I was hoping for some insight. I started at an organization that it didn't take long to see that it was a toxic work environment. I was seen as a threat by the sales team, and for the five years I was there, I had my ideas stolen, I was challenged at every turn, thrown under the bus and bullied. But let me say - I wasn't alone. They didn't treat anyone in the organization with respect, and unfortunatley upper management failed to address it.
Anyway - I brought in millions of dollars, and the ownership knew that, even though the sales team did all they could to sabotage the data within the CRM - again, management failed to address it. Fast forward, the company is sold. The new company has its own Marketing in another country, and the new leader has NO idea about marketing or how it works. Even though the prior owner told them Marketing was the secret sauce to their success.
I'm out of a job because the new leader was given incorrect data and not all of the data and she didn't feel it was worth it to keep me around. Never once did she ask for my insight, my thoughts on how to get the new brand off and running. She didn't want to hear anything from me. Mind you I had been given free reign to do what I needed to do after submission of my marketing strategy, planning and budget was approved for the year - the new owner micromanged me to death. But again, I wasn't the only one.
In the six months she had me stop doing what I was doing, sales rapidly declined. In the months following my departure it increased, and she didn't understand why it was so slow I was told. Its been almost a year and there is no newly branded website, the sales team doesn't have business cards, no marketing AT ALL has been done. She did hire a contractor that used to work for me back on a project basis to help refresh the website (basically do what I told her she should do), but the cost is minimal.
Why do I feel so rejected that I was the ONLY one to be let go. After all the abuse I had taken and the success I created, despite being loved by everyone else except the sales team, i'm the only one without a job.
If I look back, I can see where she was setting me up to be let go. So I was on the cutting block since day one.
I have to wonder is it this leaders ignorance, or did the sales team have me ousted and she believe them? The biggest scam artist got promoted. I would think maybe she had influence, but it turns out she's being micromanaged way beyond what I was. The new leader is basically telling everyone how to jump, when to jump and how high. If you don't wait for her direction, there will be hell to pay.
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I have been interviewing since April.
I am working but I am making about $15,000 less then I was.
I have been over-qualified for positions but I am not getting hired.
Now, not sure if it is my age, I am 60 but look 50. Truly do!! Been blessed.
I think I blow it in the interview. I get very nervous for some reason. I don't know what I am doing wrong! You would think after all the interviews I would feel comfortable or used to them.
Does anyone have any hints for interviewing? All of mine have been over Zoom or Teams. Thank you!
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I made a small error at work.
No harm was done. I placed a message that a patient needed blood work on the wrong chart. This was questioned by my manager. Upon reviewing the chart, I realized my error and the patient never had the blood work done.
I am concerned this could become a written warning. If it is a written warning I plan to request it be a teachable moment instead of a warning since no harm was done. Any other advice on how to handle this?
My manager who spoke to me about this issue has made two huge mistakes that I am aware of. If this becomes a written warning should I question if her errors were also written warnings?
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Can I even negotiate pay at this point?
I entered into an interview process after knowing their comp range which was below what I desired. When they asked if the salary range would work for me, I said it was below my desired range but am interested in learning more. I thought perhaps learning the total comp package would make it better but it didn't. For reference, this is a very large private university, not a small business. After learning more about the role, it's clear that the responsibilities are way higher than the title calls for (I'm very confident of this). This role title would be a "step down" for me but the responsibilities match, or perhaps exceed, my current role.
It's a new role they created and frankly, I'm not sure they know exactly what they want/need. I honestly don't know how many folks would do that job with those responsibilities for that price. It seems like an easy "PASS" and move on but I met the whole team and they are so wonderful.
Here I am at the job offer; can I even negotiate a higher salary considering they told me salary is $XYZ - $XYZ? If so... how? What the heck do I say? This people-pleasing gal is stumped.
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I am on my way into maternity leave (29 weeks) and don't want to return to my job. I want to start a new job after my leave. How common is this? Does anyone else have any experience with this?